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anatomy of a scene
Michael Bay Made Robot Balls
Sure to be the loudest of all the loud summer films (until G.I. Joe), Michael Bay's Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is about to drop. And it seems that in one scene, there's a little surprise. Well, two surprises. More » -
michael bay
Party at Michael Bay's House for Only $250!
Unwilling to let Roland Emmerich corner the DGA market on topless pool parties, Criterion-approved auteur Michael Bay is opening his Miami mansion up to guests—and all you need is $250! -
friday the 13th
Ch-Ch-Ch, Ah-Ah-Ah: 'Friday the 13th' Remake Reveals 13 Ways to Creatively Die
Before he works his way up to the Hitchcockian classics, Michael Bay is determined to tackle some more lowbrow cinematic remakes, and so it is that we have this newly released full trailer for the upcoming Platinum Dunes re-do of Friday the 13th. Directed by Marcus Nispel, who also helmed the Bay-produced remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and apparently hasn't exhausted his "attractively lit stabbing" jollies yet), it's the tale of a murderous hockey player who suffers a six-game suspension for slandering Elisha Cuthbert, which leaves him plenty of time to slice and dice teenagers up at Camp Crystal Lake. And, in a loving homage to the original film's trailer, Nispel has made sure that every single "kill" is teased and tabulated on-screen. The clip, after the jump: -
michael bay
Revealed! One Banished Extra's Plan to Sabotage 'Transformers 2'
It's hard to believe that Michael Bay has been shooting Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for almost four months now, but rest assured it wasn't painstaking months of character research that has slowed production to its current pace. After all, as we discovered over the summer via the film's banished extra "Man Eating Hamburger" (aka Reginald Brown), Bay has little to no knowledge of his subject and even less interest in lessons from an extra. But that doesn't mean Brown has given up trying to "learn Michael some Transformers"; in fact, reports on producer Don Murphy's illustriously deranged message board suggest that the film's climactic desert showdown may not involve Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox or giant robots at all, but rather a stunning Brown vs. Bay main event that will make Uwe Boll seethe with jealousy: More » -
megan fox
Megan Fox on Dicks, Disney, and the Female Stripper Who Broke Her Teenage Heart
Though the upcoming Diablo Cody thriller Jennifer's Body may cover up more of actress Megan Fox than people were expecting, at least Fox makes up for it by exposing herself in the latest edition of GQ. Few subjects are left untouched in the wide-ranging interview, whether it's her boyfriend's penis ("Who’s given a hand job since seventh grade? Not me"), Disney ("Fuck Disney"), or her Transformers director (when asked if the Transformers sequel will give the actress more to do, Fox flatly responds, "Transformers 2 is directed by Michael Bay"). Still, most tongues will wag when Fox recalls the female stripper she fell in love with at LA's full-frontal emporium The Body Shop when she was just 18: More » -
michael bay
Bogus: According to TMZ, shoegazing director Michael Bay was the victim of a home burglary last night in New Mexico, where he's staying while filming Transformers 2: Rise of the Finger-Splinticons. No criminals have been apprehended (we're looking at you, Scarlett Johansson clone!), but at least the story provides us with a terrific excuse to run this photo of Bay at a Playboy party two years ago. Check out that rack! [TMZ] -
transformers 2
'Nike Made Me a Shoe': A Rare Peek Into Michael Bay's Creative Process
For sheer, head-exploding hubris and pride, everyone knows that nothing in the industry rivals the first day of going to work on a Michael Bay film. (Though, to be fair, the thrilling last day of going to work on a Michael Bay film is never far behind.) And bless their hearts, Wal-Mart of all places underwrote an unprecedented first-hand peek of the magic behind the myth in this video from the set. With his custom "Bay-os" ("a/k/a Chaos!") Nikes all but winged and greased to better aid his propulsive shooting style, the iconic fauxteur brings it all down to Earth with an admonition to have fun, be safe and "make a lot of kids' dreams around the world." No Shia sightings here, alas; look for the eventual follow-up from Day 65, this time co-sponsored by Blue Cross and Johnson & Johnson CelebriSplints™ — your pinkie-saving partners in the greater LA area and beyond. [YouTube via /Film] -
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shia labeouf
Michael Bay To Incorporate Shia LaBeouf's Injuries Into Newly Retitled 'Transformers 2: Rise Of The Finger-Splinticons'
First came news from the Sheriff's Department that Shia LeBeouf was not the one responsible for his spectacular accident in Hollywood early Sunday morning. But surely he was not to be forgiven—pitied, maybe, as he underwent emergency hand surgery to restore his Echo Parque gang-sign-delivery capabilities—but not forgiven, for the police stated the actor "exhibiting obvious signs of intoxication." Not so, says his Transformers: Rise of the Fallen Machines director Michael Bay, who's convinced of Shia's innocence, and tells Access Hollywood he'll be writing his injuries into the plot: More » -
megan fox
Megan Fox Vs. Anne Hathaway: Whose 'Scary' Weight Loss Is Scarier?
