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mini guides
All the Summer TV You'll Need to Watch
Summer is basically here. Your kids are more wild-eyed by the day, that tiny swimsuit seems tinier and tinier, and the television has begun to fizzle and fall quiet. Except it doesn't have to! There's so much summer television to be watched and absorbed. Why, enough for a listicle, even. More »
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Comment by ediebeale: They're never going to deal with Joan's rape. You still Joan is suddenly gonna prosecute? Not a cliffhanger! Just sad. And... 8 Responses | Other threads
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top chef
Ousted 'Top Chef' Contestant Feels He Was Treated Like A Broken Down Piece Of Hunky Filet Mignon
Interviewed today by People, last night's Top Chef casualty [spoiler alert!] Jeff McGinnes had some choice shit-talking words for head judge Tom Colicchio, before suggesting the show portrayed him as a shirt-a-phobic "sex object." More »
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By SethComment by ArtfulSlinger: Maybe he if he wasn't schtooping Radika the whole time, the producers might have had more respect for him. 5 Responses | Other threads
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top chef
Hunkiest 'Top Chef' Elimination Ever Spares Fake-Italian, Scars Prettyboy For Life
On last night's Top Chef Super Bowl All-Star Face-Off Synergistic Cross-Promotion Can-We-Fit-Quaker-Oats-in-There-Somehow Extravaganza, the surviving chefs of Season 5—a group we find ourselves strangely attached to—were forced to cook head-to-head with past Chef contestants. More »
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By SethComment by Seth: They've been accused of product-placement shark-jumping since season one. It's part of the animal--you either roll with it or not.... 3 Responses | Other threads
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short ends
Listening To Stars Of 'XXX Facts Of Life' Makes You Dumber: Study
· We really don't know what ET expected to get out of this interview with the stars of a porn version of Facts of Life, but we'll just consider ourselves lucky we never got to meet Mrs. Garrett and Jo. More »
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By SethComment by Nefilim: Why is everyone trying to mainstream porn? 4 Responses | Other threads
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marcel vigneron
'Top Chef' Star Marcel Busted For Driving Under the Influence of Cooking Sherry
Though any avid Top Chef viewer knows that the quickest way to get a thumbs-up from judge Padma Lakshmi is to appeal to her love of alcohol, it seems that one former contestant can outdo even Padma when it comes to his appreciation for the hooch. Yes, Wolverine-resembling Season 2 runner-up Marcel Vigneron has been busted by the Laguna Beach PD, who found him driving erratically while tequila-infused saliva foam dribbled from the corner of his mouth. Says the OC Register: More »
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Comment by kookla: I hear you can also make some good vodka in jail using urine and toilet water. 1 Responses | Other threads
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Annals Of Incoherent Acceptance Speeches
Bravo's Presentation Of The A-List Awards Now Pauses Briefly For Lauren Hutton To Lose Her Mind
Held last night in New York and scheduled to air next Thursday, Bravo's A-List Awards are billed as a night celebrating "the best in Food, Fashion, Beauty, Design and Weatherman Lap-Dance Dispensation." BravoTV.com has already started building buzz by leaking highlights online, including Lauren Hutton acceptance speech for a "beauty icon" award. In it, she first admits to having been "up for 46 hours," before launching into a stream-of- sleep- deprived-consciousness which encompassed, in no particular order, her thoughts of guacamole-preparation, the ozone layer, and the promiscuity-engendering properties of testosterone. So confounding was her monologue that during the commercial break, it took the combined efforts of Tom Colicchio, Santino Rice, and Carson Kressley just to pry apart the paralyzed furrows in a deeply perplexed Tim Gunn's brow. [BravoTV.com]
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By SethComment by unclevanya: @TheQuestion: Just one more thing to blame SATC for... more » | Other threads
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economics
How Reality Television Will Get Even Cheaper
Television networks, still reeling from strike-related ratings slips, have gone and broken the glass on their last-resort failsafe. They're cutting costs on reality shows. Executives are looking to further streamline the already seductively cheap 'n easy (that's why there are so many of 'em!) younger siblings of scripted programming by cutting down on non-studio filming and long editing times. Expect more shows, like the odious hit game show Moment of Truth (where contestants reveal terrible secrets while drooling for cash), that really only amount to "two people sitting in chairs onstage." More expensive reality shows like Hell's Kitchen need to be overseas hits before American networks will consider producing their own versions, which doesn't happen every day. What could this mean for reality favorites like Top Chef, Project Runway, and America's Next Top Model? We have some grim forecasts after the jump.
