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celebrity rehab
5 Moments That Made Us Want To Curl Up And Die On Last Night's 'Celebrity Rehab 2' Premiere
We've been anticipating last night's Celebrity Rehab 2 premiere for some time now—we'd been pestering the good Dr. Drew Pinsky himself about it as far back as June when taping had just begun, and as recently as Wednesday had excitedly teased an entertaining scene featuring Gary Busey unpacking a Samsonite case full of spare change, hair highlighter, and coke-flecked dog fur. We wanted to wait to watch the full opener in all its self-destructive glory on TV, however, which we did. It didn't take long before we were clutching our knees to our chest, rocking back and forth, and repeating, "Why? Oh God, why?" We run down for you now the five most heart-sinkingly awful moments: More » -
gary busey
Gary Busey Admits He's Done Coke Off A Canine Hooker's Back
Fans of Celebrity Rehab's first season will recall it featured several breakout recoveries, including those of failed hip-hop superduo Vikki & Kenickie, as well as the addictionless Joanie "Chyna" Laurer, who right up until CR commencement exercises refused to reveal the enigmatic circumstances that led her into the program. Tomorrow night, the second season premieres on VH1, but a preview already posted online suggests that Gary Busey—who's made it clear his involvement is strictly as mystical, recovering-coke-fiend mahatma to the other patients—could wind up contributing more story-editor-nip drama to the proceedings than spiritual guidance. More » -
brooke hogan
For Brooke Hogan, The Family That Pole Dances Together Stays Together
Sure, reality star Brooke Hogan doesn't know who Sarah Palin is (or the identity of our current vice president, for that matter), but it's only because she's been working so hard! After all, who has time to brush up on politics when you're busy taking striptease classes with your mother? Yes, on last night's episode of Brooke Knows Best, Brooke decides that a pole-dancing lesson will be just the thing she needs for a workout, and she decides to bring mother Linda along, too. Showing off the moves that would eventually bag Linda a nineteen-year-old boyfriend and strain her relations with Brooke, the cougar supremo humps the pole and floor in an unnerving mother/daughter celebration of post-postmodern female empowerment, disguised as a workout routine at Crunch. We can't wait until a very special Christmas episode of Brooke Knows Best, when Linda returns the favor and gifts Brooke with a coupon for pairs' Kegel exercises at the downtown Miami Y. [VH1] -
brooke hogan
Brooke Hogan on Dick Cheney: 'Who's That?'
When we solicited thoughts on VP candidate Sarah Palin from reality star Brooke Hogan, Brooke's naive response of "Who's that?" initially echoed in our hearts as a poignant reminder of the bygone, pre-Palin media era. You can imagine our confusion, then, when Hogan appeared on today's Howard Stern show and as the subject of the now-notorious Defamer video came up, she coolly denied that we'd ever asked her about Sarah Palin in the first place: More » -
short ends
Unearthed Britney Spears Concert Footage Demonstrates The Value Of Lip-Syncing
· You know how everyone used to complain that Britney Spears lip-synced her way through all of her concerts? Well, after seeing this video that isolates Britney's vocals during her "Live From Las Vegas" show, we're pretty sure you'll be thankful that backing tracks exist. [Funny Or Die via Buzzfeed] More » -
tiffany pollard
Misconceived Commercial Stunt Leaves Reality Star Wounded, Catering Table Dead
Pity poor New York — the downmarket reality-TV star, not the city — whose efforts to establish a legitimate acting career have found little yield thus far on New York Goes to Hollywood. Her painful, futile first-episode audition long behind her, the Flavor of Love/ I Love New York alumna (a/k/a Tiffany Pollard) moved on to a potentially huge commercial break last night only to melt down over a faulty prop. But as our mothers always reminded us: If it stings, that means it's healing, and her director's violent jump to her defense spurs a violent Japanese-language brawl suggesting New York may yet have a place at the table in Hollywood. Just not the craft-services table, which — SPOILER ALERT — sadly fares worst of all. Oh well — there's always Episode 4. [VH1] -
tiffany pollard
Vh1's Biggest Celebreality Star Desperately Seeks Manager, Pooper Scooper
