Gawker
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Bitch Dibs!
Friday Fun Time: Watch O.J. Get A Minimum Of 15 Years
As a special end-of-the-week treat for you, we have this video of If I Did It author O.J. Simpson being sentenced in the Armed Sports-Memorabilia-Recovering Trial of the Century. Watch, as Judge Jackie Glass—whose name is temporarily on loan from the Museum of Blaxsploitation Cinema in Las Vegas, NV—first takes an especially delicious sip from a drinking straw before delivering the news. ("So, Mr. Simpson, the court has found as follows: Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Slurrrrrp. Slrrrrr. Sl. Slll. Sl. OK, where was I? Oh right, your sentence...") A little later you might notice Simpson glance down, perhaps to read the "YOU'RE FUCKED. SORRY!" note his lawyer had just scribbled on a legal pad. [CNN]
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By SethComment by JudyPaceFace: First off, let me say that I BELIEVE O.J. KILLED NICOLE AND RON. There. Now that I've said that, please... 4 Responses | Other threads
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short ends
Grazerhead Simpsonfied!
· None other than Museum of Hollywood Jerks inductee Brian Grazer stopped by The Simpsons again last night. We can hardly wait for his take on Everyone Poops. We smell Oscar! More » -
oj simpson
Disappointed O.J. Simpson Prepares Appeal, Deletes Acquittal Party Evite
So that does it. There will be no white Bronco to whisk O.J. Simpson homeward, no Cochranesque rhymes to grease a trail out the courtroom door. The Juice is cold and freshly squeezed, convicted late Friday on a dozen charges including armed robbery, assault and kidnapping with a deadly weapon. All told, Simpson faces life in prison for his role in the forcible theft of sports collectibles from a Las Vegas hotel room in Sept. 2007 (he's likelier to get seven to 10 years when sentenced Dec. 5), and while Simpson Murder Trial alums ranging from Fred Goldman to Marcia Clark are all but popping champagne corks at word of his date with the slammer, the all-white jury that convicted him insisted over the weekend that justice is blind — if not necessarily deaf. More »
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By STVComment by NotReadyForPrimeTime: Why don't they send him to Gitmo and be done with it? more » | Other threads
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Once Upon A People
'People' Unveils Massive Cover Archive Online, All We See Are Fabio's Pecs And John Travolta's Quads
It took them long enough, but People has finally seized the magical capabilities of the world wide web and uploaded each and every cover in its almost 45-year history online. And while we hand-picked a few of our favorites, from a very Dirk Diggler-looking John Travolta in 1983 to the sad black and white sight of Jennifer Aniston’s misty eyes looking up as Brad Pitt placed the wedding ring on her finger in 2000, we also featured a few after the jump that are slightly more disturbing. "Judge Judy Disrobed," and Brooke Shields doing her whole kiddie porn thing back in the 70s, for example. Plus, a very special throwback to a time when the world wondered whether Britney was looking “too sexy too soon” ... way back in 2000! More » -
celeb jurisprudence
O.J. Simpson Free After Violating The 'Don't Be A Psychotic Bullying Asshole' Stipulation Of His Bail Terms
Celebrity wife-killer O.J. Simpson spent the last five days in jail, the result of having left threatening, profanity-laced messages for the co-defendants in his Vegas hotel room armed shit-reclamation case. Clark County Judge Jackie Glass was not amused: More »
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By SethComment by overqualified: What's the difference between ignorance and arrogance? I don't know, and fuck you! more » | Other threads
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defamer
O.J. Simpson: That Lonely Guy Who'll Talk To Anyone On A Plane
"He knows in his heart he is totally innocent of these charges and believes in the jury system," O.J. Simpson attorney Yale Galanter said yesterday upon learning his client would stand trial for the now-infamous shit-recovery armed ambush of two sports memorabilia dealers in a third-rate Las Vegas hotel room. And while we have no doubt Galanter is at this very moment frantically scribbling down and crossing out potential catchphrases on a legal pad ("If the gun don't load, it can't explode!"), Simpson is clinging to the sunny side of life, even chatting up his fellow Delta passengers on a recent flight of Las Vegas to Fort Lauderdale. Reports a Page Six source: More » -
short ends
Catching Up With Some Amply Endowed Celebrities
