Gawker
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hoaxes
Paula Abdul Thinks She's Huge in Austria
Hah, oh dear. It seems that Paula Abdul, cat-litter-mouthed judge of American Idol singers, was duped by Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno character in his new film. And she still doesn't know it. More »
8,809
12
Comment by Plawf: I haven't slept in a couple of days, so rather than trying any poorly executed attempts at sarcasm, i'm just... 1 Responses | Other threads
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recaps
American Idol: Disco Ain't the Only Thing That's Dead
Oh American Idol Season Eight. You're showing your age. Two more dreamers were sent packing last night, they were—just by coincidence probably!—the two most conspicuously brown of the bunch. Obama Era nothing, huh? More »
9,133
Comment by RheaPollstry: Adam Lambert, first openly gay idol. And third gay idol, after Kelly Clarkson and that grey-haired dude. 6 Responses | Other threads
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forever our girl
Paula Abdul: Live On Late Night/Early Morning TV
Paula Abdul worked the midnight shift on Saturday night on HSN, selling her Forever Your Girl jewelry line. As it was live TV, we knew we needed to watch it closely. [Jezebel]
5,545
By TracieComment by smallcritic: I know she's probably a drunk or a pill-popper, but there are other possibilities. My Mom has a condition called... 10 Responses | Other threads
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american idol
'Idol' Producer On Contestant Suicide: 'I Like Dem Odds!'
Paula Abdul is now freely admitting she was scared shitless the day she came face-to-face in the Idol audition room with a longtime obsessive fan who'd later commit suicide outside her home. -
Christmas Stalking
Letterman Urges Abdul To Sue Fox Over Misguided 'Idol: Stalkers Edition'
Paula Abdul's Tchochke-Pimping/Fan-Suicide Post Morteming World Tour landed in the Late Show hot seat last night, where Dave—a stalkee's rights activist if ever there was one—advocated on behalf of the Idol judge.
2,420
By SethComment by maestrousa: On a slightly different topic, does Leno getting bumped to 10 p.m. mean Letterman won the late night war? more » | Other threads
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the view
Paula Abdul Claims Idol Conspiracy Theory, Commits Career Suicide
Following Paula Abdul's appearance on The View yesterday, she was interviewed on Barbara Walters' satellite radio show, where the cheap, sparkly jewelry and the gloves came off. Abdul went off on a rant about how the whole Paula Goodspeed debacle was "an attempt by Fox Broadcasting, the producers of American Idol, and Simon Cowell to ruin [her] career." She then blamed her, uh, loopy appearance on Idol on Cowell and clever editing. But as Sherri Shepherd pointed out, Paula's own reality show did her no favors in proving an Idol conspiracy theory. Paula's contract is up at the end of this season, so it looks there are no plans for renewal. As Joy Behar points out, are we supposed to feel sorry about this? Clip above. [Jezebel]
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By TracieComment by Kenyakarma: The same point I was trying to make yesterday. For a blog that is suppose to be about supporting... 14 Responses | Other threads
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paula abdul
Paula Abdul's Morning Show Bender
There are two Paula Abduls: The first, a fierce and focused businesswoman, overseeing a growing multimedia empire bolstered by her stratospheric visibility on American Idol. The other is tanked, and the one we actually care about. You rarely get just one or the other, mind you, but instead a glorious spectrum of increasingly blurry...how do you say...shades of Paula.
4,489
By SethComment by PlumBlossom: Considering she not really on anything, I find the whole Paula bashing kind of sad and pathetic. It just... 4 Responses | Other threads
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american idol
Bikini-Clad 'Idol' Contestant Going To Hollywood Despite Pitchiness In Left Saline Implant
With just a little over a month before Fox parts the 200-foot-high bamboo gates of Karaoke Island and unleashes their gargantuan ratings beast upon an eager-to-be-trampled public, the American Idol publicity machine is in full swing.
