Would you take your baby to a fashion show? You probably wouldn't. What baby could enjoy a fashion show, and what person could enjoy a fashion show while tending to a baby? Of course, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are not normal people, and their daughter North West is not a normal baby. And so it was with North's legendary Fashion Week: A constant nightmare punctuated by writhing, screaming, wailing, and resting "Can I live?" face.
North's weekend from hell began on Thursday, when she briefly attended the debut of her father's new fashion line. The show was held up by a delay so protracted that Kanye was forced to answer for it in a subsequent interview. Later, he blared his new single "Wolves." Despite being seated in the vicinity of fashion icons such as Cassie, North cried with the force of a demon.
NORI FED UP pic.twitter.com/uWeVLHjYcC— Desus Nice (@desusnice) February 12, 2015
Later in the night, North was photographed by paparazzi, clinging to a pack of gum like it was a life preserver, looking visibly scarred after having attended just one fashion show. It would only be the beginning.
On Saturday, North tagged along with her mother and father to Alexander Wang's show. Wang's fall line featured a heavy goth motif, with ghoulish models draped in black stomping around in chunky platform boots. North sporting her own baby Doc Martens seemed to find it all... very disturbing, and attempted to slip from her mother's grasp and through the floor where she might possibly find some solace.
Here, in one of the greatest photos in the history of the fashion industry, is a stiff and starfishes Nori attempting to expel herself from her mother's arms:
On Sunday, North had the day off. It was very cold in New York City, with the temperature dipping below 10 degrees. Here is North, photographed outside her parents' SoHo apartment, attempting to will herself into another dimension.
On Monday morning, the West family left New York City. For her airport look, North wore a green hoodie, green jeans, gleaming Stan Smiths, and a face of general repugnance.
Here is the face of someone who deserves a vacation:
See you next year!
[second and third images via Getty, all others via Splash]