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Pop Culture Aneurysm
Bret Easton Ellis Thinks The Hills Is "A Modern Masterpiece"
So: Bret Easton Ellis is on the cover of expensive Amsterdam-based magazine Fantastic Man, drinking a Diet Coke. In it, he calls the soul-sucking experience that is The Hills "the greatest show that I have ever seen in my life."
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By Foster KamerComment by naboo: This is all true. The magazine is also A MONTH old. Slow Sunday? 3 Responses | Other threads
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generations
The Youngs Will Destroy the Hills They Created
And you thought all teens and twentysomethings were shallow wastoids. Turns out they hate The Hills and other muck same as you. At least execs at MTV are hoping that's true, as they've just completely restructured based on that assumption.
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Comment by Conchie Birdie: 16 and pregnant was a little too sad for my taste. I think they need to find a happy medium... 3 Responses | Other threads
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hills 3:16
The Passion Of The Hills: What's Next For Lauren And Speidi
While Lauren Conrad tries to leverage her Hills fame into a "writing" career, Heidi and Spencer have already found their next costar: God. [Jezebel]
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By Anna N.Comment by I stole you prozac: Constructive criticism: Try posting about Hills related individuals less often. I love this site, but inwardly groan when I... 9 Responses | Other threads
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Trapezoid Of Lies
Heidi Pratt's 'Hospitalization' Is One Giant Reality TV Mess
Heidi Pratt was rushed to a hospital in Costa Rica last night for some kind of stomach infection while filming/quitting I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Our source calls the entire thing out. More »
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By Foster KamerComment by matildalee: I. Hate. Them. So. Much. It's beyond rational. I would seriously throw a punch if I saw them on the street. 4 Responses | Other threads
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recaps
The Hills: The Death and Birth of Lauren Conrad
Well that, I guess, is it. The last we'll see of old Lauren "LC" Conrad on The Hills, the reality dynasty that she helped build with her own two well-groomed hands. How did it all go down? Well, like any good comedy, it ended with a wedding. More »
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Comment by Pope John Peeps II: Not to pedant all over your clever title Richard, but it's "The Death and LIFE" 4 Responses | Other threads
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pot texting the kettle
Paris Hilton Inadvertently Describes Self When Trying to Trash Talk The Hills
This is the biggest story yet to come rumbling out of the gate on this dreary Thursday. Paris Hilton, known reality TV empress and dater of Hills castoff Doug "the Frozen Burrito Heir" Reinhardt (LC totally dumped him!), has taken the show to task for being "fake" and "lame." Hm. More »
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Comment by heywhat: Never seen it huh? But yet she knows it's fake and lame? Hmmmhmmm... 2 Responses | Other threads
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recaps
The Hills: Love Means Having to Grudgingly Say You're Sorry
The pen is indeed mightier! In fact, the pen is ultimate. Which is to say, last night was the second-to-last episode of The Hills this season, calloo callay. As any good second-to-last episode is, it was all setup for the dramatic finale next week. So let's sift through the setup. More »
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Comment by SanchaliLazork: Richard, not to poke holes in your re-cap, but you do realize that wedding invitations are traditionally SUPPOSED to be... 6 Responses | Other threads
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recaps
The Hills: Steve Martin Shoots Spencer Pratt In the Face
The Hills has fallen victim to the recession. Yes, a single job loss has swept the dusty mounds, and, presumably, has blown over the actual hills as well. We weep for Handbags, deprived of employ. More »
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Comment by The Default Attorney: I liked the part where fleshbeard and mad dog serenaded each other: 1 Responses | Other threads
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miracles
The Dark Lord of Laguna Beach Slouches Toward The Hills
I am of course referring to Kristin Cavallari, Lauren Conrad's arch nemesis. Now that LC is leaving the reality show she built with meek facial expressions, MTV has tapped the villainess to do 10 episodes. More »
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Comment by dandles: Lauren Conrad is an IDIOT to leave the Hills. Exactly one second later, she's going to realize her 15... 4 Responses | Other threads
