Gawker
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gay panic
Bruno Too Gay for MPAA
The MPAA's "no homo" rule strikes again! Sascha Baron Cohen's new mockumentary Bruno, in which he terrorizes straight men with flagrant gayness, has earned an NC-17, partly because of a scene depicting buttsex.
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36,504
86
Comment by mfnher: I don't know. I had a really tough time watching Borat. I was embarassed for the people in the movie.... 6 Responses | Other threads
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jack valenti
Jack Valenti Once on FBI's 10 Most Probably Gay List
It's been two years since silver-maned MPAA drum-beater Jack Valenti passed to the great ratings board in the sky, where he's been gleefully defending the afterlife's classification system. (Heaven: PG-13 for strong language, partial angel-nudity.) More » -
mpaa
40 Reasons to Wish the MPAA Ratings System an Unhappy 40th Birthday
The MPAA ratings system tomorrow celebrates its 40th birthday — four full decades of tormenting filmmakers, distributors and, ultimately, audiences with an inconsistent moral code symbolized by those infamous G, PG, PG-13, R and NC-17 ratings. In an interview published Thursday in Time, MPAA chief Dan Glickman and ratings board chair Joan Graves reflected warmly on the system's evolution over the years; and while we agree that Hollywood's self-governance is preferable to the zealotry of the Hays Code and other puritanical watchdogs who preceded it, Graves and Co. remain the city's worst censors by any other name. So join us after the jump to commemorate the MPAA's milestone with a look back at 40 decisions affirming its less-than-inspiring legacy. Unhappy 40th, everyone! More »
8,288
By STVComment by Cam/ron: Jaws only got a PG rating despite that Robert Shaw was chewed like Slim Jim. Thank you MPAA for exposing... 1 Responses | Other threads
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mpaa
Party Clown Dan Glickman Helps Washington Celebrate Ratings' 40th Birthday
It seems fitting that on a day when pigs and their lipstick are a subject of national discourse, MPAA boss Dan Glickman would add a bit of Hollywood color with a gushing, glimmering tribute to his institution's widely reviled ratings system. The infamous G, PG, R and the disused X celebrate their 40th anniversary Nov. 1, trailed by the PG-13 (est. 1984) and NC-17 (est. 1990) denotations; as Glickman reportedly told a gathering today in Washington, the ratings are "synonymous with the First Amendment ... with political, artistic and creative expression in this country": More »
303
By STVComment by Greasy Thumb Guzik: It wasn't PG at first, it was M, for mature when it started. more » | Other threads
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the dark knight
'Max Payne' Director On 'Dark Knight's PG-13: 'MPAA S*cked Warners' C*ck'
You might have caught a movie this summer by the name of The Dark Knight—a little film that featured [SPOILER ALERT] pencils through skulls, long-winded monologues about surgical disfigurement, and one incinerated Maggie Gyllenhaal—and at times thought to yourselves, "Perhaps this wasn't the best choice for my daughter's Girl Scouts troop monthly Fun Night outing." But it was precisely its PG-13 rating that helped catapult the Chris Nolan film to its current record-breaking box office take of over five hundred gazillion dollars. Other directors are now wondering who at the MPAA they have to fuck to get a similar hall pass on their own darkly violent visions (and please, please God let it not be the notoriously scissor-happy Joan "The Snipper" Graves). But according to Max Payne director John Moore, it was the reverse scenario of the MPAA handing out the sexual favors to the filmmakers: More »
4,362
By SethComment by yikesahootie: MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL DIES??? Signed, Very Late to This Particular Party 1 Responses | Other threads
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zack and miri make a porno
Movie Poster Banned For Alluding To Seth Rogen's Sexuality
