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recaps
Real World Cancun: At Least You Weren't Adopted!
This week was the Cleaning episode. It was also the Blowdown episode. And it was the Let's Watch the Roommate Who Won an Online Contest to Be Here Alienate Herself and Yell At Everyone episode. So many episodes in one! More » -
recaps
Real World Cancun: Please Don't Spit In My Taco
Oh, Mexico. Land of sand and ruins. Place of history and blood. Of vines and mountains. Mexico: where you can get drunk at a laser lightshow nightclub and then spit in your roommate's taco and no one bats an eyelash. More » -
generations
The Youngs Will Destroy the Hills They Created
And you thought all teens and twentysomethings were shallow wastoids. Turns out they hate The Hills and other muck same as you. At least execs at MTV are hoping that's true, as they've just completely restructured based on that assumption.
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recaps
Real World Cancun: The Y'alls of Montezuma
Like an ocean breeze mingling with the scent of cheap fajitas, last night the Real World: Cancun swept into our lives. Not with a bang or a whimper, but some strange harmony in between. Yes, I said harmony! More » -
you are here
How to Break Into the Real World: DCers' House
OK, that's not what we're advocating here, or even talking about. What we mean to say is: Hey, look! Someone found the blueprints for the Real World's new Dupont-located fuckhut. The biggest news? There's no goddamned hot tub. Whither Chlamydia? More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: You Wouldn't Like Teresa When She's Angry
Things disappear so quickly these days. They just fleet past, like car lights out on the Turnpike. I'm speaking, of course, of the premature end of Real Housewives of New Jersey, a show that we'd only just gotten to know. More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Gorge Between Tasteful and Tacky
What does one do with bubbies? Does one shake them and quake them and hopefully not break them? Or do they just dangle and bulge, like boats or balloons? We sought to find the answers to these questions last night. More » -
Trapezoid Of Lies
Heidi Pratt's 'Hospitalization' Is One Giant Reality TV Mess
Heidi Pratt was rushed to a hospital in Costa Rica last night for some kind of stomach infection while filming/quitting I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Our source calls the entire thing out. More » -
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reality tv
'Coke Whore' Danielle Staub Was Also a 'Paid Escort,' According to Her Ex
Real Housewife of New Jersey and former "coke whore" Danielle Staub worked for an escort service in Miami in the late 1980s, according to an interview her ex-husband Kevin Maher gave to Star. There's lots more. More » -
area peacock shot
Heidi and Spencer's War on Reality Continues from Jungle Hideout
So we got duped. Twice! Heidi and Spencer, the prats from The Hills who supposedly quit the horrid reality trash barge I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!, haven't, in fact, been gotten outta there. More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: A Criminal's Guide to the Garden State
Martha Graham once said that "dance is a song of the body. Either of joy or pain." Last night's New Jersey deep dive proved her sage point. There was joy and there was pain, but also there was dancing. More » -
disasters
Spencer on Quitting I'm a Celebrity...: 'I'm Not a Reality Star. I'm on The Hills.'
Well, that didn't go well at all. One episode and several crying jags/smacking-water-bottles-out-of-Frangela's-hands later, Heidi and Spencer from The Hills have quit the disastrous reality series I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!. Mostly because it's "not a nice show." Plus Heidi got bug bites. More » -
recaps
The Hills: The Death and Birth of Lauren Conrad
Well that, I guess, is it. The last we'll see of old Lauren "LC" Conrad on The Hills, the reality dynasty that she helped build with her own two well-groomed hands. How did it all go down? Well, like any good comedy, it ended with a wedding. More » -
reality tv
Rehashing Your 'Coke Whore' Past for Fun and Profit
We tracked down Kevin Maher, the former FBI informant and ex-husband of Danielle Staub of Real Housewives of New Jersey, whom he called a "coke whore." He's under a "contract" with Star for the exclusive to his story, so couldn't really talk. But he thinks Danielle's life is in danger.
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heading to the mall
Real Housewives To Burn Washington D.C. to the Ground
Washington is all the rage these days! What with the politics and all. MTV's Real World series might be heading down that way, and Newsweek did that DC-set Hills parody. Well now Bravo's following suit. With—yes you guessed it because, really, what else?—an upcoming installment of Real Housewives. More » -
recaps
The Hills: Love Means Having to Grudgingly Say You're Sorry
The pen is indeed mightier! In fact, the pen is ultimate. Which is to say, last night was the second-to-last episode of The Hills this season, calloo callay. As any good second-to-last episode is, it was all setup for the dramatic finale next week. So let's sift through the setup. More » -
recaps
American Idol: Guy Next Door vs. Guyliner
Oh Ryan, you master of the turn of phrase. Clever little frosted minx. I'm gonna miss you when they pack you back up into your E! radio locker and I don't get any of you until next January. Sigh. The last competition night of the year! It was... just aight. More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: A Palace Made of Marble and Makeup
You guys? I think I have to confess something here right at the start. No offense to my beloved O.C. harpies and my bankable New York climbers, but the New Jersey broads might be my favorite of all the Housewives. More » -
recaps
The Hills: Steve Martin Shoots Spencer Pratt In the Face
The Hills has fallen victim to the recession. Yes, a single job loss has swept the dusty mounds, and, presumably, has blown over the actual hills as well. We weep for Handbags, deprived of employ. More » -
recaps
The Real Housewives Reunion: The Time of Our Lives
Last night was Part Two of The War of the Grosses, alternately titled the Real Housewives of New York City reunion special. It was: ladies yelling in an echoing room while a gay dude sighed. More » -
recaps
American Idol: The Unholy Trinity
Three is a number steeped in magic and myth—the three fates spinning our doom, the three versions of Jesus (dad, son, creepy ghost), the three bears. And now, the three Idol men. Heroes all. More » -
recaps
Real Housewives of New Jersey: Make Our Garden State Grow
We took that turn! Whistling through tunnels, sailing o'er the bridge. We blinked our eyes, suddenly out of the city, in a new, strange place that the Indians named New Jersey, a thousand years ago. More » -
primer
After Real Housewives of New Jersey, We Will Never Be the Same
ZOMG guys, are you dying? Real Housewives of New Jersey premieres tonight, and it's getting really good reviews. I mean, not like Wire reviews. But good for a reality show reviews. More » -
recaps
The Hills: The Trip to Satan's Dungeon
That wisp dancing up into the azure sky isn't smoke from the Fire of Santa Barbara. No, it's bits of the dearly departed soul of Spencerina, fleeting up to heaven to make handbags with God. More » -
night terrors
Can American Idol Ever Be Stopped?
