If I ever become an actor and get famous enough to have my own episode of Inside the Actors Studio, when James Lipton asks me, “If Heaven exists what would you like to hear God say at the Pearly Gates?,” my answer will be: “Yomma kippee yabo, said erayfa kabo in da Latin he quoth: You, Jay, soffa saray!!!”

The video above has been on YouTube since February 22, 2011 and in those four years, it’s amassed 27,722 views. That’s paltry for something so brilliantly full of shit (and scatting). And I haven’t even mentioned the he-dogs and she-dogs yet!

We should change that. Watch this. Tell your friends to watch it. Memorize it. Think about it at least once a day. I have and, believe me, it’s made my life better.

I’m not sure of the source of this video (its randomness probably makes that much more effective). I do know that Kim Cattrall and the man to whom she is married in the video—sound designer/musician Mark Levinson—divorced in 2004. Before that, they co-wrote the sex manual Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm. I’m assuming their written collaboration was founded on the same principles as their musical one. As Cattrall explains in the video above: “We just have a good rhythm together, you know? He sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and uh, we go for it.”

Update: As many have pointed out, Cattrall is, uh, interpreting portions of the Rupert Brooke poem “The Little Dog’s Day.” The actual lines that are recited read:

Jam incipiedo, sedere facebo,”
In dog-Latin he quoth, “Euge! sophos! hurray!

...He fought with the he-dogs, and winked at the she-dogs...

...For the town never knew such a hullabaloo
As that little dog raised—till the end of the day.