Gawker
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tweenage wasteland
Next Generation Of Hollywood Starlets Is Starting Very Young
A recent post on ONTD begins, "This is exactly what you think it is: Miley's sista." Right. The taller one with the darker hair is Noah "Noie" Cyrus. On a red carpet. In a swimsuit. Noie was born June 14, 1999. She is nine. The caption on these photos reads: [Jezebel]
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273
By DodaiComment by JemimaPuddleduck wants MOAR Spock: Ugh. I wish people would let their kids be kids. These poor girls. I also wish they would quit naming girls... 38 Responses | Other threads
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monday morning box office
Hannah Montana and Cowboy Ride Rocket Horses Past Speeding Toyota
Hannah Montana opened big, meaning we get six more years of Miley Cyrus. Fast & Furious continues to do donuts in America's muddy backyard, and those few who Observe'd did not Report good things. More »
5,518
Comment by El_Gato: I'm glad Seth Rogen's movie disappointed. It's time for him to go away. He was only mildly funny to begin... 5 Responses | Other threads
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oh dear
Miley Cyrus Stalker Filmed By Daily News, Sent On His Merry Way
Miley Cyrus, the chestnutty star of Hannah Montana, is in New York today! A legion of fans has shown up to meet her, including Mark McLeod, a creepy Georgian who talks to her through pictures. More » -
miley cyrus
Miley Cyrus Twitter Hack Full Of Missed Opportunities, Misspellings
It's a shame that someone went to the trouble of hacking Miley Cyrus's Twitter account, then eschewed the imaginative vagina prose of his forebears to merely imagine X-rated episodes of The Miley and Mandy Show. More »
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Comment by Victor Ward: Please tell me the hackers made that godforsaken background. 1 Responses | Other threads
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celeb jurisprudence
Woman Seeks $4 Billion Restitution For Miley Cyrus's Crimes Against Asianity
Justifiably, semi-apologies and awards-season censure aren't going far enough to repair Miley Cyrus's SlantyGate-poisoned reputation among Asians. It's going to take a lot more — like $4 billion more — to achieve litigated peace. More »
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By STVComment by Matthew Jones: So how did Mickey Rooney get away with it in "Breakfast At Tiffany's"? 3 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
Margaret Cho Gifts Miley Cyrus With Hit New Ballad 'Chinky Eyes'
If Miley Cyrus wants to make amends with the Asian community in the wake of her scandalous, slanty-eyed snapshots, perhaps she should ring up Margaret Cho, who's just penned her a new tune. More »
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Comment by Leviticus_71: Can someone tell me why Margaret Cho still matters? And, correct me if i'm wrong, but wasn't her stand up... 9 Responses | Other threads
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tortured logic
You Only Think Miley Cyrus Is Racist Because Britney Spears Is Sober
Though Miley Cyrus may have been Oscar-snubbed, at least she's the frontrunner for a Tortured Logic nomination after she blamed the media uproar for her slanty-eyed play-acting on...Britney Spears's sobriety. More »
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Comment by taco-flavored-kisses: Those boys look like they have a darker 5 o'clock shadow than my local liquor store cashier. Arent those... 3 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
Will Miley Cyrus's Racist Indiscretions Keep Her From Awards Glory?
