Gawker
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exes
Nick Lachey offers ex-wife Jessica some backhanded support. [Extra]
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justin timberlake
The Three Most Annoying Aspects Of Justin Timberlake's Latest Jessica Simpson Impersonation
As we’ve noted in the past, Stinky master of predicting the future of love sounds Justin Timberlake isn’t quite on the level of Richard Pryor or Lenny Bruce when it comes to comedy routines. After failing to elicit laughs at the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame earlier this year, and trying out the rarely-cute attempt to evade relationship questions on Leno, Timberlake is evidently still fixated on proving he’s just bursting with comedic prowess. His latest stunt? Impersonating Jessica Simpson at the Timberlake-hosted ESPYs, airing this Sunday, by wearing a cheap blonde wig, standing in front of a cut-out of her daisy dukes, and making frightening facial expressions supposedly meant to resemble the time-traveling Tony Romo groupie. The good news? Despite these photos doing little to inspire even a smirk from us, we feel the need to point out Timberlake’s impressively hilarious impersonations of the past on Saturday Night Live, both as a tweaked out awesomer-than-thou Ashton Kutcher, and a far better Jessica Simpson impression years before: More »
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Comment by TimGunn: I don't understand how Jessica Simpson is at all relevant. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Papa Joe Simpson Officially More Ruinous To Daughters' Lives Than Dina Lohan
Has Joe Simpson gone from a pimpy fame-hungry Dadager to a bonafide nutcase? Not that we're surprised or anything, but his recent interferences with daughter Jessica's "relationship" with quarterback Tony Romo suggest there may be a few gurney-riding trips in his future. As OK! reports this week, Joe's intrusive behavior has Romo's family feeling like their son is being used and, even more disturbing, he showed up uninvited to a private Mexico vacation Jess and Tony took earlier this year. According to OK's source, "Whatever hopes Tony had of his relationship with Jessica turning into something real pretty much ended with Joe's stunt. According to his friends, they're pretty much just friends with benefits." But judging from Jess's romantic past, isn't Friend With Benefits pretty much her primary career these days? More »
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Comment by jasonelias: @TurdBlossom: Yeah, he even talked about his daughter's boobs. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Though we caught not a single minute of NBC's gospel-singing throwdown Clash of the Choirs, we nonetheless thought you might like to know that the ragtag group assembled by Nick Lachey (a 20-strong force that "included teachers, a chili server, a nurse, cell phone and software salesmen, choir directors and college students" ) was triumphant on last night's series finale. While we're sure the hard-fought victory was sweet enough on its own, Nick and Dancing with the Stars champ brother Drew have to be pleased that the result has firmly established the Lacheys as the winningest family in the history of televised semicelebrity talent competitions. [Breitbart] -
you like that nice hard poll?
Could You Come If You Had To Look At Nick Lachey's Sex Face? A Poll
Ah, sex face. The histrionic Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god YES of the male species! But where we've all been the widely-mocked overdramatic moaner across the hall at least once, no one ever gets to laugh at the little constipated boy intensity on the face of the partner forcing us to fake it that hard. Which is why we are so very grateful to the Mexican paparazzi for capturing, albeit grainily, Nick Lachey giving it to Vanessa Minnillo from behind so she doesn't have to look at him. ANYWAY, please send us good sex face photos, because we reeeeally scraped the bottom of the barrel to bring you this sorta NSFW sex face poll. [Jezebel]
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By MoeComment by cronermanium: Lachey is not having a good time with her. She obviously likes it. But he's working a job,... more » | Other threads
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nick lachey
Nick Lachey-Endorsed Online Community Offers Certified Celebrity Friendship
With the exercise ball endorsement racket not as lucrative as it once was, Nick Lachey has decided to look elsewhere for goods and services to which he can attach his name, which has evolved into a trusted brand synonymous with bad music and tabloid oversaturation. YFly, the latest venture to get the Nick Lachey stamp of approval, is a recent entrant into the crowded category of online communities. But where field leader MySpace may reign supreme with its sheer number of subscribers, it also suffers from a scourge of faked celebrity home pages. Not YFly, however, which guarantees "real celebrities, athletes, and artists - no posers!" among the "kick a** people" in its database. And how do you know your new friend is the "DaREALJessAlba," and not just some balding, middle-aged impostor preying on horny and gullible teenage boys? By marking their profiles "Certified Celebrity." Their brief FAQ explains how Lachey fits into the picture: More » -