· Either Adam Sandler's next movie is about the Geico Caveman they call Hung Like Woolly Mammoth, or we have a whole new appreciation for the actor. Either way, he has our attention. More » -
defamer
One of O.J.'s Las Vegas henchmen took a plea bargain, and made the following statement: "O.J. said 'Hey, just bring some firearms. He said ... 'we won't have to use 'em, but ... just to look tough, you know, so that these people know that, you know, we're here for business."' That constitutes conspiracy under Nevada law, making it look less and less likely that Simpson will walk away from this a free man—but when have we heard that one before? [USA Today]
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By SethComment by scroll_lock: Who actually uses the term "firearm" conversationally? more » | Other threads
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By MarkComment by Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.: Molly is leading the way for bringing back the reporter-as-hero mentality so prevalent in the 80s. more » | Other threads
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short ends
O.J. Decides To Pull One Last Job
· A Vegas casino. A high-stakes heist. A supremely smooth operator. You just had to know it wouldn't be long before the O.J.'s Eleven parodies started rolling down the interpikes. More »
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By MarkComment by Glass_Family: Is it too much to ask for people who make these video mash-ups to at least matte everything so it... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Only ET has the EXCLUSIVE! DETAILS! about the breed of fluffy lapdog brought onboard US Airways Flight 888 by fucking-shirt-reclaiming, rageoholic former running back O.J. Simpson's girlfriend during the couple's airborne journey from Las Vegas to Ft. Lauderdale late Wednesday night: "Christie brought her small black miniature Pomeranian onboard in a dog carrier." [ET Online] -
defamer
Only ET has the EXCLUSIVE! DETAILS! on the snack packs and beverages purchased by accused sports-memorabilia-burgling posse leader O.J. Simpson during last night's flight to Florida's Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport: "O.J. purchased a $3 snack pack for himself (the pack included chips, salsa, fruit bar, chocolate bar, cheese and breadsticks) and a $5 chicken caesar sandwich for his girlfriend and paid for the meal with a $50 bill. O.J. drank Coca-Cola and ice water while in flight, while Christie drank a small $5 bottle of red wine." [ET Online]
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By MarkComment by gwendemarco: Beats licking his bloodied knuckles during the last flight he took after committing a felony. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Only ET has the EXCLUSIVE! DETAILS! on potentially dangerous sports memorabilia repossessor O.J. Simpson's seat assignment on his four hour and twenty minute flight to Florida: "O.J. flew coach on US Airways Flight 888 from Las Vegas to Fort Lauderdale, FL, sitting in seat 4D while CHRISTIE PRODY, his girlfriend, sat in 4E. Both the former football star and his girlfriend boarded early. O.J.'s attorney, YALE GALANTER, sat in 4C and had to board with the rest of the passengers. Passengers were laughing and joking with O.J. as they boarded the flight." [ETOnline.com] -
defamer
An O.J. Simpson Out-On-Bail Round-Up
· Simpson was released today on $125,000 bail. He also had his passport confiscated, though he'll be able to travel within the U.S., by air, rail, or very slowly moving SUV. [Reuters] More »
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By SethComment by gwendemarco: @Cacafuego: You are so jaded. He's going to immediately resume looking for the real killer. more » | Other threads
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collections
Judge Denies Request To Give Fred Goldman O.J.'s Twice-Stolen Shit
A reinvigorated Fred Goldman, eager to capitalize on his $33.5 million 1997 civil suit ruling against O.J. Simpson, was undoubtedly pleased to learn If I Did It—the hypothetical double-murder confession whose ghostwriter claims is anything but hypothetical—is a hot enough seller to garner a second printing. With Simpson's promotional tie-in of an arrest, Goldman's eyeballs again transformed into spinning dollar signs, as he hoped a judge would award him the much-contested memorabilia at the center of the Palace Station armed robbery—a request the judge rejected: More » -
defamer
O.J. Simpson Unhappy With The Taking Of His F'ing Shirt