Kidding! It's rhetorical! Clearly it's not such a slow news day that we would actually contrive to ask that question, right? Right. But someone would — you get one guess who. More »
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By STVComment by dinalohan: "I can't be racist, I'm sitting next to an Oriental!" 2 Responses | Other threads
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awards
Today in Awards Hell: SAG Noms Revealed; Oscar Favors Mariah, Miley, Clint
The Screen Actors Guild took its finger off the nuke button long enough to select 2008 awards nominations, while the Academy narrowed its Best Song candidates to a modest 49. -
stephen baldwin
42-Year-Old Stephen Baldwin Reveals Tattoo of Teenaged Miley Cyrus
Allow us to introduce to you our Inverse Baldwin Theory, which goes a little something like this: whenever one Baldwin rises in the public's estimation, another Baldwin must descend to heretofore unknown levels of douchebaggery to balance out the universe. Thus, it is so that as Alec Baldwin enjoys near-universal acclaim and awards for his role on 30 Rock, baby brother Stephen has been reduced to stunts like becoming a right-wing Republican, Celebrity Apprentice, and now... this. More »
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Comment by WGARefugee: Has anyone told him that he can find Miley Cyrus inside the Scientology building in Hollywood? She's guarded by a... 1 Responses | Other threads
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twilight
Heroic Dog Fends Off Vampires in Deadly All-Ages Box-Office Duel
Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your weekly guide to everything new, noteworthy and otherwise avoidable at the movies. Today offers a little more variety than last week's Bond! Bond! Bond! World Tour, but only a little — a total of two major new offerings are crashing the multiplex this week, with a scrappy smattering of indies and upstarts shuffling onto screens behind them. And if that's not doing it for you, there are always a few thrilling DVD's to pick up the slack. As always, our opinions are our own, but you'll never see them schlepping off to Washington for a bailout. Invest wisely after the jump! More »
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By STVComment by JudgeFudge: Pump your Breaks, Kid. This weekend is set aside for the special edition of Tropic Thunder. 2 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
Miley Cyrus's Faux-Coyness Calibrated To Tell You All You Need To Know About How Much Underwear-Model Ass She's Getting
Miley Cyrus kicked off her "I Wasn't Killed By a Drunk Driver, Regardless of What My Hacked YouTube Page Sez! :D" tour with a stop at Ellen DeGeneres's show, which won't air until tomorrow. Ellen has become somewhat of a tween superstar guidance counselor in recent weeks, having lent Taylor Swift a shoulder to cry on as the country star recounted her brutal, half-minute Jonas brother tele-dumping. Cyrus, however, proved a tougher nut to crack, offering nothing but a series of guttural grunts and snorts in response to DeGeneres's line of underwear-model-boyfriend questioning. So embarrassed is she by the prospect of revealing the true nature of her relationship with the recipient of her obscene, catwalk-side tongue-gestures, Cyrus eventually tumbles sideways inside her chair—a bout of forced-coyness rendered all the more unsettling by her raspy giggles of fake embarrassment. *Shudder.* [Ellen]
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By SethComment by Reason: In order to preserve my status as "the fun uncle" I've had to learn way more than is healthy about... 4 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
BREAKING: Miley Cyrus Not Dead, Says Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus hackers continue to represent one of the fastest-growing segments of the American tech sector, returning to haunt the Disney superstar once again over the weekend. This time around, however, the ambitious intruder bypassed Miley's generically scandalous shirt-chomping escapades in favor of spreading the much more dire gossip that she was dead. Spoiler alert: She's not! But that doesn't mean she won't seek vengeance anyway. More » -
miley cyrus
Miley Cyrus Turns Into Monster When Fed After Midnight
Life is getting harder and harder for 'Bolt' star Miley Cyrus in her 16th year, faced with so many of the crises that make our mid-teens such a dramatically turbulent era. Like the driving instructor taking less than kindly to her defiance behind the wheel ("I don't wanna turn left, I wanna turn right!"), all those cheapskate hangers-on who won't buy tickets to her shows, and the father whom the young phenom reduced to a punchline last Friday while in late-night conversation with Jay Leno. It must have been 'Miley Day' again; these rituals just get more and more painful for poor Billy Ray. [The Tonight Show] -
miley cyrus
'Stage-Parenting Tips For Barack Obama,' By Billy Ray Cyrus
When it comes to satisfying their children's tween dreams, Barack and Michelle Obama have been fairly generous, arranging a Jonas Brothers meet-and-greet on the set of Ellen that found Joe practicing his phone breakup techniques on Malia and left Sasha, weirdly, with a purity ring on her left thumb. Still, there's one place that even the Obamas deem too frightening for their girls: the set of Hannah Montana! After Billy Ray Cyrus issued an invitation for the younger Obamas to make an appearance on the show that was greeted with a firm "Uh...," Miley's father attempted a retraction tinged with some unexpected advice: More »
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Comment by shag_carpet_bomb: When he said Daddy, I got queasy. Man, this guy is so gross. more » | Other threads
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Just Make It Out To Jesus
Miley Cyrus And Underwear-Jockey Boyfriend Crash Stephen Baldwin Book Signing
As we anxiously await lesser Baldwin brother Stephen's self-imposed exile, the McCain-grieving, born again zealot remains on domestic soil, plugging his latest book—an essential addition to the religio-detective canon called The Death and Life of Gabriel Phillips: A Novel—on the Christian bookstore circuit. And who should pop up at a Tennessee signing table but Disney Channel superstar Miley Cyrus, with Underoos-flaunting man-candy Justin Gaston tucked under her arm. Why? Not even a befuddled flack could say: More » -
miley cyrus
'Miley Day' Tradition Ends in Bloodshed For Billy Ray Cyrus
We've had an early glimpse at the joys to come later this week on The Tyra Banks Show, where the host will spend Friday with birthday girl Miley Cyrus and family at yet another Miley fête hosted by Disney. Beyond the nuggets of insight into Miley's poo-scrubbing child-labor days ("I worked at this place called Sparkles Cleaning Service and I cleaned houses, I was like 11. ... I can clean toilet bowlsâ€), however, the true revelations begin when Tyra corners Billy Ray Cyrus into a discussion of "Miley Day" — a tradition of parental indulgence during which, says Cyrus, "whatever she said she wanted to do that day we was gonna do it, no matter what it was…" We'll let Billy Ray take it from there in the accompanying video; let it suffice to say they'll never again be allowed to sit beside each other in church. [Tyra Banks Show] -
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Comment by kookla: If Justin knows what's good for him, he'd use the 10-foot pole rule. 1 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
Shocking Underwear Photos Of Miley Cyrus's Underwear-Model Boyfriend Surface!