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recaps
The Hills: The Trip to Satan's Dungeon
That wisp dancing up into the azure sky isn't smoke from the Fire of Santa Barbara. No, it's bits of the dearly departed soul of Spencerina, fleeting up to heaven to make handbags with God. More »
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Comment by jonasstalk: Richard has become a self-indulgent bore. Satire is supposed to be witty. 4 Responses | Other threads
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recaps
The Hills: The Week 'Skankily' Entered the Lexicon
Richard is off tra-la-la-ing through Paris this week and for some reason MTV still decided to air an episode of The Hills. Guest recapping the MTV abomination is hero Megan Kustra. Be nice to her. More »
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By Megan KustraComment by Calraigh: Yeah, if someone who weighs 90 pounds drank a bottle of Jaeger I'm pretty sure you'd be a)dead, b) sort... 3 Responses | Other threads
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recaps
The Hills: Each and Every One a Virgin
Go tell Isabella Rossellini that we've found the saddest music in the world. It's the sound of a dozen idiots chirping on The Hills. Last night, there was bible study. On The Hills. Religion! More »
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Comment by EleanorRigby: Colby's gf: So Heidi, your mom showed me pictures of you in high school, and you looked REALLY DIFFERENT. Heidi: blank... 5 Responses | Other threads
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moments
The Worst Picture Ever Taken Is Also Sort of the Best One
Oh, hello. You wanted to see a picture of disgraced Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich standing in a fake forest with Heidi and Spencer from The Hills, right? Oh good, because we have one. More »
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Comment by Kittens are Furever: I think Heidi is wearing one of her pieces from her Heidi-Wood collection. I have that same piece. 6 Responses | Other threads
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reality tv
David Letterman's Underminey Digs at Lauren Conrad
Lauren Conrad's most recent and, let's face it, quite possibly last appearance on the Late Show was an odd cocktail of passive-aggressive barbs and ribald, lusty commentary from host David Letterman. More »
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By Ryan TateComment by Joewithanl: Of all the people to make fun of from the Hills, he chooses LC? LC is the only thing on... 4 Responses | Other threads
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recaps
The Hills: Working Hard to Make a Better World for None of Us
In 1974, the great Studs Terkel published Working: People Talk About What They Do All Day and How They Feel About What They Do. In 2009, Handbags Pratt, an idiot gypsy, finally went to work. More »
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Comment by Proofer3: She doodles when here superior is talking and then says Ï'm not good at confrontation."???????? You need to improve on how... more » | Other threads
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recaps
The Hills: The Long, Slow Death of Heidi & Spencer
What drama! What intrigue! What mystery! What emotion! Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about my trip home for Easter. Now where were we? Oh, right. The Hills. Yes. Spencer and Heidi are no more. More »
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Comment by SylviaPlathWasFramed: Spencer looks like he's been basted in gravy. Why so shiny, mister? 2 Responses | Other threads
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open caption
Happy Easter
[Those things Heidi and Spencer from "The Hills" film the lady thing's new music video, surrounded by paps, in LA; image via Splash] -
recaps
The Hills: Things To Do With Lauren Conrad When She's Dead
Well, here it is. It's back. The Hills swooped overhead last night—two episodes worth!—like some dark angel of the sparkly rapture. It's good to know your enemy, so let's analyze after the jump. More »
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Comment by WoodrowHespera: richard, get over yourself. however sarcastic, you're not convincing anybody that you actually hate the show when you write 2,000... 14 Responses | Other threads
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trade roundup
When TV Stars Ruled the Earth
Cannibals will soon roam the earth, as will comedians. Jennifer Aniston and dogs are Mother Nature's favorite creations. Audrina Patridge will never, ever die. Your in-town-for-pilot-season friend will never, ever leave. More »
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Comment by WindowSeat: Battle Royale has set the bar pretty high for Teenage Fight To The Death flicks. 1 Responses | Other threads
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open caption
"Is This the Line for the Space Launch?"