After teasing the world yesterday with a preview of the audio tape of the Vegas hotel room raid that has landed O.J. Simpson in jail, sports memorabilia repossession mediator TMZ.com has now posted the entire confrontation (in both censored and uncensored flavors!), a clip consisting of nearly five thrilling minutes of surreptitiously recorded accusations of shit-stealing, mother-fucking, and other sundry violations of the vigilante running back's trust. Just for fun, close the door to your office, turn up your computer speakers, and play the audio, seeing if you can trick your still-groggy co-workers into believing that a possibly armed O.J. is threatening you with bodily harm if you don't immediately hand over the stapler you've obtained from a shady Swingline dealer. More »
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By MarkComment by thefridayforty: Also, someone tell TMZ that things are only inaudible when you can't hear them. more » | Other threads
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defamer
An O.J. Simpson Arrest Round-Up
In time to find himself the subject of Emmy acceptance speeches delivered by extremely grateful late night talk show monologue writers, itinerant golfer and bestselling confessional co-author O.J. Simpson was arrested late yesterday morning for his alleged armed robbery of a sports memorabilia dealer in a Vegas hotel room Thursday night. A round-up of the latest developments: More » -
defamer
What Happens To O.J. Simpson In Vegas, Sparks A Police Investigation In Vegas
It will come as little comfort to anyone to learn that double jeopardy-exploiting If I Did It author O.J. Simpson has decided to take the law into his own hands—having, as best as we can surmise, entered a hotel room at the Palace Station Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas last night accompanied by several armed men, who then proceeded to reappropriate a wide variety of mementos that once belonged to the former running back, including the suit he wore the day of his acquittal. More »
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By SethComment by BabylonSister: Oh, for the love of god, please let the good people of Nevada jury pool have more sense than the... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Barnes & Noble Concedes The O.J.-Confession-Craving Customer Is Always Right
After throwing their arms up at the futility of deciding whether O.J. Simpson's If I Did It should be stocked in their Hypothetical Memoirs section, in their Sociopathic Self-Help section, or in their How To section shelved alphabetically under "double homicide," Barnes & Noble ultimately decided not to carry the book at all, claiming their buyers anticipated demand would be too low to warrant it. But that was before it skyrocketed to the #1 spot on their website's Hourly Top 100 charts (it's currently idling at #11), offering a keen financial incentive to backpedal on their original decision: More » -
defamer
Barnes & Noble Draws The Sleaze-Lit Line At O.J.'s 'If I Did It'
Our vision of the lobbies of major book chains being decorated by cardboard standees, featuring a smiling, two-dimensional O.J. Simpson holding a ski-mask in one hand and a blood-stained knife in the other, may never come to pass, as Barnes & Noble has announced it has no plans to carry If I Did It, the little confessional murder-memoir that could. From the AP report: More »
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By SethComment by raincoaster: @MisterHippity: Two words, baby: Crispin Glover. more » | Other threads
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defamer
'If I Did It' Finally Set To Make Fred Goldman Stacks And Stacks Of Blood Money
The extended saga of If I Did It—the O.J. Simpson double-murder confessional brought dazzlingly to life by the helium-voiced inflections of Sparkle the Clown—has nearly reached its predictably repugnant conclusion. Having won the publishing rights, Fred Goldman has now succeeded in finding a publisher willing to distribute the self-help book for homicidal ex-husbands, to the dismay of Nicole Brown Simpson's sister: More »
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By SethComment by NotReadyForPrimeTime: That retarded picture of OJ makes me laugh, I can't help it. Does that make me a bad person? more » | Other threads
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defamer
Sparkle Injects Some Much-Needed Levity Into O.J.'s 'If I Did It'
Despite Fred Goldman's best efforts, there really is no stopping internet leaks of If I Did It, O.J. Simpson's first-person meditation on life, love, and how one might have gone about slashing two people to death in a jealous rage, if one were inclined to do so. But who really has the time or patience to download a copy and slog through its sociopathic, pedestrian prose when the WOW guys have arranged for Sparkle, honors graduate of the John Wayne Gacy Jr. Clown Academy, to read the book's first chapter for you. [Warning: If you suffer from even the mildest clown and/or freed-murderer phobias, don't worry in the least! Sparkle is a delight!] Click on the image above for the fun to start. More »