Short answer: No. Longer answer: Sorta. The New York Times ponders the important question today, as the singing competition show's ratings drop but its revenues continue to skyrocket. More » -
recaps
Gossip Girl: Sooty Sextopia
In our continuing series of guest recappers, we present a mysterious woman known only as Octavia Thundersnatch who braved one hour of insipid TV so you didn't have to. More » -
recaps
The Hills: The Week 'Skankily' Entered the Lexicon
Richard is off tra-la-la-ing through Paris this week and for some reason MTV still decided to air an episode of The Hills. Guest recapping the MTV abomination is hero Megan Kustra. Be nice to her. More » -
recaps
The Hills: Each and Every One a Virgin
Go tell Isabella Rossellini that we've found the saddest music in the world. It's the sound of a dozen idiots chirping on The Hills. Last night, there was bible study. On The Hills. Religion! More » -
reality tv
David Letterman's Underminey Digs at Lauren Conrad
Lauren Conrad's most recent and, let's face it, quite possibly last appearance on the Late Show was an odd cocktail of passive-aggressive barbs and ribald, lusty commentary from host David Letterman. More » -
reality tv
Eliot Spitzer Spotted on Real Housewives of NYC
Eliot Spitzer was not quite ready for media cameras back in the fall, but Bravo still managed to get him on camera while shooting the Real Housewives of New York City that aired tonight. More » -
recaps
The Hills: Working Hard to Make a Better World for None of Us
In 1974, the great Studs Terkel published Working: People Talk About What They Do All Day and How They Feel About What They Do. In 2009, Handbags Pratt, an idiot gypsy, finally went to work. More » -
cattle call
Be an Important Part of Project Runway!
Now that the Project Runway Wars are over, it's time to get on with the business of casting for the fashion show's seventh season. The application is due April 24th. Which isn't much time! More » -
breakdowns
The 5 Types of American Idol Watchers
Junk-haus auteur Quentin Tarantino is a guest judge on American Idol tonight, for the second time. He's an unabashed, earnest fan of the show. It got us thinking. What kind of people watch Idol? More » -
recaps
The Hills: The Long, Slow Death of Heidi & Spencer
What drama! What intrigue! What mystery! What emotion! Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about my trip home for Easter. Now where were we? Oh, right. The Hills. Yes. Spencer and Heidi are no more. More » -
recaps
American Idol: I Trust You Can Show Yourself Out, Scott
OK. Let's just get it out of the way: Didn't see that one coming! OK. That's over. Now, let's go on and discuss the elimination of Scott and hopefully not make any more terrible jokes. More » -
poverty
Can the Recession Make Reality TV Even Worse?
Reality shows have always been cheap—wooden sets, woodener stars, bottom shelf booze—but now they're getting even cheaper. There's a recession on! One show is stooping to capitalize on the gloom. By firing people. More » -
reality tv
Octo-Mom's Dating Show Sure To Attract Quality Men
Good news in dark times: You'll seen be able to take Nadya Suleman away from her 14 kids, on a date, to be filmed by reality show cameras and watched by a confused, frightened nation. More » -
recaps
The Hills: Things To Do With Lauren Conrad When She's Dead
Well, here it is. It's back. The Hills swooped overhead last night—two episodes worth!—like some dark angel of the sparkly rapture. It's good to know your enemy, so let's analyze after the jump. More » -
recaps
American Idol: The Rest of Megan Joy
Oh April Fools' Idol! You had no fooling. It was a traditionally brusque and quick and not-at-all-time-wastey affair, straight and to the point. Ha ha! April Fools! It was long and boring and stupid. More »CorkeryIs Eliminated -
recaps
Real World: The Bitter Brooklyn End
So that was it! What's passed is past and we won't get anymore. The Real World: Brooklyn has come to an end, with bags and suitcases and genitals packed up and away. More »






























