We suppose there's nothing particularly shocking about seeing a professional underwear model—in this case, Miley Cyrus's 20-year-old tongue-interest, Justin Gaston—in his underwear. Still, that does little to diminish the thrill of witnessing him captured in his natural habitat—sheathed in close to nothing, save the name of a prominent fashion designer stretched along his hipbones in three-inch-high letters. The outstretched middle finger may say, "Screw the Disney star-making system!" but the tenderness with which he embraces Mile—hey, wait a second! That's not Miley! Whore! More »
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By SethComment by SunnydaZe10 is BANNED!: Subtext of the last photo - "I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I... 3 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
'Somebody Ended Up Ratting Me Out': Miley's Naughty-Photo Hacker Speaks
In a sneak attack befitting the kind of malcontent who would dare despoil America's slutty sweetheart, FBI agents this week apprehended the man they say hacked into Miley Cyrus's e-mail account and posted scandalously skin-baring, kiss-blowing, shirt-gnawing private photographs. The feds brought a search warrant to the Murfreesboro, Tenn., home of Josh Holly, 19, who watched them cart away three computers and a cell phone — thus forcing the admitted hacker also known as TrainReq to find alternate means of spilling his virtually unabridged story to Wired.com. And are we ever glad he did. More »
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By STVComment by taraniso: Something tells me Josh is gonna have some panty shots of his own posted very, very soon (courtesy of Big... 2 Responses | Other threads
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Hormones
Miley Cyrus Sends Hidden Signals To Underwear Model Boyfriend With Tongue
She may have lost her hot fudge virginity recently to a towering ice cream sundae, but Miley Cyrus swears she has yet to round the real bases with her underwear model boyfriend, Justin Gaston. (Which reminds us of that old joke: Q. What's the difference between regular male models and underwear models? A. Ball separators!) All that isn't to say she hasn't been fully supportive of his career, however, clapping wildly as her man struts down the runway, showing off the latest advancements in 2(x)ist's proprietary JunkFlex™ technology. But according to some eyewitnesses at a recent LA Fashion Week event, Cyrus got a little carried away, exposing her tongue suggestively (see photo) and plotting a hot night of bible-passage-exchange with her beau following the show. Page Six reports: More »
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By SethComment by Little Mintz Sunshine: Be nice. Miley'll need some good stuff for her tell-all book after she turns into Tanya Tucker. 2 Responses | Other threads
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Comment by Jackie Gleason's Fart Cave: I bet if she just bites into that thing without using a spoon and holds it to the sky Batman'll... 1 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
Sharon Stone's Groceries Get the Glamour Treatment
After a couple of stellar installments spotlighting Kim Kardashian's bad driving and Ryan Gosling's puke aversions, we've been experiencing a bit of a drought on the PrivacyWatch front. And as much as we appreciate this week's contributions — from Sharon Stone's grocery adventures to Nick Nolte's post-traumatic mocha therapy — we have to say: We are thisclose to discontinuing this feature unless we get some motherfucking sightings up on this motherfucking plane. So! For what we hope isn't the last time: Hollywood PrivacyWatch is produced by Defamer readers for Defamer readers, so keep sending us your tips with "PrivacyWatch" "or "sightings" in the subject line. There's no "u" in "surveillance" for nothing. More »
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By STVComment by Desk_hack: Where was Jerry O'Connell again - Abbot Kinney? Was he acting strangely, perhaps nervous or stressed? 1 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
Billy Ray Cyrus Sees A Lot Of His Young Self In Underwear Model Currently Banging His Daughter
Our little Miley is growing up so fast! This weekend, the Hannah Montana threw her Sweet 16 extravaganza at Disneyland (despite the fact that she won't actually turn sixteen for several more weeks) and one of the most notable acts was a rendition of "Achy Breaky Heart" performed by both her father, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Miley's new underwear-modeling beau, Justin Gaston. Though some fathers might blanch at the idea of a smooth-crooning 20-year-old dating their 15-year-old daughter, Billy Ray tells Access Hollywood that he sees a lot of himself in the briefs-clad hunk: More »
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Comment by kyle4: I'm 19, and I consider this guy near a pedophile. Date people your own age you freak. Billy Ray, you... 2 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
Is Nicholas Sparks The New Nora Ephron?