The MPAA, the cabal charged with protecting American decency through movie regulation, has banned a promo poster for the upcoming Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen flick Zack And Miri Make A Porno, just before its debut in Toronto. Too blowjob-y. Considering the film's title, the only surprise is that the poster was so bland. But not bland enough! Now the forbidden ad will be seen only in Canada, as well as on dozens and dozens of websites, including this one: More »
21,120
Comment by Baroness: Anyone else sick of the Apatovian science-fiction that someone like Rogen gets a girl like that? O rly? 4 Responses | Other threads
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mpaa
Meet Joan Graves, the Most Powerful Censor in the Film Industry
Believe it or not, half-ass blogging neophyte Patrick Goldstein has kind of a genuine scoop today at The Big Picture: A heads-up to an interview with CARA (Classifcation And Ratings Administration) board head Joan Graves, arguably the most notorious (and notoriously private) movie censor of the last 50 years. Of course, it's not Goldstein's interview, but rather his wife's, banished to the relatively innocuous comfort of Graves's alumni magazine at Stanford. But that doesn't make it an any-less-terrifying glimpse behind the scenes of the ratings board's "parent-friendly" tyranny: More »
2,033
By STVComment by ColbertNation: @WGARefugee: You've got me there. It is ridiculously expensive. more » | Other threads
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the incredible hulk
Anti-Smoking Advocates Warn of Encroaching 'Hulk' Nemesis 'Emphysema'
Green skin, black lungs: That's what smoking-in-film watchdog group the American Medical Association Alliance is accusing Universal of showcasing in The Incredible Hulk, and thereby encouraging its teen audiences of picking up the deadly habit in order to emulate the cool on-screen persona of William Hurt's stogie-loving army general. From their press release: More » -
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defamer
Help is On the Way For Children Threatened by 'Hulk Smash Hands'
It's been a while since The Incredible Hulk lumbered into a completely fabricated media controversy, a drought no doubt prompting the LA Times to report today's scandal that... that... Sweet Jesus, we can't even write it. John Horn, would you please step in? More »
1,552
By STVComment by Brenda Dickson's Vagine: @hummingpenguin: There was a 6 year old sitting next to me when I went to see 8 mile a few... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Just in time for blockbuster season, Ad Age brings into crisp relief the latest crisis befalling multiplexes around the country: Evil, evil popcorn. "According to an Agriculture Department report, next year's corn stocks are expected to plunge to a 13-year low and, as a result, corn-futures contracts have soared to an all-time high," notes reporter Claude Brodesser-Akner. "This can be attributed to the demand for ethanol, which will claim 40% of next year's corn crop, munching away at the margins of theaters that rely on concession sales for as much as 45% of their revenue." The author has more stats as well, none more distressing than that citing an 80% markup currently affecting popcorn and beverages concessions. Wait — except for maybe the one that claims 63% of moviegoers over 12 don't mind ads before the films. The whole thing has MPAA president Bob Pisano predicting "mutually assured destruction," with viewers retreating to the comfort of their homes. Defamer's solution: Booze, naturally, and a section of 21-and-over seats to make it work with the law. Yes, they'll have some drunks, but they do already; who else is the market for The Love Guru? [Ad Age] -
defamer
Movie Industry Mouthpieces Shockingly Confident in Movie Industry's Recession Resiliency
In an environment as volatile and prone to bullshit as the film business is, we tip our caps to the guileless souls who keep it real when things are looking down. Particularly people like MPAA president Dan Glickman, who, when asked by Time Magazine how the industry's '08 crop of retreads, sequels and adaptations might weather the sluggish economy, steadfastly refused to toe the company line:"When times are bad, our business seems to buck the trend," says Dan Glickman. ... "The movies are great therapy. It's a lot cheaper than a psychiatrist." ...