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short ends
'Project Runway':There Will Be Tears
By now, we've all heard the news that Project Runway is headed to Lifetime. In advance of the 2009 launch, Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer has crafted a touching look at the subtle ways in which the show will change when it leaves its current home on the Bravo Network. Here's a hint: keep a box of tissues nearby. [Molls She Wrote] More »
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By Mark GrahamComment by MissFiFi: I am really not sure how to react or get past that Posh photo except to say "Woof" more » | Other threads
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defamer
Project Runway's Jack Mackenroth Pledges To Take Good Care Of Potential Boyfriend Dale Levitski
News that Bravo's kissing reality cousins Dale Levitski and Jack Mackenroth are dating has spread across the internets like wildfire, conjuring heartwarming domestic scenes involving Dale asking Jack to taste his lamb jus, as Jack measures Dale's inseam for a pair of stripey trousers that will eventually find their way beneath the couple's shared Hanukkah Bush. Not everyone is wholeheartedly in favor of the union, however, as some fans have already registered concern that the openly HIV-positive Runway contestant might put the status-indeterminate Dale in danger, a matter Mackenroth addresses in a statement posted to his blog today: More » -
love
'Runway' Jack And 'Chef' Dale Trying To Make Love Work
The sprouting of a new relationship is always a precarious matter, so it's with a measure of reluctance that we pass along news that Top Chef runner-up Dale Levitski has found in Project Runway's Jack Mackenroth a comrade-in-hunky-arms—someone to curl up with on a bearskin rug on cold winter nights and exchange Padma/Heidi horror stories. Having unwittingly signed a contract that forced them to disclose every intra-network sexual liaison from now until death, Bravo's even-gayer internet arm (if one could even conceive of such a thing) Outzone.com has the saucy scoop: More » -
defamer
If Only There Were Some Easy Joke To Be Made About Top Chef's Hung Getting An Erection
Sharp-eyed observers may have noticed there was a brief shot of current Top Chef winner Hung jumping out of bed in his boxer shorts during the reunion special that aired on Wednesday. We sent the video to the Defamer Institute of Priapic Analysis, and the results have come back, proving conclusively that the speedy chef doesn't just have a cocky personality, he also has a...well, you get the idea. Click the censored photo after the jump for the full Hung experience. More » -
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By MarkComment by Trixie from Toronto: @HwoodHills: Tapestry? No -- it was the first Fleetwood Mac album and Boz Skaags's Silk Degrees! Even I am too young... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Andy Cohen Defends Bravo's Anti-Hanky-Panky Policies
The New York cover story about former Bravo contestants contained a great many shocking revelations about life after reality TV—for example, that Project Runway's first winner Jay McCarroll is currently homeless* (we blame his McDonald's Archcards dress for Kelis), that the mystery of "Where's Andrae?" has finally been solved (he wound up back at Disney Hall, waiting tables), and that Runway Season 3 standout crackpot Vincent Libretti was last seen wandering naked near a Santa Monica laundromat, holding a placard warning passers-by to the impending "Blogspots Armageddon." More »
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By SethComment by Victor Ward: Wait, wait, wait. Didn't Andy write a blog a while ago about Daniel V (sigh, I live for him) and... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Age-inappopriate trophy spouse/Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi dumps fatwa-surviving sugar daddy Salman Rushdie. [Reuters]
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short ends
Short Ends: Scorsese's Favorite Letter
· The Film Experience blog compiles a list of people you're probably going to be pretty sick of by the end of 2007. More » -
reality tv
FoodandWine.com's Tries To Uncollapse Their Fallen 'Top Chef' Finale Souffle
