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Kell on Earth: For Whom the Kell Tolls

Brian Moylan — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:17:21 EST

We were so busy buying bread and toilet paper for the impending snowstorm that we missed Kell on Earth last night. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there during the filming, so she filled us on what happened.

Undercover Boss: Advertainment's Fourth Wave

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:25:45 EST

So we assume you saw Undercover Boss last night, CBS' big new reality show that got the plum post-Super Bowl spot? Amazing, was it not? Televised entertainment has now completed its long, winding journey into becoming 100% corporate propaganda.

Five Actors Who Almost Made It and the Long Road Back

Richard Lawson — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:37:19 EST

Reading about the comeback struggle of American Beauty weirdo Wes Bentley yesterday got us thinking about other youngish, once-promising stars who made a big initial splash and then mostly disappeared. Let's give some career advice to Bentley and four others.

Big Love: Sweating It Out

Richard Lawson — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:26:00 EST

The fourth season of HBO's sweeping melodrama was brought down to Earth a bit this week, even though the beginning of the episode seemed like an overstuffed Robert Altman movie.

Real Housewives of Orange County: Marriage, Californian Style

Richard Lawson — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:54:00 EST

If you've ever been to one of those awful gator parks in Florida, the ones off the highway, then you've seen this show before: A bunch of ancient scaly things laying about, moving only occasionally to viciously snap at something.

Fanookers and Doormats: Sprucing Up TV's Gay Characters

Richard Lawson — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 15:45:18 EST

AfterElton put together a sadly hopeful little roundup of "gay" TV pilots currently in various stages of development today. It got us thinking about the current slate of gay folks on TV, and wishing for some new variations.

The Real World: An Inquest into the Wasting of Perfectly Good Pizza

Brian Moylan — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:29:17 EST

This is a transcript from a hearing of the Senate Pizza Responsibility Committee for an inquest into the wasting of two whole pies at a residence at 2000 S St, NW in Washington, D.C. The honorable Senator Joeseph Lieberman presiding.

American Idol: Hollywood Ho

Richard Lawson — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 11:45:00 EST

Well gang, we did it. We got through a month of auditions episodes. Many of us died, even more of us are injured or dying, but we've struggled across the finish line and next week will taste glorious Hollywood.

The Most Desperate Fake Celebrity Quotes Ever

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:48:14 EST

Would two posts in one day about the comically atrocious PR work of 5WPR be too many? Yes. Too bad. We are obligated—if only as a cautionary tale—to bring you these examples of 5W's incompetent manufactured celebuquotes.

American Idol: Mile-High Shitty

Richard Lawson — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:33:00 EST

Twas our penultimate tale of auditions on Idol last night, and yet again a woeful menagerie of lost souls flitted across our screens, floating through the thin air of Denver like warbling cowboy ghosts.

Lost WTF Moment of the Week: Where You Goin', John Locke?

Richard Lawson — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 10:33:37 EST

SPOILER ALERT, OK? Our pick for last night's most befuddling and intriguing moment was John Locke, or whoever that is these days — Evil Man in Black — telling Ben that he wants to "go home."

Everything That's Happened on Lost So Far, Just from Memory

Richard Lawson — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 15:41:36 EST

Lost is so confusing! But not that confusing. Here I will try to write, from memory without using any wikis, fan sites or Google, everything important that's happened on the show up to tonight's final-season premiere. Wish me luck.

Kell on Earth: Under the Gaydar

Brian Moylan — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 12:14:08 EST

We were too dumbstruck by Glenn Close's reconstructed face on Damages to watch the premiere of Kell on Earth. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was working as an undercover intern for Kelly Cutrone during filming. Here is her full report.

Blind Sided: Your Oscar Nominations Are In

Richard Lawson — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 08:54:10 EST

Well, not your nominations. But you know what we mean. Anne Hathaway and her good friend Old Dude delivered the shimmering news just minutes ago.

The Cable Movie Rewatchability Index

Brian Moylan — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:51:11 EST

With cable TV rerunning our favorite movies at a vicious rate, it is hard to determine whether or not one should give up two hours to the cable gods. Finally, we have a handy formula to help us decide.

Forecasting the Oscar Nominations: All Tomorrow's Snubs

Richard Lawson — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:17:38 EST

Tomorrow is Gay Christmas Eve, with Oscar nominations announced in the ayem, setting hearts aflutter and sending visions of sugarplum fairy Hugh Jackman dancing through heads. We have a good idea of who will be nominated, but who should be?