While you might not recognize the name Tiffany Pollard, anyone who has followed Vh1's Celebreality franchises over the last three years certainly knows the name New York. After getting rebuffed by Flavor Flav on the first two installments of the gloriously trashy Flavor Of Love series, she became one of cable television's biggest stars when the premiere episode of I Love New York became the most-watched series premiere in the network's history. Now, having proved to be one of reality television's most resilient stars (along with Real World / Road Rules vets like Mark Long and Coral Smith), Tiffany "New York" Pollard is now attempting to be the first person since Real World: London's Jacinda Barrett to make the successful leap to silver screen stardom on her newest show, New York Goes To Hollywood. In the show's first episode, New York learns that, just like any other aspiring actor or actress, she needs to get herself a manager before she has the opportunity to show what she can do on the casting couch. Sadly, the monologue she delivered for a room full of low-level talent scouts — the kind that would have trouble scoring a table for 4 at the In-N-Out Burger — made Brian Atene look like Stanislavski's most prized pupil. Her poorly performed (yet hilariously overacted) riff on dog shit and public transportation awaits you after the jump. More » -
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bret michaels
Bret Michaels Set To Gift Third 'Rock Of Love' Soulmate With Future In MySpace Famewhoredom
Sometimes we don't know whether to thank VH1 for trying to "find true love" for washed up musicians or to strangle them for forcing us through yet another round of Bret Michaels: Rock Of Love (working title: Rock Of Love: Really, I'll Do Anyone At This Point). Yes, that sad series partially responsible for rendering all glass ceilings unbreakable is back and, this time, well, no, he's probably still not serious. Why so cynical? Well, his last "winner," 99-year old Chicago anchor chick Ambre Lake, lasted just under a day. But she did get the chance to really pimp her MySpace profile with dirty pics, exclamation mark-happy updates on Bret's CW appearances (!!!), and a heartfelt blog entry promising the "3rd time will be a charm!!!" Yes, spelling-challenged Ambre, we bet it will. You know, because this time, all the barely clothed contestants will be forced to live in...wait for it...the same tightly confined tour bus! If you don't smell love in the air, you've been dipping in to too many of these "ladies"' stashes: More » -
the brady bunch
A Very Brady Bitchfight
It’s always fun when a Shiny Happy People show like Full House, The Partridge Family or The Brady Bunch is unveiled as a breeding ground for future meth addicts, domestic abusers, and on-screen mother/son duos still bitchily feuding decades after their stars have burnt out. And the Brady cast is by far the most over-achieving bunch of fuck-ups to efficiently destroy any warm and fuzzy associations we may have had with that humorless bundle of 70s saccharine. Following Jan and Marsha’s fictional sibling rivalry leading to a non-fictional lesbian porn, little Cindy Brady showed up to a radio interview last week reeking of vintage wine and memories, excusing herself to vomit during commercial breaks. And now, reality trainwreck Christopher “Peter” Knight has taken down the last remaining beacon of Brady light, Florence Henderson, by involving the (until now) scandal-free actress in a messy online war of words: More » -
defamer
Summer Television Just Got A Whole Lot Skankier With The Debut Of 'I Love Money'
In a summer that's been largely bereft of tantalizing television moments (The Two Coreys notwithstanding), the premiere of Vh1's I Love Money has been shining like a beacon of bad taste on our horizons for some time. Conceived as the network's version of the now stagnant Real World / Road Rules Challenge franchise, I Love Money puts some of our favorite former contestants of dating shows like Flavor Of Love and I Love New York together in a villa to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real ... real drunk, that is. The show's first episode aired as a 90-minute special last night and, as expected, it blew our collective minds in the way it unabashedly celebrates the lowest of lowbrow culture. More » -
Class of 08
Gary Busey To Act As New 'Celebrity Rehab' Cast's Sherpa To Enlightenment
If you, like us, couldn't get enough of Celebrity Rehab—VH1's groundbreaking reality show born when it suddenly occurred to producers witnessing Brigitte Nielsen's umpteenth Strange Love blackout, "Hey—wait a second. Maybe we should get that woman some help...and film the entire thing!"—then you'll be thrilled to hear that the second batch of marginally famous in-patients are currently under Dr. Drew's care. Among this season's cast, the lovably problematic Jeff Conaway returns for another attempt at detox—and where Jeff goes, so too goes his demon-enabling succubus girlfriend Vicki. But there will be a whole slew of new faces, too, including—Higher-Power be with them—astonishingly sober life-coach, Gary Busey. From the press release: More » -
Fame Games
VH1 Rolls The Dice With New Unknown Actress Reality Show, But Does The 'I Wanna Be A Big Stah!' Format Work Anymore?