11,749
By SethComment by OldTowneTavern: The only implant that woman could have is of the Cochlear variety, and it still wouldn't help her singing. more » | Other threads
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paula abdul
More On Dead Paula Fan: She Was An 'Idol' Contestant
The identity of the Paula Abdul obsessive found dead in a car outside Abdul's home last night has been revealed to be Paula Goodspeed, who Idol-watchers might recall as being the contestant who showed off a portfolio of "life-sized Paula drawings" and miscellaneous Paulapernalia. (Video after the jump.) She was then led before a judging tribunal that included her hero—certainly not an easy feat—before launching into a brain-scrambling rendition of "Proud Mary" that elicited predictable humiliation from Simon Cowell over "all the metal in her mouth." Following that was a disturbing interview (editors underscored it with a horror movie soundtrack) in which Goodspeed pledges that, "It's not over. I'm not just going to step singing just because you don't like my voice." More » -
Defamer Pleasant Surprises
Dead Woman Outside Paula Abdul's House Not Paula Abdul
A bizarre discovery turned up outside America Idol tastemaker Paula Abdul's home last night: a dead body propped over in a car. Even more confusing was that the body belonged not to the klonopin chip brownie-loving singer/choreographer/karoake-feedback-deliverer herself, but rather a rabid Abdul fan, whose car bore a vanity license plate reading "ABL LV," ("4VR URGL" had already been taken) and Paula-scented air-fresheners dangling from the rear-view mirror. More details follow after the jump: More »
7,332
By SethComment by mfnher: I only caught a couple of episodes, but her reality show was great. The complete lack of self awareness and... 3 Responses | Other threads
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ryan seacrest
Ryan Seacrest Reveals The Secret Behind Simon Cowell's Perma-Scowl: Botox
Now that mogulsexual Ryan Seacrest finally has an American Idol season to start taping, he's shelved his budding bromance with NBC head Ben Silverman to get back to what he does worst: trading barbs with Simon Cowell. To kick off this latest round of homoerotic oversharing, Seacrest landed himself on Ellen DeGeneres's couch, where he proceeded to mock Cowell's self-obsession and accuse the withering judge of a Botox addiction. Yes, Ryan Seacrest called someone else out for metrosexual grooming. Removing your blond highlights can really embolden a man. [The Ellen DeGeneres Show]
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Comment by forever1267: During the previews for this, it showed Ellen saying to him, "I'm always trying to set you up with people,... more » | Other threads
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short ends
Paula Abdul Accidentally Swallows Own Tongue During 'Rachael Ray Show' Brownie Binge
· It's really not the end of summer until Paula Abdul salivates over a Tupperware container filled with Rachael Ray's delicious Klonopin-chip brownies. Side note: We believe that video breaks the world record for on-camera time in which Ryan Seacrest remains completely silent. [RR] More » -
american idol
Best Friendsies! Ignore everything you've heard about Paula Abdul hating that miserable, no-talent bitch Kara DioGuardi—aka the hotter, younger, more talented Paula recently added to the American Idol judging tribunal. It turns out, they love each other, just like the press release from Mike Darnell originally said they would! "Abdul told Page Six: 'The 'American Idol' cast was such a boys club, now I have a true sister to share the fun with. It's been amazing.'" Now does that seem remotely coerced? Of course not. [NY Post] -
american idol
Desperate Fox Adds New Judge To 'Idol'; Insists She Work Topless
Newsflash! The producers of Karaoke Borg American Idol have done the unthinkable: They have decided to tinker with the magical Idol judging formula America has come to rely on. In addition to the Really Bitchy One, the Inarticulate Gang-Sign-Delivering One, and the Alternately Effusive, Incoherent, and Flat-Out-Unconscious One, we can now look forward to the Non-Jaded Songwriter Who Doesn't Spend Most of the Auditions Fantasizing About Traceless Ways To Snuff Ryan Seacrest Out of Existence One. Let's let the Fox press release explain! More » -
hollywood privacywatch
Hollywood Privacywatch: Has Courtney Love Finally Been Domesticated?