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917
By STVComment by raincoaster: Just add a little recession-friendly alcohol behind the counters, though, and hear those cash registers sing. I like the way you... more » | Other threads
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movies
Oscar Screener Piracy Less Of A Problem, Thanks To Regular Piracy
Since the MPAA tried to ban screeners of Oscar-nominated films over piracy fears in 2003, the risk of those screeners leaking to the Internet has actually fallen, according to research by journalist/programmer/dot-com founder Andy Baio. But a month before the ceremony, all but six of this year's 34 nominated films have been leaked online. Below, how movie studios' fear of piracy (okay, "stealing") was the best thing that happened to pirates. Plus, how a studio's fear of piracy kills a movie's Oscar chances. More » -
defamer
Innocent Data Entry Error Triples Reported College-Student Movie Piracy Numbers; MPAA Apologizes For Previous Call To Have All Universities Burned To The Ground
· Whoopsies! The MPAA admits that a 2005 study "incorrectly concluded" that movie piracy by college students is responsible for 44 percent of the industry's domestic losses, claiming that a "data entry" error ever so slightly inflated the actual "key number" of 15 percent. [THR] More » -
defamer
The Ultimate MPAA Anti-Piracy Ad
Even though the anti-piracy ad embedded above was mocked up by the writers of British (and soon to be NBC) sitcom The IT Crowd, we wouldn't be too surprised if the MPAA was already working on a version to run before American films to help stop the widespread disrespecting of copyrights. Sure, they'll need to change small details like having its scofflaw defecate into a more-recognizable LAPD hat rather than a quaint bobby helmet, but the Brits have already done the rest of the work in communicating to file-sharing teens the core message that downloading a camcorded copy of Good Luck Chuck will earn them a bullet in their bittorrent-addled brains. More »
1,089
By MarkComment by BabylonSister: @Miss d: Yeah, I think your punishment for downloading a recent Hollywood film is actually having a copy of it... more » | Other threads
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defamer
It doesn't have any mention of "grizzly images," but this list of MPAA ratings justifications does have an "intense depiction of very bad weather", a Jeffersonian "bawdy puppet show," and "strong bloody ninja violence." [Matineer]
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By MarkComment by deusdiabolus: ...so it's got furry, stocky gay men in it? more » | Other threads
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2,237
By SethComment by BabylonSister: And they came off as at least 70 IQ points higher (each) than Li'l Miss Caitlin, aka The Miss Teen... more » | Other threads
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trade roundup
Fox Throws Hands In The Air, Decides It Has No Choice But To Make 'Dallas' As A Comedy
· Realizing that no matter what their vision was going in for a long-planned, big-screen adaptation of Dallas, the final result would be hilarious, Regency and 20th Century have finally decided to just give up and officially make it as a comedy. Betty Thomas will direct, and John Travolta will still star as JR Ewing, playing the part in only a slightly bigger fashion as a nod to the project's new direction. [Variety] More »
1,828
By MarkComment by ericdsnider: Travolta's head is so big he'll have to wear a 15-gallon hat. (ba-DUM) more » | Other threads
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defamer
Lucky And Flo To Receive Malaysia's Highest Honor
We're happy to report that Lucky and Flo, the two bacon-lovingest detectives in all of the MPAA, have nearly completed their Malaysian tour of duty, during which they uncovered millions of dollars worth of counterfeit DVDs while successfully evading the bounty hunters who sought to deliver their doggie heads on a plate. Unlike their annoying, Jason Lee-voiced big screen counterpart, however, these canine heroes are every bit the real deal, and the Malaysian government is throwing them a ceremony to show their gratitude: More »
792
By SethComment by BabylonSister: Was there a live performance of Thriller? Oh, wait, wrong Pacific Rim nation. more » | Other threads
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defamer
