Mark Wahlberg, talented producer, actor, and violent criminal who would have stopped 9/11 if only he'd been on the plane, ate such a big breakfast after wrapping The Gambler—you have no idea!

How big of a breakfast did he eat, you're asking, in the joke's responsorial cadence. Well, hold on! Don't you want to know why he ate a big breakfast in the first place? It's because he was on a liquid diet while filming The Gambler in order to lose 60 pounds. There was a slight problem with his English muffin during the breakfast, but—ah, I'll let him tell it (through Page Six):

"The first thing I ate was a huge pancake, eggs over easy, English muffins, home fries, bacon, sausage," he told us at the flick's premiere at AMC Lincoln Square. "You know, you wait for it so long, and this English muffin, when it came it wasn't brown enough . . . Normally, I'm not like a take-it-back kind of guy . . . but I said, 'You have to make this golden brown. I want the nooks and the crannies, I want the butter dripping off.' I ate until I was sick."

Now this is a story we both know!

[image via Getty]