Ariana Grande, toony tiny pop singer who could basically wear a cupcake wrapper as a long skirt, was recently caught on video licking donuts that she had not purchased. Sadly, despite her flouting of American donut law and basic hygiene, she will not face criminal mischief charges, TMZ reports. That means Ariana Grande’s sandpapery forked demon-tongue could be all over your donuts right now.
The victimized donut shop, Wolfee Donuts, is partially to blame for letting Grande walk free. TMZ reports the owner declined to press charges against the singer (and, presumably, her donut-licking backup dancer boyfriend-accomplice).
Ariana has apologized multiple times for saying she hates America, but has been far less repentant about her mistreatment of American donuts. This, coupled with the fact she may be Satan, suggests she will strike again. She could lick anything, anywhere, at any time. Donuts in particular. None of us is truly safe.
[Photo: Ariana Grande/Instagram]