Michael Jackson's Corpse Has Made $2 Billion 

Jordan Sargent · 06/25/15 03:50PM

Michael Jackson died six years ago today. In the 2,191 days since he overdosed on medicine administered to him by his weird and gross personal doctor Conrad Murray, Jackson has, in death, generated an almost unimaginable amount of money for various corporations, creditors and his reptile-loving children.

Did Michael Jackson Prank Call Russell Crowe With Great Jokes for Years?

Kelly Conaboy · 03/31/15 11:34AM

There are certain things we all know about Michael Jackson. The moonwalk, for one. His large catalogue of very good songs, and then also Weird Al Yankovic's catalogue of very good Michael Jackson song parodies, for another. We know that he was friends, in a way, with Macaulay Culkin—etc., etc. But there is one thing I bet almost none of us know about Michael Jackson, and that is: he was perfect at prank phone calls.

Somebody Please Save Michael Jackson's Deathly Uncool Son

Jordan Sargent · 01/05/15 04:35PM

In this era of chic, superstar babies like Blue Ivy Carter and North West, it's important to remember that sometimes celebrity children become one of America's most abundant natural resources: dumb, embarrassing, fartcloud teenagers. Let us examine the so-far cautionary tale of Michael Jackson's son: Michael Jackson, Jr. aka Prince.

Michael Jackson Allegedly Had Some Creepy Code Names for Sex Stuff

Jordan Sargent · 08/05/14 05:43PM

Michael Jackson allegedly had sex with children, this we know. Logically, it follows that Jackson would have had to communicate about sex to his alleged victims in a way that was more, uh, compatible to a developing mind. Thus, the very weird code names he is said to have had to describe his semen and erections.

The New Michael Jackson Song is Actually Really Good

Jordan Sargent · 05/02/14 10:13AM

"Love Never Felt So Good" is the new single off of Michael Jackson's upcoming posthumous album Xscape, and unlike basically every other posthumous Michael song it's good enough to remind you of why people loved him in the first place.

A.J. Daulerio · 06/19/13 03:21PM

Michael Jackson's children are probably doomed, former MJ kiddie-diddle attorney, Tom Mesereau said. "[T]here is so much that has changed since he as passed away. It is all very troubling."