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By SethComment by NotReadyForPrimeTime: @Cutting Makes You Sexy: Of course I see the severity of the statement. However, I am wondering if Brian... more » | Other threads
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defamer
O.J. Simpson's 'If I Did It' Makes Its Long-Delayed Internet Leak Debut
Some exciting news for those among you disappointed at never having gotten a peek inside If I Did It, leisure enthusiast O.J. Simpson's disclaimer-heavy memoir outlining how one might, say, brutally stab one's wife and her friend to death outside a Brentwood condo, hypothetically speaking. TMZ.com has obtained a copy of the unpublished manuscript—rights for which were recently awarded by a federal bankruptcy judge to Ron Goldman's family—and republished excerpts. Among them, a paragraph in which a hazy Simpson assesses the post-double-homicidal-scuffle scene: More »
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By SethComment by Little Mintz Sunshine: Stupid lawyers...TMZ has a Romanian sighting of our patron saint, Kiefer. Harvey is truly doing the Lord's work. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Fred Goldman Honors Dead Son By Shopping O.J.'s Confession Around Town
If I Did It, O.J. Simpson's memoir-cum- homicide-handbook, simply refuses to wander off quietly to the place where tastelessly conceived double-murder confessionals go to die. Fred Goldman won the auction rights to the cancelled project, and has been actively shopping the book around town, with the reasoning that the only way to really get back at the man he is convinced killed his son is to have him watch helplessly as the If I Did It-dollars roll in. Making matters even more bizarre, Simpson is now taking Goldman to court to block the auction: More »
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By SethComment by Trixie from Toronto: I think Fred should maybe just get it over with and off O.J. No jury would convict him. more » | Other threads
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defamer
O.J. Simpson's 'If I Did It' Poised To Be Next Selection From The 'Sociopathic Pseudoconfessional of the Month Club' After Judge's Ruling
The cancelled O.J. Simpson confessional multimedia extravaganza, If I Did It, Here's How It Happened, may have cost Judith Regan her job and reputation, and News Corp. a great deal of embarrassment and unwanted press, but the exonerated subject ended up coming out mostly ahead: The show never aired, copies of the book were mostly destroyed save for a few on eBay, and Simpson claims his fee for the hypothetical mea culpa was quickly cashed and spent. Now, an L.A. superior court judge has ruled that the rights to the book—one of O.J.'s only remaining assets—must be put up for auction, with all proceeds paid to Fred Goldman, who's still owed the majority of a $33.5 million 1997 civil suit judgment: More » -
defamer
Defamer Casting: If He Did It, This Is How The Casting Notice Happened
We imagine that a recent Law & Order story-pitching session went something like this: gather around the conference room table, flip open a newspaper, point at the big picture of O.J. Simpson, grunt in satisfaction at a job well done, order in some lunch, then call it a day. A tipster passed along the casting notice generated by the above feat of creative exertion: More » -
defamer
O.J. Simpson's Hypothetical Confession Sounds A Lot Like Actual Confession: Update
Newsweek got its hands on the crucial "confession" chapter of If I Did It, the kiboshed publishing fiasco that allegedly contained O.J. Simpson's answer to the $880,000 question of how he might have executed the murders of his ex-wife and her friend Ronald Goldman. (Not obtained were the heavily padded book's other, less controversial chapters, such as "Quick n' Easy Dinners for the Bachelor Dad," and "Lower Your Handicap the O.J. Way!") Newsweek reporter Mark Miller, who covered the original trial, summarizes O.J.'s account: More » -
defamer
O.J. Simpson Sued By Father Of Man He Would Have Killed In Just Such A Fashion, If He Had Done It
The aborted O.J. Simpson If I Did It confessional book and TV special has already claimed the livelihood and reputation of publisher Judith Regan—who may or may not have hubristically blamed her downfall on the machinations of a secret society of dreidle-spinning ill-wishers—but that brings little comfort to the victims' families; particularly Fred Goldman, who watched in disbelief as Simpson told interviewers he'd already spent whatever blood money he'd made from the deal, yet has seen none of the $38 million awarded to him in the civil ruling over his son's wrongful death. Goldman filed suit against Simpson today, and, according to the court papers posted by The Smoking Gun, he's coming for News Corp. next: More » -
