In a conversation on Sunday night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, eldest sister Kourtney brought up her stepfather Bruce Jenner’s announcement that he is transgender and planning to transition. A totally normal topic, given that she ostensibly just learned about this in last week’s episode—except the conversation broadcast on Sunday was actually filmed last November, while Jenner’s announcement to his stepdaughters was filmed two months later, in January.
Have you ever suspected that the Kardashians might be lying to you? That Keeping Up with the Kardashians might not be representing reality 100 percent faithfully?
You’re not alone.
Every week, keen-eyed Kardashians scholar Mariah Smith uses paparazzi photos, gossip-blog coverage, the family’s own Instagram and Twitter accounts, and common sense, to investigate, and establish a detailed and accurate shooting schedule of Keeping Up With the Kardashians—laying bare the distorted timelines and manufactured plotline of America’s royal family. Welcome to Keeping Up With the Kontinuity Errors.
On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the A-plot was the family’s yearly vacation; the B-plot was Khloe and Kylie bonding; and the C-plot was Kim’s stinginess.
Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, and Kylie all head out for a casual dinner. After Kylie explains a nightmare in which she kept waking up saying “Kourtney,” Kourtney urges the table to all think seriously about going to therapy. She says she finds it helpful, because everyone in their family is so busy that they “can’t think about what’s happening sometimes.” Kendall doesn’t have an issue with therapy, but Kylie does. Kylie feels that you shouldn’t go to therapy “unless you’re the one asking for it,” so she won’t be going.
When speaking to the camera in a confessional, Kourtney says that her mention of therapy at the restaurant is due in part to Bruce’s transition being public. Very curious, since this was filmed on November 17, 2014—five months before Bruce officially went public with his transition (on April 24, 2015), and about two months before all the girls were filmed learning Bruce was planning to transition (on January 19, 2015). The confessional in which Kourtney makes the connection between therapy and Bruce’s transition, meanwhile, was filmed April 20, 2015.
At Khloe’s house, Khloe and Kim play with a pair of binoculars that belonged to their father, Robert Kardashian, Sr. Once the two are done looking at close range things with with a far range optical device, Kim sighs that she “just wants to go skiing.” Khloe doesn’t think it’s “aligned in the cards” for them to do a big family trip this year because there’s been too much craziness going on. After a quick search on her phone, Kim decides that they should all go skiing in Big Sky, Montana. Like a race of words, both Khloe and Kim boldly state that they’ve never been to Montana. Wow, short-term memory really isn’t what it used to be. This scene was filmed on February 23, 2015, two days after Kim and Khloe returned from their trip to Montana on February 21.
Khloe, Kourtney, Kim, Scott, Kids and Staff all board their private jet to Montana. Kourtney debuts her baby, Reign, on KUWTK, and Kim debuts the back of North’s neck. Of course, Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika is there, and Kim’s friend Jonathan, along with Kylie, will meet them in Montana. Khloe asks Kim what the sleeping arrangements are looking like for Malika and Jonathan. Kim tells Khloe that she booked her boy Jonathan a hotel room nearby, and that Malika can either share a bed with Khloe or sleep on the couch. Khloe’s upset that Kim booked her company in a lavish hotel, but regulated Malika to a pull-out. At the end of Khloe’s day, Malika is not going on the couch, and Kim needs to figure something out quickly. This was filmed on February 18, 2015.
Scene 7: Filmed on February 18, 2015
After de-planing and caravanning to their rental, the Montana Crew pulls up to the house-pardon us, estate—that couldn’t accommodate Malika. Kimberly Noel Kardashian West, you mean to tell us that Malika couldn’t sleep in one of the five bedrooms, the “lounge by day, bunk room by night,” or the theater room? Or perhaps you could have not invited more people than you could comfortably house?
Two people who have a place to lay their heads that night, Kylie and Jonathan, arrive at the estate. Kylie immediately finds her bed and retires to it with her brown paper bag. Like Scene 5, this was filmed on February 18, 2015.
