Human selfie Justin Timberlake and his show poodle, Jessica Biel, have managed to add a new generation to the Timberlake dynasty despite only having sex once, for two minutes, while JT looked in a mirror: a baby boy named Silas Randall.

Silas. Sigh-las. What does the name Silas evoke? I am going to write down the first seven things I think of (try it for yourself in the comments section).

  1. A dead Union soldier.
  2. Banjo
  3. Jar of switchel
  4. Edison lightbulb
  5. Dead dog covered in fleas
  6. Toilet liquor
  7. A rusty doorknob, and when you turn it all the rust comes off on your hands.

It actually makes complete sense that a Justin and a Jessica would name their baby Silas. The "s" sound prevails among those susceptible to trends and pretension. Consider the top baby names of today: Sophia, Isabella, Mason, Jackson. Their parents are all named Justin and Jessica. It's the circle of life. Empty breeds empty.

Anyway, Silas is an Aramaic name, much like Mel Gibson. It means "of the forest." The forest of his parents' lack of thoughts.

This has been Baby Name Critic.

Leah Finnegan is Gawker's Baby Name Critic.

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Photo via AP