Robert Pattinson Is Rumored To Be the New Indiana Jones

We have reached the beautiful zenith of absurd casting rumors: British tabloid Daily Star is reporting that Disney is considering Twilight brooder Robert Pattinson for their new Indiana Jones franchise. May we all be blessed with the vitriol this rumor being proven true will invite.

All told, the Daily Star's report is beyond dubious:

One Los Angeles insider said: "Disney is looking at its long-term options for the Indiana Jones franchise.

"They feel that the series has huge potential on many levels, starting with the films leading to other spin-offs like games which can generate more money than movies.

"Rob is top of the initial list because he has showed his acting stripes away from Twilight."

"But the competition will be stiff."

But we can be certain that there will be an Indiana Jones remake at some point—Disney didn't shell out to buy the rights from Paramount for nothing. (You'll remember that Disney is also the reason we have to have new Star Wars movies.) Bradley Cooper, oddly enough, was first rumored to take up Harrison Ford's whip and stubble, and seems like a much better choice.

Not rumored to be in contention for the role: Shia LaBeouf.

[Image via Getty]