EDM Ken-doll and Taylor Swift consort Calvin Harris was seen leaving a Thai massage parlor on Sunset Boulevard earlier this week, after spending two hours inside. Radar reported the spot Harris visited received raves on Yelp as the best “happy ending” spot in town, conjuring visions of a normal human man casting about for relief from his obligations to an exquisite celebrity android. But when it comes to professional handjobs, there are more reliable sources than Yelp, and, apparently, more reliable massage parlors than In Thai Spa.
It’s always nice when couples have common interests, like skiing or manga or believing in fairytales. For example: In 2008, Taylor Swift sang, “I had so many dreams/About you and me/Happy endings/Now I know,” in the ballad “White Horse.” Then, on Thursday, her official boyfriend Calvin Harris visited a Thai massage parlor that—according to Yelp—provides the “best happy endings” in Hollywood.
ATTN Taylor Swift and anyone who can keep a secret (this is private): Someone is trying to sell an “intimate photo” of Taylor Swift with the Scottish DJ Calvin Harris. Calvin Harris is, as Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris will loudly tell you, Taylor Swift’s boyfriend for real. It’s true! Radar reports:
Last night, during her fifth and final 1989 performance at Los Angeles’s Staples Center, Taylor Swift brought to the stage Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan: a singer-songwriter; a pretend woman your mother likes from television; your result in multiple BuzzFeed quizzes. They sang “Smelly Cat,” Buffay-Hannigan’s most well-known tune.
Taylor Swift spoke and Apple listened. She wrote an open letter to the tech behemoth regarding its plan to use music without compensating artists, writers, or producers during its three-month trial run of its new streaming service, and just like that, Apple reversed its policy. In response, Wired declared Taylor Swift the “queen of the internet,” while Entrepreneur called her “the most powerful person in tech.”
While potential customers may be enticed by Apple’s play of launching its streaming music service with three free months for everyone, indie musicians were not especially psyched to hear that Apple wouldn’t be paying artists during that time. But Apple didn’t acknowledge their complaints until Taylor Swift got involved.
Here is a photo of Taylor Swift and her new “beau,” the DJ Calvin Harris, enjoying a pool day and doing fun-but-ultimately-restricted poses for the camera. Do these two people like having sex (together), or do they LOVE having sex (together)? If you said yes to either, I’m sure this “hot couple” appreciates your faith.