[Audrina Patridge of "The Hills" at LAX today; image via Bauer-Griffin] -
the hills
In Spencer Pratt fistfight, wrong person loses. [Star]
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nsfw
Devastated Whitney Port Apologizes For Bikini-Ravaging Natural Disaster
Days after nature's wrath laid waste to Whitney Port's two-piece — on camera, natch — the City star expressed regret for the tragedy's rippling cultural impact. The NSFW wreckage follows the jump. More »
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By STVComment by Tiger_Tanaka: Everybody on this show is a mic'd boob. 1 Responses | Other threads
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Crosspromotion
Heidi, Spencer, and Kim Kardashian To Guest Star On 'How I Met Your Famewhore'
As Fox Studios throws its enthusiastic support behind How I Met Your Mother by tripling its stars' salaries, the laugh track-enhanced CBS sitcom returns to the tabloid slophouse for some ratings-goosing stunt-casting.
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By SethComment by logicalnoise: I also ripped on this show a lot. but after watching dr horrible 5 times over I needed to check... more » | Other threads
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the hills
MTV Finds No Ratings Gold In Them Thar 'Hills' Spinoffs
MTV recently announced that the network would emphasize shows featuring "affirmation and accomplishment." This is why it launched new programs yesterday featuring testosterone-ridden douchenozzles and a girl who doesn't work. So how did they fare?
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Comment by checkyaself: You guys want Jenner off the air but what are you doing about "Mystery" The Pick Up Artist? Will he... more » | Other threads
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recessionomics
The Great Celebrity Appearance Fee Depression
Celebrities have fallen on hard times! They can't subsidize their sad lives with appearance fees anymore. We just received a long list of pseudo-celebs looking for work. Let us share the names with you. More »
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Comment by leonleonleon: No joke - trying to sublet a room in my apartment, a recent Real World (not Brooklyn!) cast member sent... 11 Responses | Other threads
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altered realities
How Fake Is The City, And Why Do We Care?
The Hills spinoff The City — premiering tonight on MTV — "documents" Whitney Port's new job, BF, and life in the city. As per the format, the lines between reality and reality TV are blurred. [Jezebel]
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By TracieComment by hortense: Does she step in at least one puddle of urine, vomit, spit, gum, or spilled ice cream cone while descending... 11 Responses | Other threads
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the hills
Tom Cruise Gives Spencer Pratt Some Stepford Wife Maintenance Tips
Though we can hardly wrap our brains around the fact that after the jump, a video exists of Tom Cruise giving wedding advice to Spencer Pratt, we have to admit it makes a certain amount of cosmic sense. After all, both the actor and the Hills villain found glassy-eyes brides who were willing to make themselves over for their man. Sure, in Katie Holmes's case, the transformation made her into an unlikely fashion plate, while in Heidi Montag's, it turned her into a demented aerobicizer with large hard hats stapled to her breastplate, but no matter! Wait, where were we? Ah, yes: Tom Cruise. Spencer Pratt. Brother to brother. NSFL (Not Safe For Life).
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Comment by Wrapitup: I pity the fool that wants advice from Tom Cruise. 2 Responses | Other threads
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the hills
Why Does MTV Still Pretend That the 'Hills' Girls Go to Work?
A frequent viewer of The Hills once explained it to us as "Professional wrestling, but for women. You know it's fake, but you want to keep up with the storylines anyway." Perhaps that's why MTV continues to ignore the actual, tabloid-documented reality of what has happened to its successful stars in favor of an increasingly more laughable alternate universe where all four women are still struggling 9-to-5ers. Today brought two more examples of their tomfoolery:
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Comment by ge90036: Please, please, please Defamer. Enough with these junky sluts! I can't take it anymore. I mean, seriously... look at the... 2 Responses | Other threads
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the hills
The Horror: The Hills continues to rapidly spin off any supporting character with a hint of intelligence, and so it is that incredibly fearsome People's Revolution head Kelly Cutrone will be getting her own series, produced by Project Runway refugee company Magical Elves. "Think of it as The Wizard of Oz meets Stephen King meets Rhoda," explained Cutrone. That's the doomsday logline spirit, Kel! [Page Six] -
the hills
Heidi's Mom: Spencer Drugs Her!