At Thursday afternoon's Cinerama Dome celebration of the memory of late MPAA icon Jack Valenti, Steven Bochco offered these words of tribute: "He was the human equivalent of the iPhone. He was a small, sleek package with irresistible features." It's probably best that Valenti himself didn't live to see the iPhone era himself, as he likely would have seen the device as "the Son of Sam of intellectual property theft waiting to blast away the young lovers of copyright as they make out in the front of a parent's Oldsmobile, an infernal machine that infuriatingly allows the brazen pirate to call up his friends and brag about how easy it is to steal food from the mouths of hard-working Hollywood professionals." [LAT]
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By MarkComment by Little Mintz Sunshine: Aw. So sweet. Reminds me of my grandpa's memorial service when his former accountant compared him to the Beta format.... more » | Other threads
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defamer
More 'Captivity' Ad Fun: Elisha Cuthbert Vs. The Grizzly Bears
The producers of Captivity, still reeling from protests about their overly graphic, unauthorized billboards, should gird themselves for a fresh round of outrage from the public. Once it's discovered that their movie contains disturbing images of star Elisha Cuthbert being disembowelled by sadistic bears, they'll likely face protests by PETA, and be forced to fall back once again on the disingenuous explanation that they're just trying to tell an uplifting story of grizzly empowerment. More »
4,273
By MarkComment by NotReadyForPrimeTime: To Everybody Likes Pandas: Yeah, that animatronics panda was pretty lame. I think James Cameron was filming Titanic at the... more » | Other threads
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propaganda
Dan Glickman: We Are Living In A Golden Age Of Hollywood Crap
To celebrate a summer movie season that has delivered an unprecedented, soul-crushing string of record-breaking pirate-, ogre-, and superhero-related sequels, MPAA spirit squad captain Dan Glickman has grabbed his pom-poms and megaphone and headed for the Huffington Post to lead the world in a call-and-response "Holly!"..."WOOD!" cheer, careful not to tear anything amid his flurry of ecstatic scissor-kicks. Glickman reminds us that the while the MySpaces and the YouTubes may have their place in modern life, nothing beats a wholesome trip to the multiplex to watch horny college girls get eviscerated by sadistic hostel-keepers for old-fashioned community-building: More » -
defamer
Anti-Smoking Activists Not Buying MPAA's Lip Service
Back on Thursday, MPAA head Dan Glickman attempted to mollify an increasingly militant anti-tobacco lobby by introducing a complicated algorithm for adjusting the ratings for films in which the filthy, "increasingly...unacceptable behavior" of smoking is prominently depicted, which takes into account such factors as pervasiveness, historical context, and how many sexual partners a protagonist accumulates directly from the image-boost an omnipresent Marlboro affords him. More »
1,467
By MarkComment by Little Mintz Sunshine: And yet no health warning for a John Williams score. No justice. No peace. more » | Other threads
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ratings
MPAA To Now Designate Movies As Rated Light, Ultra Light, And Menthol
As his first major order of business since the passing of his larger-than-life predecessor, current MPAA honcho Dan Glickman has announced that the federal ratings board will take the unprecedented measure of factoring in on-screen cigarette smoking into their ratings decisions. But rather than risking penalizing a worthy, smoke-filled-room movie like Good Night and Good Luck with a rating of "LC-17: Parents Strongly Cautioned Some Material May Indirectly Lead to Lung Cancer," the board has established several mitigating circumstances: More » -
defamer
Then Again, Maybe 'Spider-Man 3' Will Be Huge
· After shattering a number of box office records in Asia, Spider-Man 3 is now making a mockery of European ticket-buying benchmarks. Based on this preliminary data, we now predict a $400 million opening weekend in America, kicking off an eventual $3 billion domestic run. [Variety] More » -
defamer
Hollywood PallbearerWatch: Spielberg, Arnold Draw Honorary Duty At Valenti Funeral
· 3,000 attend the Spider-Man 3 Tribeca Film Festival premiere in Astoria, Queens, uncharitably described as "roughly the east coast equivalent of Van Nuys." We hope nobody from Var is planning any trips to that borough in the near future, as we fear for their safety after that slight. [Variety] More » -
trade roundup
A Trade Paper Salute To Jack Valenti