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Courtney Love pawing through Benjamin Moore paint samples in Santa Monica. More »
8,527
By Mark GrahamComment by luluXIV: Dear Craig Ferguson Sighter, Your spot on NBC observation left me momentarily speechless. In short, mad props. And you should know... more » | Other threads
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hollywood privacywatch
Hollywood Privacywatch: Even Jackie Warner Thinks Sky Sport Is Overpriced
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by the loyal readers of Defamer. As a few emailers have noted, it took us a few weeks to collect this installment — if you want to see this feature run more frequently, be sure to send in your tips early and often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Work Out's Jackie Warner working out a gym other than the one she owns. More »
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By Mark GrahamComment by Guadalahonky: @Mark Graham: Okay, Jonah Hill at lunch Wednesday at the new Doughboys on Highland. He looked exactly how one imagines... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Paula Abdul Succeeds In Lifelong Goal Of Traversing Space-Time Continuum
American Idol judge Paula Abdul—on whom we rely to pull browbeaten contestants into her addled embrace, showering them with slurred words of encouragement—made a gaffe for the ages on last night's all-Neil Diamond-cover show. In her defense, producers made a radical change to the show's familiar format, holding all the judging until after the final five had performed two songs. This introduced a complicated new element to the karoake-appraising procedure: taking notes. But no sooner had Paula accepted her fate, and begun to get the hang of scribbling things like "David C.: Shining star, authentic, love the pants," on an index card, sniveling Idol homeroom Poindexter Ryan Seacrest changed the rules once again, demanding to know where Randy, Paula, and Simon stood on the performances at the half-way mark. More »
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By SethComment by MessyMortal: @mrtrailsafety: hahaha I wonder what colour the sky is on Paula's whirled! more » | Other threads
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defamer
Rejoice! Zonked Paula Is Back!
It's now official: We are in the midst of another Golden Era of Idol. You can toss it all at us—the gay stripper-boogers, the teen Mormon prodigies, the butch nurse-rockers (with male fiancés—DVR replay does not lie!), the off-duty drag queens with moms that look like Divine—but without a completely incoherent, equilibrium-challenged Paula Abdul, it really amounts to a whole lot of nothing. More » -
defamer
CDC And FEMA On High-Alert After Paula Abdul's Urine Sample Goes Missing
Anyone who's experienced even a single episode of Hey Paula, the Bravo reality show that dared to pull back the beaded curtain and reveal the complex inner-life of soft-focus superstar Paula Abdul, knows that the American Idol judge's fans are like no other. Still, there are lines that dare not be crossed, and swiping Abdul's urine sample from a gynecologist's reception desk seems to us to tread dangerously close to that invasive precipice: More » -
defamer
Tina Fey Recalls Paula Abdul's Trainwreck 'SNL' Appearance
It was on Howard Stern's show that Tina Fey described SNL guest host Paris Hilton as "a piece of shit" who was universally hated by the cast, and now in Playboy (sorry Feynatics—just an interview, not a Naughty Showrunner spread in which she delivers script notes wearing only glasses and an unbuttoned men's dress shirt with the collar up), she recalls the experience of working with Paula Abdul: More » -
defamer
Paula Abdul Denies Paula Abdul's Claim Of Being Fired From 'Bratz'
It took five soul-deadening episodes, but Bravo's Hey Paula finally offered something by way of quality entertainment on this week's show, when unstable protagonist Paula Abdul appeared to have been relieved of her producing duties on the Bratz movie, the most hotly anticipated release of the summer (among RealDoll fetishists). Despite an amazingly convincing meltdown, in which she openly questioned the existence of God and berated her staff for daring to speak as she tried "to tell a goddamned story," Abdul now claims that the entire sequence was concocted by dastardly reality show editors. Paula wasn't fired—she fired them! More » -
defamer
Hey Paula: You're Fired
By all measures, Hey Paula, the Bravo reality show offering viewers unfettered access to everyone's favorite inarticulate American Idol judge who isn't Randy Jackson, was as sure a thing as they come. Who wouldn't tune in to catch a rare glimpse of the real Paula Abdul—the enigmatic woman behind all the narcoleptic promotional appearances, the Chihuahua-related head traumas, and the secretly recorded P.R. conference call meltdowns? More »
