We hate to take another plunge into the dirty waters of Page Six, but since we think that we knew about Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal splitting before he did, we feel like we have a responsibility to keep everyone updated. It seems that Kirsten stomped on Jake's heart at least partly due to the growing economic disparity between them, as "they come from different worlds," and "she's making some serious money." Yeah, it seems obvious that Spider-Man money is a lot better than gay cowboy money, but it's always hard to see our town's super-rich dump the merely rich. We hope that Jake doesn't shake his romantic funk by trying to rock Hollywood's socioeconomic order; better to drown his sorrows in a hot tub full of struggling Cheesecake Factory waitresses than to risk more heartache when the next It Girl uses her natural assets to break the bank.

• JAKE'S HEARTBREAK [NY Post]


• The Kirsten And Jake Report: Officially Split [Defamer]

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