Critics everywhere agree: American Sniper is a movie with a fake, plastic baby. The doll who plays Bradley Cooper's child is so transparently not alive that it's hard to believe it appears in an Oscar contender with a $60 million budget. What was Clint Eastwood thinking here?

According to American Sniper screenwriter Jason Hall, he was thinking "Aw, fuck, our human babies didn't show up."

Hall has deleted this tweet, but it explains a lot: "hate to ruin the fun but real baby #1 showed up with a fever. Real baby #2 was no show. (Clint voice) Gimme the doll, kid."

Even when time is tight, though, is that doll really what you want? That doll gets you this scene, marring your otherwise perfectly crafted Oscar bait:


Sienna Miller sits in a rocker, pretending to breastfeed a LUMP OF PLASTIC from the UNCANNY VALLEY. She hands the lump to Oscar® Nominee Bradley Cooper.

MILLER: "I hate them for it. I do. You're the father of my children."

(Here she is referring to a chunk of lifeless, molded plastic dressed in clothes like it is a living person.)

Miller pulls the PLASTIC off her breast, handing it to Oscar® Nominee Cooper.

OSCAR® NOMINEE COOPER (doesn't look up from his LUMP OF PLASTIC's "face"): "We can wait. They can't."

LUMP OF PLASTIC: Waaah! Wah. Wah?

LUMP OF PLASTIC falls silent.


Bradley Cooper will probably still win Best Actor, no thanks to that no-showing prima donna, Baby #2. You'll never work in this town again, Baby #2.

[h/t Vulture]