A spy tips us that Viacom co-president/toothy, inevitable galactic dictator Les Moonves visited the offices of KROQ as part of a tour of the conglomerate's Los Angeles radio properties. Is Moonves pushing up the date of the invasion that will someday enslave us all, kicking the tires of his instruments of eventual domination? Our spy's transmissions were choppy; no doubt he was hiding in an air duct until Moonves' white-glove inspection passed. Here's what we pieced together:

making sure the place isn't full of ghost employees...here with igor-like no-man (they pay him BB to say "no" to everything) joel hollander...demonstrating new decapitronics software...providing inspiration and instructions to station managers for new "head bowling" intramural sport...[friend] experienced retinal damage by viewing Les' teeth without CSI-UV-goggles

From the sound of this, Moonves will soon add our mopey, Good Charlotte-listening teens to his army of nothing-to-lose, octogenarian, CBS-viewer shock troops. But there's probably still time for the rest of us to escape to the Utah desert and start a new civilization—at least until he finds us. And he will find us.

• Zucker Vs. Moonves: Executive Cockfight [Defamer]

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