· Variety remembers recently deceased MPAA legend Jack Valenti, calling him "colorful," "charismatic," a "prime mover behind the movie ratings system," and the "industry's most ardent cheerleader." Also: "The silver-haired Valenti was a natty dresser and courtly gentleman who enjoyed using five-dollar words and arcane historical and literary allusions as he spoke out on numerous issues, all of which seemed to get him into a high lather." [Variety] More » -
defamer
Trade Round-Up: Williams, Travolta To Form Latest Unholy Buddy Comedy Union
· No, sillies! His name is Gay! LOL! CMT would never hire a real Gay! [Variety] More » -
defamer
Lucky And Flo Hightail It To The Philippines
Lucky and Flo, the MPAA's quadruped crimefighting duo that's a DVD pirates' worst, furry-faced nightmare, have left Malaysia for the shores of the Philippines, putting some much-needed distance between them and any Malaysian mercenaries out to claim the reported $14,286 bounty on their heads. Currently in Manila, the dogs have quickly put their polycarbonate-sniffing skills to good use: More »
1,461
By SethComment by badhatharry: "They are the Starsky and Hutch of the Motion Picture Association," Which one is the unfunny one who I am amazed... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Lucky And Flo And The Case Of The Extended Tour Of Malaysian Duty
Lucky and Flo, the two most adorable, stinky-breathed foot soldiers in the MPAA's ongoing war against entertainment piracy, have been ordered to extend their illegal-disc-sniffing tour of duty in Malaysia well past the loaner month that had originally been agreed to:
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951
By SethComment by MyThighsRHot4GoatFelons: @Little Mintz Sunshine: My poodle poochie had to learn that three legged thing. She does it quite well, although her... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Offensive BillboardWatch: Captivity's Secret Victims
The list of victims in the aftermath of After Dark Film's decision to grab some easy publicity by erecting offensive billboards to advertise thinking man's snuff film Captivity is a long and tragic one. Among them: the countless impressionable children involuntarily subjected to the graphic, psyche-scarring images looming dangerously close to their schools, After Dark CEO Courtney Solomon, whose more toned-down promotional ideas were ignored by a renegade printer bent on destroying him, and star Elisha Cuthbert, who is suffering from unprecedented levels of awareness about how disappointingly a once-promising career has developed. In the latest chapter of the Captivity billboard story, Slate's Kim Masters talks to a representative of a previously silent class of innocents who will be adversely affected by the MPAA's unprecedented sanctions against the movie: the producers: More »
10,383
By MarkComment by The Gen X Eurotrash Jetsetter Club: Baby Jesus, the victims of the tsunami, third world orphans... now we can add The Producers of Captivity to that... more » | Other threads
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defamer
After Dark's 'Captivity' Invites MPAA's Billboard-Induced Wrath
Slow to fulfill its promise to remove the offensive billboards forcing local motorists to contemplate Elisha Cuthbert's graphic abduction, confinement, torture, and termination as they helplessly idle at traffic-clogged intersections, After Dark Films now feels the wrath of the MPAA, which has responded to public outrage over the unapproved ads by suspending the ratings process and demanding that all subsequent promotion materials be cleared with the organization if Captivity hopes to ever get the R it probably needs to make any money. Chideth the ratings board: More » -
piracy
Lucky And Flo Solve The Case Of The Million Malaysian DVDs
Lucky and Flo, the floppy-eared crimefighting duo currently on loan to the Malaysian government, followed their highly sensitive, polycarbonate-sniffing noses to a pirating operation where nearly 1 million illegal DVDs and CDs were being stored:
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1,661
By SethComment by The Gen X Eurotrash Jetsetter Club: When are Flo and Lucky getting their own reality TV show? I mean, these bitches are STARS! more » | Other threads
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friends
DVD-Sniffing Dogs Dying To Find Out If Ross And Rachel Are Ever Going To Make It Work