Terrible lovebirds Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are capable of making no move without a cannery-level of fishiness (and paparazzi present, of course), and so it is with their Mexico wedding, which has since been revealed as the legally unbinding publicity stunt that, rather than being beneath the couple, represents the absolute apex of their combined powers. Still, Heidi's mother Darlene is not having it, and she's come out swinging in Us with some wild allegations about Spencer's Svengali-like hold on her daughter. But is it all part of the plan? Let's find out:
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Comment by taraniso: Love the way Heidi's holding that dull handbag into the foreground (product placement, much?). And by saying "dull handbag" I... 1 Responses | Other threads
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twilight
Audrina Patridge Cracking the Books For 'Twilight' Sequel Audition
Foreseeing a day when curtailed Hills shooting leaves her without anybody to antagonize, or maybe just catching a faint whiff of those $12 million salaries (or something else) around the corner, Audrina Patridge is angling to join the Twilight revolution. The starlet tells MTV today that, like, hell yeah she's a fan of the vampire novels and their blockbuster movie adaptation, and she's in for the sequels. Just as soon as she's invited: More »
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By STVComment by jwick25: Was one of the vampires feeding on her arm? 2 Responses | Other threads
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spencer pratt
Unholy Unions: When we heard today that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt had gotten married, we knew there would be pictures, and we had only one question: did Spencer shave off his abominable snowbeard for the wedding? As revealed by this cover of Us Weekly, no, he did not! The magazine and Life & Style are both reporting that Montag's parents were less than thrilled that their daughter went ahead and got married without her family present. Settle down, Montags: we're sure the dynamic duo is planning a second, blowout wedding at Les Deux as we speak. Will Lauren crash the ceremony to object? Will Brody Jenner be "best bro"? So many questions, so few cumulative brain cells. [Us]
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Comment by Miss d: "The minute we said our vows, I couldn't stop crying" oh, those tears won't stop - becuase you're a talentless... more » | Other threads
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heidi montag
Heidi and Spencer Consummate Mutual Love of Attention with Mexico Marriage
A hearty, icky round of Defamer congratulations to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, whose coupled-up villainy on The Hills finally culminated with an actual marriage this past week in Mexico. Though the fifteen-minute ceremony was supposedly hatched on the spur of the moment, at least Montag and Pratt had on hand something borrowed (time), and something new (her breasts). Few details have emerged yet, but we'd like to believe the bride wore vintage Ed Hardy and walked down the sandy aisle to her own, Autotune-d rendition of "Here Comes the Bride" (featuring T-Pain). People has the story: More »
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Comment by taco-flavored-kisses: Dear GOD! Why is that boy's face so incredibly unproportional to the size of his head!? 2 Responses | Other threads
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midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Brangeliniston Vs. Twilight
If it's Wednesday, this must be Midweek Madness, in which we devour the celebrity tabloids with a hunger for "news." There's no new issue of OK! today, because last week was a "double issue"... not that we noticed. As for the other mags, it was almost a Brangeliniston sweep this week, with Brad and Jennifer on three of four covers, sometimes joined by Angelina. Only Life & Style bucked the trend, for a new trend: a story featuring the stars of Twilight. Does it matter that the article has zero substance? Only the newsstand sales will tell! Intern Margaret was stuck on a train for an hour and a half, hence this delayed — but incredibly informative — edition of Midweek Madness… We're all aboard Life & Style, In Touch, Us and Star, after the jump.
