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mark wahlberg
Mark Wahlberg Thinks 'SNL' And Their Stupid Impression Of Him Can Suck It
While we found Andy Samberg's SNL impression of Mark Wahlberg as a sort of less-successful Dr. Doolittle overly preoccupied with sending his regards to farm animals' mothers to be flat out hilarious, not everyone was as amused. For starters, there was Wahlberg himself, who was asked about the sketch several times on the Max Payne interview circuit. In the audio clip above, set to a series of modeling shots and film stills by Defamer videographer Molly McAleer, the Robitussin-abusing star of The Happening seems mildy irritated by the caricaturization: More »
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By SethComment by DarkKnightShyamalan: The show Wahlberg does have his name on, Entourage, hasn't exactly been delivering the laughs for a while either. ... 2 Responses | Other threads
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mark wahlberg
Mark Wahlberg Talks To Pharmacists About Cough Syrup
Deep gratitude to Videogum for guiding us to this scene from The Happening—M. Night Shyamalan's surprisingly lucrative eco-thriller, originally pitched to skeptical studio execs as, "A lot like the The Birds, but instead it's The Trees. Well, there's birds in the trees, but they aren't scary. I dunno, maybe they're already dead. Hello? Are you still with me? What are you scribbling on that notepad? Do you want this or not, because there's plenty of studios who do." More » -
los angeles times
Red-Headed Step-Fox: The cycle of abusive box-office analysis is renewed today at the Los Angeles Times, where John Horn broke out his calculator and a hot wire hanger in assessing this summer's winners (Paramount, Warner Bros.) and losers (Sony, Disney). And, as per recent LAT tradition, 20th Century Fox was carted in for the grand finale, an epic pinata smackdown invoking everything from Meet Dave to Fox films' Rotten Tomatoes ratings while once again completely ignoring the total! phenomenon! that was The Happening; at last glance, Manoj's Mint broke $150 million worldwide, which isn't exactly a flop under the circumstances. Anyway, there's always next year, Horn writes, "when it will have sequels to X-Men and Ice Age and a film version of The A-Team." And don't forget Watchmen! Seriously, John — is this even your regular beat? [LAT] -
20th century fox
Fox and Hallmark's Greeting Card Empire: A Defamer Sneak Peek
Variety reports today that 20th Century Fox and Hallmark have reached a landmark licensing agreement granting the greeting card giant exclusive use of the studio's library. While Hallmark has already issued cards for properties like Napoleon Dynamite and has its eye on major titles including Futurama and The Sound of Music, Defamer wrangled a hold of mockups for Hallmark's "Turbulence at Fox '08" line — a selection celebrating the beauty and joy of life through Fox's bumpy year at the box-office. Follow the jump for a glimpse at warm greetings to come by way of Manoj Night Shyamalan, Eddie Murphy, The X-Files and others, and feel free to suggest your own heartfelt pairings as well. More »
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By STVComment by Little Mintz Sunshine: What...no Kiefer Kards? Also, I think there should be a special line of cards for agents/publicists: "Sympathy (or Congratulations) on your... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Shyamalan's 'Night Chronicles' to Teach Three Young Filmmakers the Art of Critically Reviled Pretentiousness
If it's true that he who laughs last laughs loudest, then we can hear M. Night Shyamalan this morning cackling all the way from his exurban Philadelphia enclave. Less than two months after his beleaguered The Happening hurdled billboard vandals and epidemic critical loathing on the way to wallet-fattenting coup, Cash-Machine Manoj announced a deal with financiers Media Rights Capital to develop and produce a slate of films through 2011. More »
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By STVComment by JudgeFudge: Said Shyamalan "More than anything, I want to work with a generation of filmmakers that have been raised on my... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Cash-Machine Manoj Saves His Best Twist Ending For Last
The day after DreamWorks was deported to the Asian Subcontinent was a bittersweet one around town — unless you're Steven Spielberg, we guess, who is a few signatures away from finally sticking it to Viacom, or maybe if you're CAA, which had previously wooed the Works' deep-pocketed Indian investors at Reliance ADA to throw money at projects for George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks, Nicolas Cage, Jim Carrey and a few of the agency's other heavy hitters. More »
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By STVComment by marmidukestank: Listen everyone. You have to stop with the "M. Night Shyamalan is obsessed with twist endings." thing. He has made eight... more » | Other threads
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Comment by gwendemarco: It was so nice for Marky Mark to take Matthew McConnaughey's stubby arms to the game. more » | Other threads
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defamer