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By SethComment by jasonelias: She's crying about missing out on that Bratz movie money. All of those titles she was supposedly going to have,... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Paula Abdul And Winston Churchill's Personal Philosophies Virtually Interchangeable
It would seem on the surface that there are few parallels to be drawn between Sir Winston Churchill and Paula Abdul, but there nevertheless exists striking similarities between the two popular figures: Both have suffered at one point or another from a coherency-impeding speech defect, both have pitched moderately successful jewelry lines on QVC, and both were admired for their ability to deliver rousing speeches before an audience of millions in moments when peril loomed greatest, such as the threat of Nazi domination or Constantine Maroulis's impending ouster from American Idol. More »
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By SethComment by scroll_lock: 9 of 13. A better contest would be to have a dance-off between the two. Get me MC Scat Cat,... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Paula Abdul Still Haunted By Chihuahua-Fart Demons
There's a little less than a week to go before Bravo begins airing episodes of Hey Paula, the hotly anticipated reality show capturing the narcotized, eyebrow-waxing adventures of everyone's favorite eccentric Chihuahua lady, Paula Abdul. To hold you over, we offer a brief clip in which Access Hollywood host Billy Bush pays Paula a house call, impressively rattling off the names of several dozen of her rodent-sized companions, before The One They Call Tulip—famed patsy in the American Idol judge's recent nose-shattering mishap—trots onto his lap to deliver a virtuosic backwind concerto. More »
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By SethComment by raincoaster: Chihuahuas are not dogs: they are fetus replacements, with sharp teeth. I cheer every time one is lost to the... more » | Other threads
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hollywood privacywatch
There Is No Sating Hollywood A-Listers' Hunger For Artisanal, Thin-Crust Pizza
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted a grocery-shopping Larry Birkhead getting a head start on Dannielynn's food-dependency issues. More » -
publicists
Paula Abdul Thinks Ex-Flack Didn't Jump On Enough Grenades For Her
We incorrectly assumed that as the end credits rolled on the American Idol finale, a designated producer would rush up to judge Paula Abdul, hand her a fist-sized pill for "nerve pain" to gnaw on for a few minutes, and then prop up her slumbering body in a janitorial closet, reviving her from her off-season hibernation only when the first group of Idol hopefuls arrived at January's cattle-call auditions. Abdul, however, has been quite active in the rags since last Wednesday night's sign-off show. She recently railed against how every slurred, on-camera utterance is unfairly scrutinized (can't a popular TV personality chemically manage her chronic pain without people jumping all over her when she momentarily forgets the order that makes strings of words comprehensible?), and today finds herself the subject of a Page Six story describing a "meltdown" she allegedly had on a conference call in which she "seems to be talking to a group of publicists at some point during the last week" about how her former flack wasn't properly servicing her crazy-person needs. An excerpt: More »
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By MarkComment by bedofnails: @Everybody Likes Pandas: Or a James Dean inspired Keanu Reeves more » | Other threads
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coping
Paula's Little Helpers Take The Edge Off For Lovable 'Idol' Judge
As the American Idol machine reboards its Magic Karaoke Spaceship and lifts off into the ether, perhaps the hardest part of it all comes in knowing that with it flies away the show's trusty center judge, Paula Abdul. Sure, she'll return when the entire sadomasochistic process begins anew in January, but for those of us who greedily relied upon her zonked-out, indecipherable energies being beamed to us twice a week through our TVs, there is little sweetness to our parting sorrow. Abdul recently opened up to OK! magazine, educating their readers about the excruciating physical conditions that led to a reliance on prescription painkillers: More »
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By SethComment by dollywould: I thought she was on stuff for the staph infection she got during a manicure? Damn, Paula, keep those stories... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Signs Paula Abdul Might Have Fallen Off The Wagon: A Feel-Good Round-Up
Tonight, we as a nation will have one last chance to choose our sixth American Idol, a coronation that will be completed on tomorrow's bloated, two-hour finale, an event unlikely to be made any more palatable by a surprise appearance by Prince or a moist-eyed David Hasselhoff. What we're most anticipating, however, is the possibility of an old-fashioned Paula Abdul toxic meltdown. The signs are all there: More » -