Here we go again! VH1 (who else?) has just greenlit Scream Queens, a reality show in which 10 unknown actresses desperate to be the next Jamie Lee Curtis or Janet Leigh will compete for a starring role in an upcoming “major” Lionsgate film. And boy are they excited — one Lionsgate rep tells THR that “discovering new talent is always exciting,” while another chimes in by teaching us that “VH1 has had a tremendous track record in launching alternative programming that captures viewers' imaginations.” Yes, yes it does! Our brains have been expanded by Viacom's ongoing carnival featuring women degrading themselves in hot tubs and music execs attempting to Make A Band, Any Band Will Do quarter after quarter. But with a reputable horror studio behind Scream Queens and the fact that scary movies have launched more than a few major careers, this one may put its You’re The One That I Want and It Factor predecessors to shame. We look back at five recent Next Big Thing reality shows in an effort to place our bets: More » -
Don't You Forget About Me
Vh1 Goes To The Has-Been Well Once Again For Upcoming 'Heartthrobs' Show
There is no point fighting it anymore. Vh1 will continue to produce shows featuring has-been stars from our youth and, like moths to the TV screen, we'll watch them cry, urinate on themselves and make out in hot tubs until the end of time. Their newest idea will feature (shocker!) Vh1 reality vet Scott Baio mentoring eight “male teen idols” of the 80s in an effort to jump-start a comeback. Since the sad little group has yet to be revealed, we went ahead and picked two former crushworthy picks we’d most like to see week after week, and the two who might force us to cancel our cable package altogether: More » -
stage moms
Stage Moms Successful At Sowing The Seeds Of Resentment
Some might say stage moms get a bad rap. They are, after all, represented by the likes of Dina Lohan, Lynne Spears and Joe Simpson (yes, we know Joe isn't technically a "mom", but we'll gladly take any opportunity to mock him that comes along). But as with so many stereotypes, there may be some real truth behind this one. For all three of you who've had the unfortunate experience of watching I Know My Kid's A Star on VH1, it's apparent that the behavior of real-life controlling, abusive and downright lock-up-worthy momagers makes those pictures of Dina and Lindsay downing Jack D. in their underwear look like a Norman Rockwell montage. Our Resident Videographer Wizardess Molly McAleer has taken the liberty of providing ten examples of what it takes to turn your bundle of joy into a self-hating, bratty little future drug user. Hint: Screaming helps a ton. [Vh1] More » -
defamer
Duo Responsible For Vh1's Celebreality Franchise Get Rewarded With A $200 Million Payday
It appears that Vh1 Celebreality masterminds 51 Minds Entertainment have ridden Flavor Flav all the way to the promised land. Variety reports that the reality television production company, led by Cris Abrego and Mark Cronin, has been purchased by Endemol USA (Big Brother, Deal Or No Deal) for $200 million plus. Cronin and Abrego, who are keenly aware that we're all nostalgic for conversations we had yesterday, are the brains behind has-been resurrection series The Surreal Life, and its seemingly endless chain of spinoffs (My Fair Brady, Strange Love, Flavor of Love — its subsequent spin-offs I Love New York and Charm School...). But what do they really have going for them? As Endemol president David Goldberg explains, a lot of it has to do with them not being named Ben Silverman or Mark Burnett:"It's very hard to find companies in the nonscripted space that are prolific creators and owners of content and whose last names don't begin with 'S' or 'B'."
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their love knows no bounds
Checking Back With The Cast Of 'Celebrity Rehab': No Deaths, And Some Sober Success Stories!
Last night was the Celebrity Rehab reunion show. Your at-a-glance scorecard: More » -
defamer
Did Vh1 Brass Kill Best Week Ever's 'Save Friday Night Lights' Campaign?
