Lacey Donohue · 01/16/14 01:59PM

Duck Dynasty—a show about a man who hates anal—returned last night to A&E for a fifth season. Though more than 8.5 million viewers tuned in, the number is far from the 11.8 million viewers who watched the fourth season premiere in August. This means 8.5 million too many people are still watching, but it's a start.

A+E Caves, Reinstates Bearded Bigot Phil Robertson to Duck Dynasty

Beejoli Shah · 12/27/13 06:11PM

A mere eight days after placing Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson on "indefinite hiatus" following his homophobic comments to GQ Magazine, A+E has caved to Internet demand and brought Robertson back to the cast of the popular cable show. The reinstatement comes after a petition at garnered 259,979 signatures (at the time of publication)—a mere 2% of the show's average 11.8 million viewer audience.

Anderson Cooper Knows Far Too Much About 85 Year Old Mom's Cunnilingus

Beejoli Shah · 12/27/13 02:18PM

Plan on never unhearing what you're about to hear about the Vanderbilts and their love of tongue play; if geriatric oral sex isn't your thing, TLC's new sex-focused reality series makes Kim Kardashian look like Jennifer Lawrence; Hollywood has joined the NFL in disenfranchising Native Americans for a quick profit; and a quarter million people who you never knew even watched Duck Dynasty now want Phil Robertson back.