Scene 10: Filmed on February 18, 2015
The Montana Crew kicks back at the estate, laughing about familial spin the bottle, black and white double sided dildos, and one of their friends still not knowing where they will sleep later that evening. Though she wasn’t promised it, Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend Malika speaks her blessing and says she is going to be staying in the hotel room that night. Kim brings her back down to earth, saying that the hotel is fully booked and the only room available is the penthouse suite. But get this, even though Kim promised the room to Jonathan, the group decides that Jonathan and Malika can compete for the room with a game of charades. This episode of Always the Bridesmaid and Never the Bride, Even Though Our Best Friends Are Multi-Millionaires With A Lot of Influence was filmed on February 18, 2015.
Jonathan comes to see Kim in her room, and asks her if the rumors about Bruce are true. When Kim confirms that what he’s heard is correct, Jonathan asks a lot of follow up questions to last week’s episodes. In short: the family is adjusting, Bruce is very happy, the family has each other, and everyone will be alright. This very informative and not at all contrived conversation was filmed on February 20, 2015—one month after Bruce was filmed informing his daughters of his plans to transition.
Scene 12: Filmed on February 18, 2015
The Montana Crew plays charades to see if Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend Malika or Jonathan will earn a bed. With Khloe on Jonathan’s team and Kim on Malika’s, this seems like a very fair, diplomatic game. After a few rounds, Jonathan wins the room and asks Malika to get his bags for him. Malika, good sis: Dash Dolls got picked up! You don’t have to do this anymore! RUN!!! Malika’s loss was filmed on February 18, 2015.
Kylie and Khloe get ready to hit the slopes, and Kylie mentions a tram she wants to go on that takes you to the highest peak of the mountain. Khloe is terrified, but goes because it’s going to make Kylie happy. They have to take multiple trams to get to the top of the mountain, which isn’t even visible from lower peaks. Luckily for Khloe, the conditions are too bad for them to go all the way up, so they have to ditch this plan. Khloe and Kylie (try to) Take the Highest Peak was filmed on February 20, 2015.
Scene 17: Filmed on February 18, 2015
After their failed attempt at skiing on the highest peak, Kylie calls Khloe into her room to talk about heli-skiing/boarding. In her confessional, Kylie says she’s determined to go to the highest peak since the tram ride didn’t work out in Scene 14. Oddly enough, Kylie asks Khloe to go heli-skiing before they even rode the trams, because this was filmed on February 18, 2015, the same day the Montana Crew arrived, and before they did any skiing at all.
Kylie and Khloe go heli-skiing. Khloe is panicking, and Kylie is chilling like she does this everyday. After hopping off the helicopter, Kylie and Khloe engage in some winter sports on the mountain. Khloe has some difficulties staying upright, but eventually gathers herself for a nice time with Kylie. Khloe and Kylie (actually) Take the Highest Peak was filmed on February 19, 2015, the day before they couldn’t make it to the top of the mountain via trams in Scene 14. Their intuition must be out of this world!
Khloe plays pool with Jonathan and asks him to apologize to Everybody’s Favorite Best Friend, Malika for being rude to her. Apparently, Jonathan told Malika she was jealous of him because he snagged the more famous friend. Jonathan clarifies his comments, and claims he said that he got the hotel room because Kim was more famous than Khloe. Ahhh, much better. Kim adds on to Jonathan’s comment, saying she took care of her friend and expected Khloe to do the same for Malika. Khloe’s now pissed, because Kim booked the estate without telling her there wouldn’t be room for Malika. Kim isn’t having it and accuses Malika and Khloe of having an inferiority complex and insinuates that Khloe keeps Malika around to showboat for and entertain her. Kim, don’t be fucking rude! This scene where Kimberly Noel Kardashian West, mother of a biracial child, accused a black woman of putting on a show for a white woman and calling it friendship, was filmed on February 20, 2015—the same night the Montana Crew celebrated Jonathan’s birthday.
Scene 25: Filmed on February 20, 2015
Scott is driving Jonathan, Malika, Kourtney and Khloe when he gets caught behind an SUV that keeps hitting the brakes. Scott, caught between this SUV and a 16-wheeler, almost has a major accident when the SUV stops abruptly, nearly causing the 16-wheeler to rear-end his car. Scott is PISSED so he pulls up next to the SUV, yells, and spits. Due to proximity and what we believe to be physics, the spit does not land on the driver of the other SUV, but on Jonathan. Oh well. This was filmed on February 20, 2015.
That’s it for today, dolls! See you next week for our mid-season finale KUWTSnow Bunnies re-cap on KUWTKE. #DontBeFuckingRude