Beyoncé and Jay Z are collectively worth something like $1 billion. Maybe. Beyoncé said it herself so it must be true. The point is that they can basically buy anything in the world. Nonetheless, spending $85 million on a single pool is a serious purchase for even the richest elevator fight club. Beyoncé and Jay Z might do such a thing, but here's the real question: would you?
Last month, TMZ reported that the two were sniffing around 1181 Hillcrest Road in Beverly Hills. The pool comes with eight bedrooms and 15 bathrooms (you can tour them virtually in the video above), which is convenient if you want to throw a pool party for everyone you've ever met in your life but they all need to change at the same time. According to Curbed LA, it's the third most expensive pool (home) on the market in Los Angeles.
Here is a photo of the pool:
I'm gonna be honest, my first reaction to this pool was, "I'd spend $85 million on this pool (if I had a $1 billion net worth when combined with my partner)." It is expansive and, thanks to the dark stone, looks especially calming. I bet that it's saltwater, too.
But subsequent photos of the $85 million pool made me question whether I'd really spend $85 million on it (if I had a $1 billion net worth when combined with my partner).
Here are some other photos:
The night shot is cool, but it's the second one—the one with the weird piss-stream fountains—that really gives me pause. Certainly, if I were to spend $85 million on this pool (if I had a $1 billion net worth when combined with my partner), I could choose to never turn on the piss-stream fountains. But even knowing that my pool could immediately be transformed into a tacky mall fountain would give me unrest during my quietest moments. Would my neighbors feel compelled to throw pennies into my $85 million pool?
Here is a photo of two Sexy Ladies lounging by the pool with the piss-stream fountains on full blast:
What kind of look is this, for $85 million? I'm sorry, but this is an Entourage idea of a pool. This photo makes me want to be lounging right next to one of these Sexy Ladies, but only so I can turn to her Sexy Ear and whisper, "I really can't..."
So, would I spend $85 million on this pool? No—no I wouldn't. I feel confident in that assessment.
But that's not what is important here. The question is: would you?
Previously in Gawker Review of Pools: