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    Monday Morning Box Office: Natural Bourne Killer Bourne To Run To Number One

    matt-damon.jpgThe numbers are in, and Catwoman is a hit! Well, it is if your understanding of "hit" runs counter to the one accepted by most speakers of English.

    1. The Bourne Supremacy — $53.5 million
    We told you the "Bourne" puns were coming. Why don't you listen to us? "Bourne-again star", "Natural Bourne Killer: Matt Damon," "Natural 'Bourne' killer," "Bourne again." And our favorites: "Damon 'Bourne' to run in spy sequel," and "Bourne to run."

    2. I, Robot — $22.05 million
    I, Might Finally Go To A Matinee And Quietly Laugh At How Silly Those Supposedly Scary Robots Look

    3. Catwoman — $17.16 million
    We can't exactly pinpoint when Catwoman began to parade around in its own stink, but this certainly didn't help.

    4. Spider-Man 2 — $15 million
    Is it really so hard to dress someone up in a ridiculous, tight-fitting outfit and make shitloads of money? And Catwoman even had the time-tested box office advantage of tits over bulge.

    5. A Cinderella Story — $8.04 million
    Cinderella is quietly doing a nice little business among the summer blockbusters. We think it's finally safe to start the countdown to Hillary Duff balcony-and-bodega paparazzi photography.


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