Yesterday, we guided you to an Eater LA post about how Food & Wine magazine had accidentally published a feature spoiling the winner of Season 2 of Top Chef, the results of which were supposed to be kept a secret until tomorrow's finale. Today, F&W's website posted an announcement claiming they had "prepared profiles of both Top Chef finalists in advance of the last episode so that we had a story on the winner ready to publish immediately after the season finale." You'd think Bravo would keep F&W more in the loop than the rest of the general population, but no matter: What follows is two stories, one about each of the show's finalists, Marcel Vigneron and Ilan Hall. We're still not going to be the ones to tell you whose appeared yesterday, and whose was probably filed at 4 a.m. by an annoyed junior staffer forced into the cover-up activity after editorial fielded several hysterical calls from Bravo execs insisting, "We don't care how the fuck you fix it, you recipe-filing morons, just fix it—unless you want to hear the words 'Top Chef 3: Brought to you by Bon Appétit' in your future!" If you read them both, however, be warned: It becomes overwhelmingly obvious which feels authentic and which feels desperately slapped together—almost as obvious as the gag-reflex-inducing qualities of a chocolate-covered chicken liver. More »
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By SethComment by LagunaBitch: How cheesy. They even copied the sub-header announcing each as a winner. Oh and bitfactory, it's actually quite rewarding holding the... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Dinner Is Ruined: 'Food & Wine' Spoils The 'Top Chef' Surprise
As Padma Lakshmi reminds us in her torpid speech patterns at the beginning of every Top Chef, the winner is awarded "$100,000 in seed money" (which, presumably, might also be spent on any other herbs, seasonings, or condiments of their choice), and a feature in Food & Wine magazine. Between 3 p.m. and 3:15 p.m. today on Food & Wine's website, that article, entitled, "Bravo's New Top Chef Tells All," accidentally went live, thus spoiling the outcome of a particularly engrossing season that came down to the final pairing of Marcel "The Hip-Hop Outcast" Vigneron, and his chief adversary, Ilan "Marcel's a virgin, everybody! Look at Marcel cook his virgin food! Ha ha!" Hall. We daren't reveal the outcome, but for those of you who simply cannot wait, Eater LA is happy to spoil it for you, with a post featuring the full text of the article. All you have to do is click here. More » -
defamer
Bravo's Andy Cohen One Step Closer To A Dream
Blogging Bravo executive Andy Cohen's new web-based kaffeeklatsch, Watch What Happens, premiered last night after a particularly dramatic episode of Top Chef, in which misunderstood foam-making genius Marcel Vigneron was [spoiler!] overpowered by unfortunately named fellow contestant Cliff Crooks in a forced-head-shaving prank gone horribly wrong (in that Marcel's Wolverine do emerged relatively intact). Instantly, Cohen—until now a notoriously reclusive, outspoken voice of the blogowaves—was catapulted into the upper echelons of video podcast notoriety, thusly bringing him one step closer to his goal of mainstream celebrity, and possibly even becoming the new face of Lancôme. More »
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By SethComment by Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.: I'm glad he's finally getting his due, that hard-working blogowaver! more » | Other threads
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short ends
Short Ends: Top Chefs Not So Hot For Padma
· Top Chef's chefs don't seem to be huge fans of host Padma Lakshmi. Can't they see how hot she is, and that makes her feelings on anything automatically valuable? More »
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By MarkComment by raincoaster: They lifted the fatwa, and that's when he got the Padma. And, from what I hear, anyone else handy after... more » | Other threads
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bravo
Katie Lee Joel Among 'Top Chef''s Canned Goods
Bravo managed to take all the elements that worked so well for Project Runway, and reapply them to the world of food for Top Chef. Aspiring designers becamed cooks, dresses became dishes, runways became table tops, and robotic host Heidi Klum became robotic host Katie Lee Joel, Billy Joel's lovelydaughterwife. And while Klum's stiffly delivered challenge instructions and "auf wiedersehen" contestant kiss-offs somehow always worked for Runway, Joel never quite managed to muster the spice required from a host of a dishy, backstabbing series set almost entirely in the kitchen. The Televisionary blog now reports that she won't be coming around for second helpings: More »
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By SethComment by Rick Dobbs: Damn, she *was* cute. But man she killed me when she talked. I'd like to see someone unknown... more » | Other threads
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