After Strong U.S. Opening, 'Happening' Soon to Underwhelm en Español
Congratulations go out this morning to M. Night Shyamalan and his beleageured backers at 20th Century Fox, who weathered brutal buzz and worse reviews to nurse The Happening to an impressive $30.5 million opening. We've never been happier to underestimate a film's box-office juice — especially when Manoj's Folly needs all the support it can get before heading on the road. First stops: Mexico and Korea, where the film's marketing materials now include some of those countries' respective national landmarks among the decimated landscapes: More »
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By STVComment by random_play: Film Ed's Penis Too? Sounds like a secret directive for Molly McAleer and her friend. more » | Other threads
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monday morning box office
'The Incredible Hulk' Flexes His Guns
A just-about-perfect L.A. weekend is now over. Stir a little extra Hazelnut Coffee Mate into your World's Sexiest Assistant mug, and bite absentmindedly into some raspberry-jelly-filled box office numbers. We'll get through this: More » -
the happening
Arclight Has Their Own Ideas About How To Sell Tickets To 'The Happening'
A Defamer operative was kind enough to forward us his Arclight eNewsletter, and noticed that the prestige cineplex's snobby Classifications Committee has deemed the R-Rated M. Night Shyamalan's *SPOILER ALERT* eco- *END SPOILER ALERT* thriller The Happening a "comedy." We find this new trend beyond distressing, as studios and theater-owners are now taking it upon themselves to accelerate the crucial window that evolves a truly awful movie to camp-classic status. Clearly, there's too much revenue at stake from cutting-edge new upstarts like the Flopz channel to merely let the audience sort the so-bad-it's-bads from the so-bad-it's-goods. [Arclight Cinemas]
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By SethComment by Hallux Valgus: I'll admit it- I laughed throughout. And then spent 10 minutes after discussing whether or not it was supposed to... more » | Other threads
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the incredible hulk
'Hulk' Smaaaassssh 'Happening'! (And Other Box-Office Bloodshed For The Weekend Ahead)
Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your guide to the latest surges and scourges among this weekend's new movies. After a fairly predictable go of things last week, we face a pair of high-profile releases that couldn't be further apart in their critical and commercial futures, a nifty and thoroughly unnerving art-house project (hint: wheelchair sex) and a surplus of worthwhile DVD debuts for the shut-ins among us. As always, our opinions are our own and, of course, exceedingly tasteful and accurate. We are always looking out for you! More »
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By STVComment by SpyMagician: Who is the genius who decided to release The Happening during THE SUMMER!!!! Who in their right mind is excited to... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Mark Wahlberg Skips Premiere Party, Would Rather Watch Hoops Than 'The Happening'
Call it a midlife crisis, queasiness or just sheer boredom, but good soldier Mark Wahlberg may have finally reached his leading-man saturation point with The Happening. It was bad enough that the gossips attribute his persistent new jitters to his work with "that scary motherfucker Manoj" Night Shyamalan, or that the actor fled Tuesday's premiere and afterparty to watch his Celtics battle the Lakers in the NBA Finals. But no on-screen spookiness could prepare him for the terrifying onslaught of questions about his past with the Funky Bunch: More »
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By STVComment by Juancho: @TurdBlossom: According to Glenn O'Brien, Marky Mark dedicated his book to his cock. I have never ever seen or heard... 1 Responses | Other threads
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defamer
'The Happening' Finally Screens For Critics And The Results Are Not Pretty
ManojWatch has been underway at Defamer long enough to know that the director's latest, The Happening, faces a bit of an uphill climb when it reaches theaters at last this Friday. But while previously we'd only had one anonymous review and a pair of introspective pre-mortems with the "press-shy" Shyamalan — the latest appearing yesterday in the LA Times — the film officially screened for press for the first time on Sunday evening. Naturally 20th Century Fox lost our invitation (and thus, we suppose, instructions for a review embargo — we'll never know!) in the mail, but we heard from a reviewer who was there and has new word on Manoj's Folly: More »
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By STVComment by bonniegrrl: When The Onion gives a movie a D, you should probably listen. "The spectacularly ill-conceived, tension-free The Happening will have audiences... more » | Other threads
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m night shyamalan
Whether it's the work of just one Manosh-targeting vandal or a number of copycat subway saboteurs, the one thing we know about The Happening adbusting is that we find it fucking hilarious. After New York public transit patrons were left wondering what twist and turns lay at the end of The Penis (spoiler alert: balls!), they now have a whole new slew of questions regarding a Friday the 13th release called, chillingly, The Crapening. [copyranter]