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By MarkComment by The Gen X Eurotrash Jetsetter Club: Chris Rock must be friends with Stallone's psychic mom. And the BEST part about that clip is that there are literally... more » | Other threads
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fox
After Sweeps Disappointment, Fox Closes Its Eyes And Dreams Of 'Idol' Nielsen Ass-Kickings To Come
The November ratings sweeps period is over, and, as expected, nearly every network is claiming their own share of victory: CBS in total viewership, ABC in the coveted™ 18-49 demographic, and NBC in maintaining Studio 60's level of 7.5 million or so incredibly affluent, upscale fans, a moral triumph much more satisfying than the hollow wins trumpeted by their better-rated rivals. Not exactly pleased with the results is Fox, which has resigned itself to waiting for Simon Cowell and Kiefer Sutherland to once again rescue them from the rest of their schedule. Reports the LAT: More » -
defamer
eBay: The One-Stop Black Friday Destination For All Your Sociopathic Celebrity Shopping Needs
Rupert Murdoch may have gotten into the holiday spirit by ordering a good, old-fashioned book burning, but that hasn't stopped several leaked copies of If I Did It, O.J. Simpson's description of how he might have gone about committing the heinous crimes he pretends not to have done, from finding their way onto eBay. Both HarperCollins and the Brown family have taken legal measures to see that every copy be destroyed, but eBay reps insist typing "If I Did It" into a search bar isn't as easy as it looks: More » -
defamer
O.J. Simpson As Surprised As Anyone That His Paid Confession Would Be Promoted As Such
In his first interview since Rupert Murdoch pulled the plug on his pseudoconfessional ratings stunt spectacular, O.J. Simpson told a Miami radio show this morning that the entire "Hey—how'd you like to make an easy couple mil by describing how you would have gone about the tidy disposal of the ex-wife you loved so much (despite beating her senseless and threatening her life for years), and whoever else might have been around her at the time?" idea wasn't his, and, furthermore, that the interview contained nary an admission of guilt. Among Simpson's claims: More »
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By SethComment by The Gen X Eurotrash Jetsetter Club: Okay, if the book really isn't what the title claimed, then what is it about? OJ's amazing knowledge of... more » | Other threads
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short ends
Short Ends: Naked People, Stabby People, Chokey People
· The arrival of these photos has been threatened for a while, but Courtney Love finally shows off the new girls. More »
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By MarkComment by TraderJoesHo: And she thinks we, THE DEFAMERS, are to blame for Frances' issues? more » | Other threads
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fox
Breaking: Now We'll Never Know How O.J. Would Have Done It If He Did It
If I Did It, Here's How It Happened, Fox's planned O.J. Simpson kinda-sorta confession special and lavishly illustrated, accompanying coffee table book, are both dead in the water, a hit ordered directly from the top by News Corp's corporate overlord, Rupert Murdoch: More » -
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By MarkComment by Trixie from Toronto: I have seen that girl's petunia more than I have seen my own, and slightly more than I have seen... more » | Other threads
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nbc
NBC Far Too Classy, Poor To Make Play For OJ Murder Special
While the headlines to this story blare O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened publisher Judith Regan's declaration that she considers the hypothetical double-murder how-to manual that Fox is gleefully adapting into two hours of stab-happy, civilization-eroding TV programming to be "his confession," we're more interested in the anecdote about the network that turned down a chance to air the special: More »
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By MarkComment by Redondo Dubonnet: Let Fox put YOU in the killer's seat! more » | Other threads
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By MarkComment by Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.: Sorry to double-post, but it just occurred to me that Anna-Nicole could really take a page out of OJ's upcoming... more » | Other threads
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1-38 of 38 for "Defamer, OJ Simpson"