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By MarkComment by schvitzatura: Heath Ledger as "The Crow"? Has anyone gotten Jack Nicholson's reaction yet? more » | Other threads
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american idol
'Idol' Secrets Revealed: Paula Hearts Simon
A disappointingly coherent center American Idol judge Paula Abdul is offering us little to celebrate by way of memorable meltdowns this season. She did burst into tears last night, but who really cares about that if it isn't immediately followed by blacking out and some involuntary crowd surfing? At least we could still cling to one Idol truth (besides Ryan Seacrest being dwarfed by even the female contestants, regardless of whether or not he happens to be wearing heels), and that's that she and Simon Cowell hate each other's guts. Not so! says Abdul in a recent interview, calling Cowell "a really good friend" and likening him to an "antagonistic brother goofing on me." Alternately, she says she sees Randy Jackson as "kind of like the annoying guy who works in the cubicle next to you who says 'dawg' a lot? But like, no one really knows what he does? And he'll, like, eat the SnackWells in your top drawer when you expressly told him not to? Really, we're just co-workers. Maybe, like, once-in-a-blue-moon after-work-margarita friends, but nothing more." More » -
paula abdul
Paula Abdul Still Baffled By Persistent Rumors She Might Not Be 100% Sober
Relentlessly upbeat and intermittently intelligible center American Idol judge Paula Abdul is still explaining (and using almost exactly the same words) how her slurred, nonsensical, and sometimes unconscious appearances on national television are the result of a somewhat sideways view of life, and not, as many assume incorrectly, a predilection for straight-up Xanaxtinis: More » -
sightings
Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Jake Gyllenhaal Overwhelmed By Pinkberry Topping Selection
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in—the world is waiting. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw Paula Abdul browsing the self-med section at Book Soup: More » -
american idol
Paula Abdul: I Am Naturally Incomprehensible
In an attempt to refute widespread speculation that her recent spate of alternately incomprehensible/slurry/ fidgety/nap-riddled promotional appearances were caused by a pre-interview regimen of washing down a joint compound bucket brimming with a medley of prescription painkillers with an entire bottle of grain alcohol, embattled American Idol judge Paula Abdul insisted to the media gathered at Saturday's TCA press tour event that any suspicious mental impairment on her part is due entirely to her own naturally imbalanced neurochemicals: More »
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By MarkComment by MyThighsRHot4GoatFelons: Crushed Klonopin - rimmed margarita, anyone? Anyone? more » | Other threads
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american idol
This Just In: 'American Idol' Is A Very Popular Television Program
The moment that hit-starved Fox executives have been anxiously awaiting is finally here: the first overnight American Idol Nielsens, huge enough to erase the bitter memories of a dozen canceled OJ confession specials or failed sitcoms. The sixth season premiere of America's favorite talent show of the damned drew a (preliminary) average of 37.3 million viewers, and earned an 18-49 rating unseen since The One Where Chandler Takes Out His Pals And Then Turns The Gun On Himself (well, that's the way we like to remember it). Var offers perspective on the staggering opening night numbers: More »
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By MarkComment by VoicefromAfar: No thats Randy Jackson, Paula is the one sliding under the table, and Simon was the one trying to bang... more » | Other threads
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paula abdul
Paula Abdul Presents: A Tale Of Two Cities
Last week's round of Paula Abdul satellite interviews (we can't decide which we prefer: the perky Seattle duo who kill Abdul with kindness, knowing the longer they keep her there, the worse things will get, or the straightlaced San Francisco interviewer who can barely conceal his utter contempt for her every rocking, slurred, incoherent answer) called for some serious damage control. When a flack's half-assed "press-junket-related exhaustion" excuse didn't seem to do the trick, a seemingly sober (but only somewhat less incoherent) Paula dropped in on Ellen to explain what actually happened: More »
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By SethComment by GordonShumway: If anyone tries to feel my Vibeology, I'm blowing my rape whistle. more » | Other threads
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