Gawker
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the dark knight
MSNBC Psychics Attribute Record Profits To Next 'Shrek' Film
MSNBC reports today that based on adjusted ticket prices, the record-breaking summer Hollywood just enjoyed at the box office in fact hosted 5 percent fewer moviegoers than 2007. Even The Dark Knight was subject to a particularly troubling reality check, with the as-yet-unproduced Shrek 4 surpassing its unprecedented money-making prowess. Now that is phenomenal. Next up: Watch Iron Man 3 shatter Harry Potter's impossible dream in 2009. [MSNBC]
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By STVComment by StudioGeek: Exactly - they editied the headline then contridicted themselves in the caption below the photos. It should say "'Dark Knight'... more » | Other threads
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short ends
Rupert Murdoch Not Going To Let The Strike Ruin His Xmas Party Plans
· Tom Cruise's career as a studio mogul is off to an inauspicious start, as poor box office results for Lions for Lambs suggest he hasn't quite cultivated the hitmaking instincts MGM believed he had when they handed him United Artists. Next up: Tom tries to kill Hitler! [Variety] More » -
but if any writers ask, tell them we've suffered record losses
Studios Already Shredding Hundred Dollar Bills For Use As "Summer Of Prosperity" Parade Confetti
We're nothing if not suckers for a nice feel-good story, especially when it's accompanied by a fun chart where Spider-Man scales a pillar representing the obscene amounts of money some of our favorite movie studios are making: With four different films crossing the $300 million mark, Hollywood is enjoying its Best Summer Ever, a period of prosperity that is erasing all memory of that nasty, alleged "Slump" of 2005, when executives were forced to answer all kinds of rude questions about why their shitty product wasn't selling. During this new Golden Age of Very Profitable Threequels, they instead get to crow about how smart they are in the pages of Variety: More » -
defamer
The Hunt For America's Best Singing Ogre Begins
Clear your calendars, underemployed, musical-loving actors of Los Angeles, for you've been officially notified that the cattle-call that could deliver you the kind of Broadway superstardom you've always dreamed of is at hand. Next Wednesday, thousands upon thousands of singing-ogre hopefuls, their voices colored with the frustration of scores of commercial callbacks that never came, will descend upon Burbank, trying to demonstrate they can belt out rock lyrics through an impenetrable faux-Scottish accent. Please note that the producers have taken special care to invite performers "of all cultural backgrounds" to audition for both leading roles—the words "urban edge," "hip hop," and "R&B" are just fun little lawyer-approved suggestions about what they're looking for in their perfect Donkey. More » -
defamer
'Shrek' Is Furthering The Tranny Agenda, Says Conservative Blog
The Illinois Review blog (the "crossroads of the conservative community") posted a review of Shrek the Third that, despite acknowledging a positive, "pro-life" ending, still gave it a thumbs down. Their reasoning: They felt that the mannish character of Doris the Ugly Stepsister, voiced by CNN's trusted talk icon Larry King, is the byproduct of the Hollywood propaganda machine aimed at luring America's youth towards the evils of transgenderism: More » -
defamer
'Pirates' Sets Records, Sort Of, Even Though Records Are Silly And Who's Counting Anyway?
As you settle back into your ergonomic seats after a well-deserved long weekend, contemplating how a Tuesday morning could feel more hopeless than any Monday ever did, consider stirring some box office numbers into your coffee instead of that heaping teaspoon of rat poison. You'll thank us if you do. More » -
defamer
Sun Rises, Sun Sets, Dumb Sequel Breaks Record
The Second Horseman of the Blockbuster Sequel Apocalypse is now galloping through your local multiplex, so dive behind the candy counter and pray he harvests the souls of that bickering family of four in line behind you. Your weekened box office numbers: More » -
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defamer
A Cautious Jeffrey Katzenberg Not Expecting His Ogre To Smash Spider-Man's Record
Perhaps depressed that his evil, publicity-boosting plan to cut Jerry Seinfeld's zip-line with a comically oversized pair of scissors and send the Bee Movie star hurtling into the sea was foiled by a last-second bout of conscience, DreamWorks Animation head cheerleader Jeffrey Katzenberg refrained from making any bold predictions about Shrek the Third's shot at topping Spider-Man 3's box office record this weekend: More » -
short ends
Pam Suffers Freak 'Accident' At Upfronts; Karen Held For Questioning
· Victims of the upfronts II: Pam is down! We repeat, Pam. Is. Down.· (Don't worry, she's going to be OK.) More » -
marketing
Shrek Happy Meals Sorely Lacking In Happy-Making Ingredients
As Shrek, DreamWorks' Great Green Hope for a profitable summer, continues to find himself the bearer of mixed nutritional messages aimed at the roly-poly youth of America, corporate partner/child-obesity public enemy #1 McDonald's has found a workable solution that will allow kids to indulge in guilt-free Shrek Happy Meal snacking: More » -
defamer
Shrek And Friends Split Their Tie-In Time Between Promoting And Discouraging Childhood Obesity
If you are finding it increasingly difficult to avoid DreamWorks' trumpet-eared ogre, it probably has something to do with the rapidly approaching premiere of Shrek the Third, coming soon to every available advertising and tie-in space near you. But a parents' advocacy group is having a hard time reconciling how Shrek and the gang—now appearing on specially packaged Happy Meals, Snickers bars, M&M's, Sierra Mist cans, Fruit Loops, Frosted Flakes, Pop-Tarts, Cheez-Its and Keebler cookies—can also be the faces of the government's new "Get off your asses, lardos!" anti-child-obesity campaign. The AP reports: More » -
defamer
Trade Round-Up: Mogulpalooza!
· Thanks to Beverly Hills-fleeing agencies CAA and ICM and reemerging studio MGM, Hollywood has returned to Century City. But there goes the neighborhood already: Entertainment lawyers have descended to suck the life from he newly vital area. Anon, to Burbank, where the suits won't dare follow! [Variety] More » -
movies
Diaz Helps Timberlake Cross Over Into Bad Voice Acting
Radar Online reports on unbearable tensions in the production of Shrek 3, where Cameron Diaz helpfully "suggested" casting songbird boyfriend (and aspiring horrible actor) Justin Timberlake in a major, tricky role. Timberlake promptly repaid his lady's kindness by "ruining the movie," leaving screwed DreamWorks Animation chief pompom tipJeffrey Katzenberg to muse about ways to rectify the situation and save his money-printing franchise: More »
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