We're hearing that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have tied the highly age-inappropriate knot in a private Kabbalah ceremony in Florida. In Touch Weekly will run the cover story this week. Developing, as those other, filthy gossip rags say...

But Florida? Was the Wacky Inner Light Sanctum at the L.A. Kabbalah Centre booked? How do you color-coordinate your red string with a floral-pattern shirt and black socks with sandals? This alleged item raises so many questions.

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