Grinning six-pack Ryan Gosling's directorial debut, Lost River— the movie everyone hated at this year's Cannes—will not be unleashed in theaters for further ridicule. Warner Bros. will instead release the film "via home entertainment" next April.
The movie, also written by Gosling, is about a down on her luck single mother (Christina Hendricks) whose teenage son (Iain De Caestecker) gets tangled up with the town bully (Matt Smith, whose character is literally named Bully) before finding an underwater utopia (??????). Sounds loony. And people really hated this movie! From Justin Chang's review for Variety:
Had Terrence Malick and David Lynch somehow conceived an artistic love-child together, only to see it get kidnapped, strangled and repeatedly kicked in the face by Nicolas Winding Refn, the results might look and sound something like "Lost River," a risible slab of Detroit gothic that marks an altogether inauspicious writing-directing debut for Ryan Gosling.
Yeesh. But just watch the trailer. I did. No fucking clue what's going on.
[Image via Getty]