[Jezebel]
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By DodaiComment by Mafalda para Presidente: s Twlght gd? 'm llrgc t mst chck lt nd sppy nvls, s hvn't cnsdrd rdng thm. ... 22 Responses | Other threads
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the hills
Audrina Patridge Risks Underexposure as MTV Crews Tossed From Neighborhood
Civil war is stirring near Audrina Patridge's plush new Hollywood Dell redoubt, where the MTV crews following her every supple, dignified move has drawn outrage from neighbors insisting that the city regulate nearby shooting shooting on The Hills. And after hearing the residents' appeal, the Los Angeles film office has in fact interceded to bring you less Audrina from the comfort of her own home — marking a small victory for a tormented community under siege, and possibly marking the West Coast front in America's burgeoning Hills defensive. More »
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By STVComment by tmp00: I think the residents of Orange Grove should hang the whole cast in effigy. Take the heat off those... 1 Responses | Other threads
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david letterman
David Letterman Stages a Lauren Conrad Intervention
On The Hills, Lauren Conrad can usually end an awkward situation by staring into the middle distance as the Black-Eyed Peas take us to commercial, but on last night's Late Show, she had to simply sit there and take it as David Letterman suggested an alternate take on all the friend drama Conrad's been through. "Maybe you're the problem," he said. More »
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Comment by Trixie from Toronto: It's good that Lauren has such a good sense of humour about herself. 3 Responses | Other threads
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television
Television's Mid-Fall Report Card
It is already October 15th! How did that happen? I guess you could say that the Earth rotated around the sun a specific number of times and that days winnowed into nights which bled into days and so on and so on in the circle game. I think that's it. So, how have we been spending these ever-marching autumn hours? Watching TV, of course! Lots and lots of TV. Some has been good (Mad Men, The Daily Show), some has been bad (90210), and some has just been puzzling (Two and a Half Men?). So as we approach the ever-important November Sweeps Week—when networks set their ad rates based on inflated, extraordinary episodes that don't actually reflect typical week-in, week-out quality—let's take a second to give a quarter term report card. How has television been faring, you know, quality-wise (because we already know that ratings are in the toilet)? We'll analyze after the jump.
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Comment by bringmemyTofu: "How I Met Your Mother" has really been growing on me. I would give it a solid B+. 9 Responses | Other threads
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television
The Most Conservative and Most Liberal Shows On TV
The Gossip Girl kids have gotten political. Two of them at least, Penn Badgley who plays Dan and his off-screen ladylove Blake Lively, who plays his on-screen ladylove Serena. They're appearing in a MoveOn.org anti-McCain ad in which regular kids—including these two soap stars at that Hannah girl from that American Teenager documentary—condescend to their McCain-voting parents as if they were about to drink or take doobies. Har har. So Gossip Girl is a bit liberal, but it's not the only politicized show on the air. No indeed there are others, subtly (or not so) spouting rhetoric from both sides of the aisle. Our Photoshop expert Steve Dressler has created a simple chart that we'll explain after the jump. More »
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Comment by Pope John Peeps II: Richard what are you talking about? Greek sucks. If you mean "best show" as in they have gay characters, and... 14 Responses | Other threads
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whitney port
Whitney From 'The Hills' Gets Spinoff, New Fake Boyfriend
MTV's worst-kept rumor has finally been confirmed: eternally OMG-faced Whitney Port (seemingly the most normal member of The Hills) has gotten her own NYC spinoff show, The City. According to Us, "Port, now a Diane Von Furstenberg employee, reunites with 'a best friend from her past' and meets 'a guy she's head-over-heels for.'" Translation: MTV provides Port with brand-new, camera-ready pals (including NYC socialite Olivia Palermo) and a carefully focus-grouped boyfriend! Paparazzi snaps of Port filming have strongly suggested that the teased love interest is Aussie musician Jay Lyon, who already has one ignoble celebrity relationship on his resume: More »
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Comment by HandsomeBwonderful: Of all the characters on those shows, she seems the most real. BORING! REAL BORING. But at least she doesn't... more » | Other threads
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audrina patridge
Even Ellen's Visual Aids Can't Help Audrina Make Sense of Lauren's Fling with Justin Bobby
After so many seasons of shared LOLs, the relationship between Hills stars Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge appears to have come to an unfortunate, WTF-tinged end. Rumors are flying that Conrad betrayed her friend by hooking up with Patridge's vacant, hirsute ex-boyfriend Justin "Bobby" Brescia, and today, Patridge took to the Ellen DeGeneres Show to further fan the flames. A clearly mystified DeGeneres tried to sort out the "who's zooming who" particulars with the help of some visual aids, but only a Hills aficionado could make sense of a backstory so simultaneously convoluted and uneventful. Still, all the Dermalogica face cleanser in the world can't hide Patridge's newfound loneliness. Stay strong, auburn-haired one! [The Ellen DeGeneres Show]
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Comment by taraniso: I am proud of the fact that I have never watched this show. I saw that blond Spencer guy on... more » | Other threads
defamer
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Fri Jul 3
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