Less than two weeks ago, the staff of Bestweekever.tv put together a spirited and inventive internet campaign whose mission was to convince NBC not to cancel Friday Night Lights. By all accounts, it seemed to be working well; not only did it receive a healthy amount of press coverage, BWE.tv was able to convince over 10,000 people to sign an online petition to save the show. However, over the weekend, all mention of the campaign mysteriously disappeared from the site's homepage. So we decided to do some digging. More » -
defamer
'Free Radio' Sorely In Need Of Jack Bauer-Style Fatal Neck-Snappings To Liven Things Up
To be honest, we don't exactly "get" VH1's latest "comedy" Free Radio—it comes off like some ill-conceived, pitchroom fever dream in which network execs were somehow slipped peyote pills in their Diet Cokes before being sold on a cross between Yo on E! and The Office, as hosted by a young Gilbert Gottfried. Still, the show managed to score some impressive talent for the debut episode: More » -
hidden talents
'Celebrity Rehab' Stars Vikki & Kenickie Get Crunk Up On In This Dancerie
Celebrity Rehab fans have by now become more than acquainted with Jeff Conaway—who, since the departure of a cameraphone-diddling Daniel Baldwin, has become the de facto father figure to the youngster-addicts. They too have met succubus girlfriend Vikki, whose every visit to the Pasadena facility inevitably ends in tears, screaming, and at least one wheelchair flying through a plate-glass window. Such turbulence is often the way with deeply creative partnerships, however, and as a reader pointed out, the two are so much more than just self-perpetuating co-dependants: They're an aspiring hip-hop superduo! More » -
defamer
Dirty Texts, Smuggled Vodka, And Sober Chynas: Never A Dull 'Celebrity Rehab' Moment
We've already acknowledged our powerlessness over the reality drug that is VH1's Celebrity Rehab, so we're not even going to preface this with any sort of disclaimer: This shit's some high-grade, Z-list mess-amphetamine we're dealing in here, and we're proud to declare ourselves a bitch to its pipe. Where to start! Daniel dismissed himself from the program, for, as best as we can make out, sending (ballet-class enthusiast!) Mary Carey suggestive cellphone images of his little Baldwin—a scandal that quickly wreaked untold havoc on the carefully controlled atmosphere of their burnout biodome. Semi-regular series villain Vicki, who seems less a human than a relapse-hastening she-gremlin sent down to producers from story editor heaven, was caught smuggling vodka in via Vitamin Water bottle during a visit to Jeff. More » -
puking up demons
Bodily Expulsions Promised With Premiere Of VH1's 'Celebrity Rehab'
If there's any question as to why we've been eagerly anticipating Celebrity Rehab, the latest offering from VH1's Reality Department/ Non-Skank-Romance Division, since first being teased by footage of Jeff Conaway blowing a rail of fauxcaine, one need only take a look at this ABC News headline, which practically bullet-points every stage of Dr. Drew Pinsky's clinically-proven-to-induce-ratings 4-step program. (Mop-wielding orderlies are typically on high alert prior to Step 3.) Distancing himself from University of the Web-accredited quacks like Dr. Phil and other exploitative reality fare covering the same ground, Actual Medical Doctor Pinsky explains how his show is far more than just Celebrity Apprentice with piles of blow and a stocked bar (which, now that we mention it, would make Trump's show a lot more interesting): More » -
defamer
Larry The Cable Guy To Slide Down Basic Cable Chimney, Save Redneck Christmas
Though we'd feared that the writers strike would make the Yuletide TV schedule a mirthless, depressing affair, new hope has arrived in the form of a joyous press release from our friends at VH1. Christmas will be saved—we're sure of it—by the appearance of a sleeveless-vested Santa Claus on our television sets, who'll fill us with the spirit of the season by devouring the snacks of beef jerky and frosty cans of Miller Hi-Life some rosy-necked tykes have left upon their mantelshelf, belching out a rendition of "O Holy Night," and then disappearing up the chimney as a bellowed "GIT R DONE" reverberates through the house: More » -
defamer
VH1 executive Fred Graver, the Best Week Ever-birthing programmer responsible for realizing that the pop culture events of a single week could be obsessed over just as effectively as those occurring over an entire decade, is reportedly leaving the network. [Portfolio] -
defamer
Brad Pitt To Form Ab Dream Team With Mark Wahlberg
· It's a Hollywood abs-off! Extravagantly six-packed superstar Brad Pitt is in talks to replace Matt Damon and appear opposite famously washboarded former underwear model Mark Wahlberg in the Darren Aronofsky boxing drama The Fighter. Shirts will be doffed, and stomach muscles menacingly flexed! [Variety] More » -
defamer
Will Joan Rivers Terrorize Red Carpets For VH-1?