As we eagerly await this weekend's Nights in Rodanthe to see if Richard Gere and Diane Lane can continue to make old-people sex as hot as it was in Unfaithful, we got to thinking — Nicholas Sparks is a total baller. Sparks, who writes the standard romance novel fare that stocks airport bookstores, wrote Rodanthe and has successfully pandered his schlock to production companies who have turned a number of his books into best-selling films. The Notebook, arguably the biggest success of the adaptations, quickly became that movie girlfriends forced their boyfriends to watch in the hopes of emulating real-life lovebirds Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. But now comes the recent news that Sparks is no longer satisfied with hipster newcomers and wants to hit the big time, so he's selling out and writing both a novel and a screenplay adaptation for a new film which are specifically designated for queen Miley Cyrus herself. Sparks is a smart cookie and he knows women love his shit. So is he the next Nora Ephron? More »
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By AmyKSaysComment by Little Mintz Sunshine: That stupid fake house in Rodanthe irritates the shit out of me. I didn't see Notebook so I can only... 3 Responses | Other threads
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celebrity autobiographies
Do We Really Need Another Celebrity Memoir?
It's been announced that Kelly Osbourne is going to write a memoir. Not just any memoir, but an inspirational autobiography, which "will draw upon her own extraordinary experiences to help other young women as they negotiate the minefield that is growing up." Oh, so it's part life story, part self-help? Well, Kelly had better add some extra stuff into her book: She's only 23. A few months ago, it was reported that Miley Cyrus, fifteen, is writing a memoir. Writes the Guardian's Oliver Marre, "As autobiographers get younger (a trend you may have noticed), so the need to explain that their books are more than just straightforward memoirs becomes greater." Books are just another branch on the product tree, right next to fragrance and fashion line. But filling up chapters isn't as easy as filling perfume bottles. What about content? [Jezebel]
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By DodaiComment by odinsraven: Don't know if they self-identify as "memoirs" but I've read both Dirt (by Motley Crue) and Slash's autobiography. They were... 6 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
Miley Cyrus Finds Her Head Has Grown Too Big For 'Hannah Montana' Wig
For many girls, turning sixteen is a landmark event that signals the end of being a kid and the onset of new, adult behavior. Why, just check out how tween queen Miley Cyrus is preparing for the occasion: she's kissing girls, eating her clothes off, dating an underwear model, and ready to party with thousands of her favorite gays! There's only one inconvenient reminder of her childhood left: her Disney hit Hannah Montana, which TMZ says Cyrus is keen to leave behind by any means necessary: More »
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Comment by psych101: So we're talking Britney-esque meltdown when Miley's younger than Britney was? Because that's where this seems to be heading. 1 Responses | Other threads
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Comment by TheQuestion: That's how many years he has to go before he's getting any from her. 3 Responses | Other threads
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midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Miley's Man Models, Lindsay Cuts Herself, 90210 Stars Don't Eat
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, your source for tabloid "news." Finally, after a super slow summer, things are picking up! The scandal gaining strength? The reed-thin appearance of the ladies of 90210 2.0. Plus! Miley's "new man" is a former underwear model, and the mags bring the pictures to prove it. Oh, and Lindsay Lohan may or may not be cutting herself, though this was buried under a lame "Richest & Poorest Stars" story in In Touch. Intern Margaret assists as we pick through the yard sale of info in OK!, In Touch, Star, Life & Style and Us, after the jump. [Jezebel]
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By DodaiComment by peperony and chease: Don't homeschool them Angie! Homeschooled kids turn out to be freaks! 22 Responses | Other threads
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justin gaston
Miley Cyrus Will Leave The Stripping to Her New Underwear Model Boytoy
