Jake Gyllenhaal's caught turning his dreamy-eyed X-rays onto a Sparkle Motion dancer by Variety's camera at Thursday night's Egyptian Theater premiere of the Donnie Darko director's cut. Or is he just trying to explain what the fuck is actually going on in Darko? Either way, nice move: In Hollywood, a good way to get laid is to a) be famous or b) talk about your incomprehensible indie film until someone fucks you just to shut you up.

• VPage: Jake Gyllenhaal mingles [Variety, sub. req'd.]
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• Kirsten And Jake Split? [Defamer]

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