The prospect of Francis Ford Coppola imposing a "sex change" on Javier Bardem had us a million ways of excited (and just a little faint) today — and then we read the fine print. It turns out the director decided during rehearsals for his upcoming film Tetro that a woman would be a better mentor to his title character, played by Vincent Gallo. "As I read and reread (the script)," Coppola told The Hollywood Reporter, "I felt that the interaction between the two characters would be far more intriguing if they were of the opposite sex." Of course, the casting of Spanish actress Carmen Maura had nothing to do with Bardem reportedly "becoming unavailable" while keeping himself open for the Rob Marshall musical Nine, which shoots this fall. A similar scenario arose earlier in preproduction when Coppola, reportedly wanting to "go skeevy" with his lead, instinctively replaced Matt Dillon with Gallo. Either way, we think he's earned the benefit of our doubt. [THR]

Hey, That's My Bike

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Throwing A Late-Night Lemon Party

· When the above sketch runs on Talkshow with Spike Feresten> tomorrow night, it will probably represent the filthiest reference ever made on television. (Do some internetting of the term "lemon party" if you don't know what we're talking about. But we suspect you do, sickies.) More »

Will Ferrell's Patience Eroded After Umpteenth Handshake At Sherman Oaks Galleria

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted the star of your favorite CW series dumping her boyfriend at a local eatery. More »

Ryan Seacrest's Refrigerator Secrets

In honor of Zodiac, the long-awaiting release from director David Fincher opening today, the LAT has a little fun by taking some of America's other legendary serial killers and playing one of Defamer's favorite parlor games, "casting the CBS movie of the week." (Only in this case, it's something more akin to "casting the $85 million Paramount/Warner Bros. co-production.") Some of their choices are mind-numbingly obvious (gee, we guess now that you mention it, Vincent Gallo does kinda look like Charles Manson), and some we just don't really see (we're not getting Green River Killer from Kevin Costner, sorry. He always gave us more of a Scott Thompson-vibe.) But one pairing was so inspired, it instantly chilled us to the bone: Forgetting for a moment that Dahmer was about a half-foot taller than his red-carpet-stationed doppelganger, something about the glassy-eyed smile, the boyish good looks, the laid-back, charming demeanor that lulls you into a state of trusting complacency, instantly said to us "human pancreas in an empty Blue Bonnet margarine tub." More »

Vincent Gallo Reveals All To Gawker

Yesterday, sister site Gawker put on its reporter hat and placed a call to actor/director/infamous on-camera fellatio recipient Vincent Gallo to get to the bottom of the Brown Bunny stunt-cock controversy. Here's a taste of Gallo's 45-minute conversation, in which he again asserts the cinematic primacy of his own dong, holds forth on his recent move to LA, and floridly sullies the name of the supposed stunt-cock's mother: More »

Short Ends: Vincent Gallo's Blow-In Comes Forward

· An actor is alleging that he was Vincent Gallo's Brown Bunny stunt cock...and breaking his confidentiality agreement because he hasn't yet been paid for letting Chloe Sevigny blow him. Dude, in many Hollywood circles, you just got time-and-a-half. More »

The Brown Bunny Blowjob Revealed

Porn-seeking-missile sister site Fleshbot scores some video-captures of Vincent Gallo and Chloe Sevigny's infamous Brown Bunny blowjob scene [NSFW], thus saving us from our guilt from never ponying up for a ticket to get a look at it ourselves. (And our friends that had seen it are finally released from a continuing barrage of questions that they couldn't have answered without expensive forensic equipment.) Looking at this collage of vidcaps is a poor substitute for the acute sense of communal embarrassment one would get from sharing the full-motion, in-theater experience with other perverts, but we plan on printing it out, constructing a crude fellatio flipbook, and having some pals over to approximate the shame. More »