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By SethComment by WGARefugee: Perez should be a "person of interest" in this dastardly scandal. He needs to be stopped before he defaces the... more » | Other threads
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defamer
A Convenient User's Guide to Who's Misunderstanding M. Night Shyamalan Today
Lest you thought that literally everyone with access to a modem was piling on the ever-accelerating M. Night Shyamalan/Happening Backlash-Wagon, we have found one defender of the faith — one deeply committed Shyamaphile whose allegiance to the beleaguered filmmaker manifests itself today in a pro-Manoj screed so penetrating it could cut glass. Or maybe lick the glass. But don't take our word for it; after the jump, Brad Brevet has what may be the final word on the myriad misunderstandings trailing The Happening to its June 13 release. More » -
defamer
Bad-Buzz Watch: M. Night Shyamalan Defaced; Deepak Chopra Stumps for 'Love Guru'
With the exception of Iron Man, the quality of the '08 summer movie vintage has been more than a little underwhelming. While we await salvation (we hope) in the form of July entries The Dark Knight and Tropic Thunder, a glance at the latest downbeat buzz on a few other key offerings has us thinking it might be a long June. More »
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By STVComment by ginnypotter: @Inkymonkey: If you think that's bad, wait until you see the ending. I read the script last year. And...wow. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Ego Consumes M. Night Shyamalan in Latest, Not-So-Twist Ending
Antipathy toward Manoj Night Shyamalan was easy after Lady in the Water, but the slip-sliding trajectory of his upcoming eco-thriller The Happening has our hearts suddenly and surprisingly enlarged with pity. After a while, there's only so much you can hold against a guy whose actors' line readings are scarier than his plot, who unironically claims he's got something on The Exorcist and whose latest double-shot of bad buzz suggests Shyamalan's days as Genius Autocrat Brat are spiraling to a close. For starters, the flagging Manoj Mystique™ gets the point-counterpoint treatment in today's NY Times: More » -
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By SethComment by Admore thinks really long names make you funnier: The legend is that MNS rewrote Sixth Sense 35 times. I'm pretty sure he hasn't done that with anything... more » | Other threads
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defamer
What's the Last Thing You'd Say if M. Night Shyamalan Killed You Off?
From last week's revelations about his new "90-minute paranoia film" The Happening to his latest disclosure to USA Today that the movie is "terrifying," M. Night Shyamalan is full of surprises for the first time in years, The concept, that is — not necessarily the execution. And as usual, his enticements have us asking all kinds of questions from the womb-like remove of our Manoj-free sanctum: More » -
defamer
M. Night Shyamalan to Play Himself in Eagerly-Awaited '90-Minute Paranoia Movie'
It's been nearly two years since we last detected the whimperings of M. Night Shyamalan, who followed Lady in the Water (and the pouty studio exile that preceded it) with a quiet retreat to his shrouded, moated enclave in the Pennsylvania wilderness. But the LA Times's Susan King smoked him out in advance of his return to theaters this summer, reviving the classic Manoj Twist for a readership craving every word: More » -
disasters
Sensational Viral Mystery Eating L.A. Not Such a Mystery After All
Not to be outdone by the swift, shaky-cam destruction of its transcontinental nemeses in Cloverfield, Los Angeles is getting its own taste of catastrophe in the latest viral sensation to hit YouTube. At least we think it's L.A.; some have suggested that Case 1017 — the grainy home video of HazMat-suited CDC officials and semi-automatic weapons fire that has attracted 1.1 million views since Saturday — is a tease for Cloverfield 2 or M. Night Shyamalan's forthcoming Philly disaster epic The Happening. Follow the jump, however, for what turns out to be a much simpler explanation. More » -
just asking
Is 20th Century Fox Already Cooling On M. Night Shyamalan's 'The Happening'?
There are two ways of looking at 20th Century Fox's decision not to air an ad for The Happening during the Super Bowl last night (Ed. Note: teaser trailer removed by the request of 20th Century Fox). The first is that the company made a financially savvy decision by choosing not to blow $2.7 million on a thirty-second advertisement (like all those other studios did). The other is that the studio is feeling a bit gunshy on the financial prospects of Night's first film since the unmitigated disaster that was Lady In The Water. And as for which theory we think holds more water? We're going with the latter. More »
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By Mark GrahamComment by Miss d: @Shumina: No. He just has nothing really interesting to say... NEXT! more » | Other threads
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