Madonna, who's been talking all kinds of nonsense lately in an effort to promote her new album, completed Us Weekly's reliably insane "25 Things You Don't Know About Me" interview this week. In it, she manages to throw shade at her competitors and make a weird, racist swipe at the backup dancers who allegedly caused her to fall at the Brit Awards.

Let's start with the most obvious blow. The number seven thing you (maybe) don't know about Madonna? She is not a member of the Beyhive:

7. The person I most want to meet is President Obama. When the heck am I going to meet him? He just needs to invite me to the White House already. He probably thinks I'm too shocking to be there. I'm serious. If I was a little bit more demure…or if I was just married to Jay Z. Hey, if Jay would only take me as his second wife, then I'd score an invitation.

She also does not care for the state of Michigan, where she was born:

6. I miss absolutely nothing about growing up in Michigan. Nothing at all.

She does not see the utility of fur bikinis, or, it would follow, Kim Kardashian:

8. The one thing I'd never be caught dead wearing is a fur bikini.

And finally, she reveals that she hates mushrooms and escargot, which is understandable.

Lest you think Madonna's "25 Things You Don't Know About Me" is just 25 things Madonna does not like, here's what she has to say about Drake:

16. The lifelong ambition I still want to fulfill is to go on a dream date with Drake— and only kiss him.

So she is capable of showing affection for some people. This goodwill does not extend, unfortunately, to her backup dancers. Here's how she describes the "most embarrassing moment" of her life:

17. The most embarrassing moment of my life was falling off stage—let me rephrase that, being choked off the stage by two little Japanese girls—at the 2015 Brit Awards. Extremely embarrassing!

Maybe rephrase that again.

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