At left, Pamela Anderson finally completes her transformation into a life-size blow-up doll.

Oh, it's Tuesday. Pamela Anderson completes her transformation into a published novelist. According to USA Today, Pam is "thrilled" by the reviews. "Someone said, 'This isn't crap.' And I said, 'Can we write that on the back?'" We're just a little sad that Anderson's roman à clef isn't going to get a fair shake; Star: A Novel could be the next The Day of the Locust and we'd never know because we're too busy expending our exegetical powers trying to discern which character is actually Scott Baio and which one David Charvet.

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