Tomorrow's Star magazine's cover screams about Mary-Kate's trip to rehab: "IT'S DRUGS!" And just in case you didn't get the message and are confused about her stay at Cirque Lodge, the little box above "DRUGS" tells us "IT'S NOT ANOREXIA." We suppose that the editors of Star determined that "SHE'S A COKEHEAD, BITCH!" was a little too harsh for the supermarket checkout scene.

Of course, this reinforces the Defamer's First Rule Of Celebrity Rehab: Stars are always in treatment for a problem worse than the one given in the initial press release.

UPDATE: By popular demand, Defamer shows you what the alternate, more to-the-point Star cover might have looked like. Click here to see the actual Star cover.

UPDATE: The unsurprising, official denail is here.

• MARY-KATE OLSEN IN REHAB: BATTLING DRUGS AND ANOREXIA [Star Magazine]
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• Mary-Kate Olsen: Not As Hungry As We Thought? [Defamer]

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