media
Us Weekly, The FBI, And The Mystery Of the Missing Hot Chicks Page
We were trying to make sense of today's LAT story on the ongoing FBI investigation of a former Us Weekly editor accused of hacking into (read: using someone else's password to access) the magazine's e-mail system to gain an unfair competitive advantage in obtaining scoops about the newest busty brunette with whom Nick Lachey may be having intercourse, when our eye drifted over to the Related News box at the right hand side of the page. The article does mention Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards by name, and is certainly an "entertainment" story, but there is no explicit mention of "hot chicks"—trust us, we checked. (In the name of research, we also visited the web presence of the aforementioned brunette to confirm her hair color and relative bustiness, and she checks out on both counts. We are nothing if not thorough.) But compounding the sin of the Topix Related News box's cynical attempt at attracting click-throughs with suggestive keywords is the fact that no "Hot Chicks" topic page exists. [Audible gasp.] We trust that the FBI will immediately abandon its piddling Us Weekly investigation and launch a new probe into Topix's criminally misleading practices. More » -
nick lachey
Jessica Simpson Makes Nick Lachey An Offer He Can Refuse
According to TMZ.com, Jessica Simpson has offered Nick Lachey a divorce settlement of "less than $1.5 million," an f-off number way beneath the 50 percent he's entitled to, with Simpson allegedly banking on the fact that Lachey will sooner accept the sum than engage in a nasty and embarrassing legal battle for his share of her earnings. Simpson's father/manager/creepy stringpuller Joe Simpson put in a call, TMZ reports, attempting to convince his former son-in-liability to take the money and run: More »
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By SethComment by KelleyWatt: (not sure why I'm commenting on this site...not my style to do so, but I just can't help to point... more » | Other threads
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jessica simpson
Jessica Simpson Crushed Nick Didn't Coordinate Divorce Tell-All With Her
Nick Lachey's tearful testimonial to Rolling Stone about the end of his marriage—you know, the one that was poised to perfectly coincide with the release of his album and land him on the cover, but instead landed him on the front of RS sister publication Us Weekly working his best gay cruise billboard model look—has devastated ex-wife Jessica Simpson, according to an anonymous, yappy-mouthed "friend" of Lachey's:
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By SethComment by Picka Little, Talka Little: Nick and Jessica have become the most tear-soaked turn-offs of the decade, ad nauseum. They should have teamed up... more » | Other threads
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nick lachey
Nick Lachey Conned Into Seeming Really Gay On 'US Weekly' Cover
Page Six reports that Nick Lachey opened up to Rolling Stone about the sad disintegration of his cherishedreality showmarriage because he was promised the story would run on its cover. But wily RS publisher Jann Wenner pulled a C-list bait-and-switch on Lachey, demoting him to the cover of his other publication, glossy rag US Weekly. What's more, Nick appeared on US shirtless and engaged in the classic gay personals photo cheat stance: arms crossed and folded, thereby inflating manboobs to maximum capacity. More »
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By SethComment by Bubba Barney: Actually, straight porn as well, would work. more » | Other threads
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nick lachey
Nick Lachey Admits He Was Fired From His Marriage
Exer-ball infomercial spokesperson Nick Lachey opened up to Rolling Stone about exactly what went down in his divorce from Jessica Simpson, putting to rest any lingering uncertainty regarding rumors that their marriage was a played-for-the-cameras sham, that her manager/father is a meddling creep, and that Simpson was sleeping around. Turns out, the rumors were mostly true: More »
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By SethComment by Bubba Barney: Nick wasn't exactly innocent either. Didn't he canoodle with chicas in Vegas and NYC? I am on his side though. more » | Other threads
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nick lachey
Nick Lachey Finds Career Comeback As Exercise Video Salesman
We were getting a touch concerned for Nick Lachey first he's reduced to asking Jessica Simpson for spousal support, then we watched him stand on the sidelines as little brother Drew cha-cha'd his way into America's hearts. But Page Six reports that Drew's career is right back on track, with an exciting new TV project geared directly to the flabby insomniac demo: More »
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