Many awards show viewers still long for the heyday of the late '90s, when unsuspecting stars would recoil in terror upon being accosted by Grand Frock Inquisitioner Joan Rivers, followed closely behind by loyal henchspawn Melissa, one finger held to her ear as she received instruction on the proper pronunciation of "Benicio Del Toro." Alas, after being bumped from their now-legendary E! gig, and banished from the TV Guide Channel kingdom for rumored "difficult" behavior, the only place Emmy watchers can turn these days for a Rivers fix is online, at VH1's Emmys With Joan. Gold Derby's Tom O'Neil wonders if the pair's seemingly shameful banishment to the slums of the blogowebs doesn't perhaps bode well, suggesting the network might take a short break from finding Flavor Flav the skank of his dreams to secure Joan and Melissa a spot on the red carpet: More » -
trade roundup
Trade Round-Up: Damon And Wahlberg, Together Again
· Paramount will enable the on-screen reunion of The Departed's Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon, who will star as pugilism-loving, Massachusetts-native half-brothers Micky and Dicky Ward in the boxing drama The Fighter (if they like the script), though it's unclear from the story which actor will be the "Rocky-like" boxing champion and which the "boxer-turned-trainer who rebounded in life after nearly being KO'd by drugs and crime." [Variety] More » -
vh1
Is VH1's Rock Lothario Lying About His Age?
Yesterday, we posted the casting call for VH1's latest bimbos-on-parade show, which advertised the chance to get down and dirty with "one of the '90s HOTTEST ROCKERS." But we've received multiple tips that the frontman in question is actually Bret Michaels of Poison—a band that is not only forever entwined with the '80s, but whose '90s studio output is equivalent to that of Guns N' Roses. Congratulations, VH1—if this is true, you're even more shameless than we thought you were. We can't wait until it's revealed that the show is actually called I Want Action. [Idolator] -
vh1
Mystery '90s Frontman Gets Ready To Shed Clothing, Decency For VH1
Now that VH1 Classic is pillaging the 1990s' video archives, it only makes sense that the next reality-romance trainwreck on its sister network will feature a rock star from that decade. We came across the following casting call today: [Idolator] -
trade roundup
Trade Round-Up: Disney Takes Over Your iPod
In an announcement that surprised approximately no one, Apple reveals that it will offer full-length Disney movies in the iTunes store. Equally unsurprising is Steve Jobs' desire to sell you a slightly improved video iPod on which to view your newly downloaded movies. [Variety] More » -
vh1
VH1 Gives Tom Sizemore A Chance To Implode On Basic Cable
Profoundly disappointed that the pressure of being under the 24-hour surveillance of their Celebreality cameras did not induce an onscreen Danny Bonaduce suicide, a desperate VH1 is pinning all of its crazy hopes of capturing a celebrity time-bomb's final, self-annihilating act on Tom Sizemore, an actor whose troubles are so legendary that Nick Nolte's face involuntarily twitches at the very mention of his name. Reports Variety: More » -
reality tv
'Flavor of Love 2' Puts New Spin On Contestant Eliminations
Flavor of Love 2 premieres this Sunday, wherein VH1 gathers a bevy of the finest streetwalking psychotics to vie for the romantic attentions of hip-hop relic/chronographic accessorizer Flavor Flav. Watch in amazement as the reality show ritual of haggling over beds quickly escalates into a weave-pulling/ bitch-slapping fiasco. According to RealityBlurred.com, however, there are even bigger, messier surprises in store this season, such as the misadventures of the contestant we'll dub Bachelorette Number Two: More » -
vh1
The Search Is On For America's Next Top Rapping Honky
The people who brought you America's Next Top Model are hoping to recapture some of that "bitch poured beer on my weave!" lightning in a bottle with their next reality competition, VH1's The White Rapper Show. The series will pit the best and brightest of the nations' cornrowed Caucasian wannabes against each other in a search for the next great hip-hop cracker superstar: More » -
tori spelling
Introducing The 'So Notorious' Sidewalk Vandalism Tracker
We recently noted so noTORIous, VH1's sparkling showcase for Tori Spelling's many comic gifts, had taken to decorating our city's sidewalks with perma-bonding stickers touting the series. We threw it out to our dependable readers to send in photos of the adhesive eyesores, and, sure enough, the photos and their locations have started to come in. Here's the latest sighting:
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