1. Paris Hilton signs (yet again) her book, Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose tonight at Book Soup. It's hard to imagine that her hard-core fans didn't get their Paris fix at Brentano's last week, but why not go and see how long it takes her hand to cramp up from the exertion? Or, if you're not a Paris fan...
2. The cock-eyed optimist activists from H.O.P.E. (Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment) will be protesting the Hilton book signing from in front of the Tower Records on the opposite side of Sunset Blvd, all in the name of restoring quality entertainment to the masses. We smell an old-fashioned rumble!

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