We'd like to take this opportunity to reaquaint you with the adorable, wet-nosed worst nightmares of any pirated entertainment smuggler: Lucky and Flo, two black Labradors whom we first met back in May of last year, who have been trained to sniff out polycarbonates used in the manufacturing of DVDs. They are on loan temporarily to Malaysia, just one of the Asia Pacific nations responsible for the estimated $1.2 billion the pirated DVD trade costs Hollywood annually, taking food off the plates of hard-working stuntmen and studio execs lunching at The Grill alike. Pictured, Lucky and Flo stand triumphantly next to their contraband quarry: A boxed-set featuring an entire season of Friends, just a small step towards ensuring its cast members—whose latest gigs are hardly insuring that food will continue to be put on their tables—are fairly remunerated for their hard work on the series. More »
1,388
By SethComment by hhpeterson13: Labrador, it's what's for dinner in Malaysia. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Trade Round-Up: 'Knights of Prosperity' Robbed Of Timeslot
· ABC yanks once-hyped Knights of Properity from its schedule with four episodes yet to air, then compounds the indignity by replacing the series with reruns of According to Jim and George Lopez, which stings even more than a looming cancellation. [Variety] More »
1,512
By MarkComment by The Gen X Eurotrash Jetsetter Club: Technically there's no info, so it would be a sitcommercial. Poor Donal. First this and then his PrivacyWatch sighting has... more » | Other threads
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politics
Mr. Smith Goes To Washington To Charm The Panties Off Star-Struck Politicans
Fearing that indifferent, all-powerful lawmakers might not be hearing the voice of the obscure, California-based movie-fabricating industry whose interests they tirelessly represent on Capitol Hill, today the Motion Picture Association of America arranged for some of its most eloquent representatives to finally gain an audience in Washington with its "The Business of Show Business" symposium. But knowing that its best chances at swaying politicians probably lay in appealing to their basest star-fucking instincts, decided to sprinkle in some Big Willy Style for insurance: More » -
trade roundup
Trade Round-Up: Harvey Weinstein Glutting Himself At Sundance Acquisition Buffet
· Yesterday's Oscar nominations lead studios to adjust the release strategies for their recognized films, with Warner Bros. expanding The Departed from about 100 to almost 1500 screens and adding more showings of Iwo Jima this Friday; meanwhile, a despondent Paramount will fight the urge to yank Dreamgirls from theaters over its Best Picture snub. [Variety] More » -
defamer
Trade Round-Up: HBO Totally Insane For Gabriel Byrne
· Columbia Pictures and David Koepp, writer of the first Spider-Man's script, have begun the process of trying to agree upon on the presumably huge number that would bring him back to do the screenplay for Spidey 4. [Variety] More » -
trade roundup
Trade Round-Up: Gwyneth Paltrow Now Stealing Roles From Cheaper "Gwyneth Patlrow Types"
· Kicked in the ass by the documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated, the MPAA is trying to "demystify" the movie ratings system, making ratings rules public on its web site and disclosing previously guarded information about the composition of its shadowy Classification & Rating Administration. Also: they'll introduce a new way to warn parents that certain R-rated movies contain too many pairs of exposed breasts to ever be viewed by impressionable children. [Variety] More » -
defamer
Trade Round-Up: Screener Pirates Subdued; Hollywood Temporarily Safe From Financial Ruin
Two people have been arrested for stealing an Academy member's awards screeners and illegally posting them online. The DA has yet to file charges, but is expected to ultimately deny the MPAA's request that the pirates be summarily stabbed in the kidneys and left to bleed to death on the sidewalk in front of the Kodak Theatre. [Variety] More »
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By MarkComment by Little Mintz Sunshine: While bootlegged screener copies of "The Fountain" were also found in Demesa's home, neither she nor Acas will be charged... more » | Other threads
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trade roundup
Trade Round-Up: Fox Tries To Pick New Jessica Simpson From Bimbo Patch
The entertainment industry is predictably enthusiastic about the Democratic gains in this week's elections, especially MPAA head Dan Glickman, who expects that his organization's agenda will be immediately adopted by the Hollywood-loving, liberal legislators that now control Congress. [Variety] More »
defamer
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Fri Jul 10
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