Say what you want about Kabbalah's rampage through Hollywood, but ever since Britney got tossed into the back of the white van by Madonna, she's really turned her life around. She recovered from a knee injury with incredible speed, she's eating better, drinking better, she's got a great man in her life, she's tighter than ever with her family, and constantly exploring new business opportunities. Maybe we can all learn a lesson from Brit. Let's all pick up some red string bracelets, bone up on our Zohar, and enjoy the our new, improved selves as we strive toward immortality. See you all at the Target on LaBrea in ten minutes!

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