In a new Rolling Stone interview, Rage Against the Machine bassist Tim “Timmy C.” Commerford claimed responsibility for one of most devastating outbreaks during the rap-metal crisis that ravaged America in the years leading up to 9/11: the one, the only, Limp Bizkit. He hereby apologizes for that bullshit.
As the donut-licking trial of Ariana Grande entered its 67th day, the embattled former pop star finally took the stand in Good Morning America’s Times Square courtroom Tuesday morning to address allegations that she hates Americans. (The allegations are based on the time she said, “I hate Americans.”) But, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do you just go around wishing a good morning to people you hate? The defense rests.
Critics agree: Aloha is the worst film Cameron Crowe has ever made (reminder: Cameron Crowe made We Bought a Zoo). Sony Pictures exec Amy Pascal infamously wrote in a leaked email that “It never … Not even once … ever works.” But the least workable thing, according to Cameron Crowe, is that you got mad when he cast the translucently white Emma Stone as a woman who’s a quarter Asian. Cameron Crowe is sorry you were offended.
Songwriter to the stars and singer in her own right Sia has apologized to the Twitter users and YouTube commenters who shape our culture for her "Elastic Heart" video, which hit Vevo yesterday. In it, the 28-year-old fuckery conduit Shia Lebeouf and 12-year-old Dance Moms star Maddie Ziegler dance intensely while wearing dirty underwear that is roughly the color of their skin. "Pedophile!" said some to this. One said it was the latest addition to his OH FUCK NO list:
[Shia LaBeouf announced his retirement Thursday night alongside the mysterious message "#stopcreating." But LaBeouf's love of writing combined with his love of the sky pulled him back into the artistic fold Friday afternoon. "#stopcreating," opined LaBeouf in the skies over Beverly Hills. So deep, man. So fucking deep.]
Shia LaBeouf is on fire lately: stealing words, apologizing, renting planes, apologizing again, trying to make profound commentary about intellectual property but instead making commentary on actors lacking intellect. Now, in the hope of not being forgotten, he's gone ahead and borrowed from Kanye's 2009 apology to Taylor Swift:
Shia LaBeouf is very very sorry for plagiarizing Daniel Clowes' graphic novel Justin M. Damiano. And he can't stop apologizing for it. He's apologized so much he even ran out of his own words and had to steal apologies from famous people including Kanye West, Robert McNamara, Tiger Woods, and Shepherd Fairey.