Tween queen Miley Cyrus has a complicated relationship with her clothes: sometimes she's lured out of them by unscrupulous Vanity Fair photographers, and sometimes she simply wants to eat the American Eagle t-shirt off her chest like any other 15-year-old girl. This rampant teen licentiousness has caused cultural stewards the world over to clutch their pearls, and now it seems that a defiant Cyrus has added a like-minded clothes-eschewer to her coterie: 20-year-old singing underwear model Justin Gaston, with whom she was just snapped at church. Is he Miley's latest attempt to pander to the gays, or is this budding, bulging love? More pictures, video, and analysis, after the jump: More »
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Comment by RocketRockit: How do I feel about Miley's new mancandy wearing a wifebeater to church? Bad. 3 Responses | Other threads
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Comment by SteamyMcFirecrotch: Anyone else notice the 5" white stripper heels on Miley (who's 15 right?!) 2 Responses | Other threads
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Comment by Mame_Dennis: Whaa?That is such a freaking ugly mob of washed up wannabes. It's like terrorism on my eyes. 1 Responses | Other threads
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Comment by inkydinkydo: My heart breaks for the I'm quite sure not English-speaking cleaner of the shower in that household. Ick + ick =... 2 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
Miley's Sweet 16: You (and 30,000 Gays) are Invited!
OMG! The birthday-celebrating opportunity of your tween's lifetime is right around the corner at Disneyland, where plans for Miley Cyrus's Sweet-16 bash on Oct. 5 are coming together with saucy, serendipitous panache. Never mind the $250 face value of the limited tickets going on sale Aug. 30 — the guest list validates a price even double that. Take, for starters, the Jonas Brothers and Miley's other Disney cohorts, throw in a few volunteers handpicked from Youth Service America, and finish it off with a two-story birthday cake full of gays. Or at least a theme park full of them, according to The Advocate: More »
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By STVComment by raincoaster: @Cam/ron: I was thinking the same thing for a completely different reason. Those Goths would make her cry and sing... more » | Other threads
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jonas brothers
Wherein We Finally Attempt to Comprehend The Jonas Brothers
Look, we're old. Not "old" old, but more like "the Olympics were so much better in Los Angeles" old. And definitely not "Beatlemania" old, but old enough to wonder if the Jonas Brothers phenomenon is anything like what we've heard about Beatlemania. We honestly don't know — before today we'd never listened to a Jonas Brothers song, we've never seen them perform, we don't even know which is which, only that the moppiest-headed one occasionally receives photos of Miley Cyrus eating her skivvies. More » -
russell brand
EXCLUSIVE: MTV VMAs Host Russell Brand Takes the Defamer Pop Culture Test
If the recent VMAs promo made you wonder "Who's the Brit next to Brit-Brit?", then meet Russell Brand. We asked the British funnyman (and Forgetting Sarah Marshall star) to sit down with us in an effort to prove his pop culture bona fides before hosting the VMAs on September 7. Already a famous ladykiller in the U.K., can Brand prove equally charming as the emcee of MTV's biggest event? We solicited his thoughts on Miley Cyrus, Christian Bale, and hermaphrodite presidents in a bid to find out. More »
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Comment by poppy72: Words cannot express how much I love Russell Brand. Yes, he's got an outrageous image, but that would be... more » | Other threads
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harry potter
While You Choke Down Your Ramen, Enjoy This List of Mega-Rich Tween Stars!
There's money in them thar tweens, and Forbes knows it. The magazine has just published its Rich Tween list, a ranked list of moneymakers who appeal to the elusive eight-to-14 demographic that is like, so over Spongebob. Coming in at #1 with $25 million is Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe, who had middle school playgrounds abuzz with his daring take on Equus (coming to Broadway this fall!). But wait! Could a precocious teen starlet have tied him for the pole position? Where are the Olsens? The Jonases? The High School Musical-ites? More »
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Comment by DannielynSpears: What's with Vanessa ANNE Hudgens? Is there another Vanessa Hudgens to be confused with? Is this so we don't think... more » | Other threads
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