Isn’t it strange how that rare affliction of being mystically “unable” to gain weight only strikes female celebrities? It seems poor Megan Fox has that very woe to deal with atop her many other personal struggles, like pretending her engagement to one-earring trendmaker Brian Austin Green is still on, and trying ever so desperately to let a director (any director!) just film her nude already. But the newly “scrawny” Fox has reportedly been chastised about her skinny frame by Transformers 2 director Michael Bay, who has demanded that the busty Jolie successor put on 10 pounds or find a new gig. While Megan’s resorted to stuffing herself with cake every night in bed, we might suggest the Anne Hathaway Quick Speed Diet: apparently breaking up with a grade A loser leads to dropping 28 pounds in no time! More » -
the dark knight
'Dark Knight' Raves No Match For Michael Bay's Caped Crusader Who Never Was
After more than four months of hype, it's getting to feel like there's increasingly less to discover about The Dark Knight except whether or not it's good. Variety pretty much took care of that on Sunday, overriding David Letterman's early, spoilerrific review with a bit more textural rave. That was preceded in the LA Times by more Heath Ledger superlatives and requisite bleakness reinforcement from director Chris Nolan. But Anne Thompson has an even better showing at her blog, featuring expansive Nolan quotes from a recent screening/discussion and, far more impressively, a look at Michael Bay's little-known original stab at the Dark Knight screenplay: More » -
defamer
Michael Bay Pays Tribute To His Shit-Blowing-Up Forebears
"On Sunday, June 29," the web-blurb legend goes, "Shootout aired a 'Best of' episode on Summer Blockbusters. Guests Jon Favreau, Michael Bay, and Brett Ratner shared their experiences working on major summer spectaculars." And so it was written, and so it should come to pass, that through the magic of repackaging, three of Hollywood's most venerated fauxteurs should share reminiscences and insights with Variety's Peter Bart and Peter Guber. Highlighted above, an exchange with Transformers director and unwitting spondylitis spokesperson, Michael Bay: Acknowledging Bart's observation that he was born into box-office brothels, Bay goes on to pay loving tribute to shlock-piloting cicerones Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer. (Note their imposing, circa-Days of Thunder publicity-shot in high-contrast B&W.) Without them, not a single extraneous helicopter explosion or lingering shot of Megan Fox's ass-crack would ever have been possible. More » -
defamer
Meet Nate, Here To Service All Your 'Transformers 2' Background Player Needs
THR readers today likely took notice of a full-page, back cover ad trumpeting a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to possibly maybe rub shoulders with Hollywood's foremost detonative dreamweaver, Michael Bay—plus the entire cast and crew of Transformers 2!—at The Happy Ending Bar and Restaurant in Hollywood. As if that wasn't reason enough to swing by, the entire event is a fundraiser benefiting the Spondylitis Association of America. It all comes to you courtesy of the Bay-loving folks at TransformNate.com. Who are they? What's Spondylitis? Aren't happy endings for Thai massage parlors? All good questions. Let's start with the first: TransformNate.com is...well, let's Nate explain! More » -
transformers 2
Disgraced 'Transformers 2' Extra Will Stop at Nothing For 15 Minutes of Justice
We should have known the epic fanboy disgrace following Transformers 2 HamburgerGate couldn't possibly end well for anyone — not deposed extra Reginald "Hedgehog" Brown, not robot-illiterate mega-director Michael Bay, and certainly not producer Don Murphy, on whose message board Brown's tragic tale of exile first found an outlet. Naturally more than just feelings were hurt in the end, and if you had "Wednesday, 2:18 a.m." — when Murphy published a few of Brown's angry e-mails "so that we can all figure out what he is trying to say" — as the official start time on your Litigation Pissing Match scorecard, then you win a prize: More » -
michael bay
Extra Thrown Off 'Transformers 2' Set 'Never Liked Michael Bay's Dumbass Shit Anyway'
A tipster sends word today of trouble having befallen the Philadelphia set of Transformers 2, where an extra was reportedly thrown off the shoot for conduct detrimental to the blockbuster. To wit: Reginald Brown, a regular contributor to Transformers producer Don Murphy's dysfunctional message boards, had nabbed the plum role of "Man Eating Hamburger" in one of the film's action sequences. Then, under his nom de fanboy Hedgehog, Brown filed a dispatch from wardrobe: More » -
defamer
Record Vowel-to-Consonant Ratio Not The Only Exciting Thing About 'Ouija' Movie
Congratulations to William Morris, which upped Hollywood's client-packaging stakes to dizzying levels Wednesday with the announcement of a film based on Hasbro's board game Ouija. But the manufacturer hardly matters as much as its WMA partners in the deal, including Elf screenwriter David Berenbaum and Mich... Mi... Christ, we can't even write it. Here, just take it from Borys Kit: More » -
defamer
It's Not TV. It's Bruckheimer/Bay Blow-Shit-Up O-Vision.
A stunning development could herald the return of one of the greatest way-above-the-title pairings in Hollywood history: that of superproducing entity Jerry Bruckheimer and überdirecting force Michael Bay, the former the explosion-loving ying to the latter's blowing-shit-up-obsessed yang. The pair's creative partnership resulted, of course, in some of the most beloved, absolutely-terrible blockbusters of the mid 1990s—but what project could satisfy their shared need for one mushroom-cloud-detonation per page and a stream of ham-fisted catchphrases that can only be fully appreciated when delivered by Nicolas Cage? More » -
defamer
Uwe Boll 'Confirms' Boxing Match with Michael Bay, Sues Billy Zane For Good Measure
On one hand we're sick to near-death of German provocateur Uwe Boll, whose perverse viral antics have amused us barely enough to keep us watching over the last month. But today the son of a bitch is making actual news: First by suing his Bloodrayne star Billy Zane for misleading him on the film's failed distribution in 2006, and then by actually confirming his proposed boxing match with flaxen fauxteur Michael Bay. So topical! So... angry! Find out where he's coming from (sort of) after the jump. More » -
defamer
Please, God, Please, Let These Men Fight to the Death!
Uwe Boll's 15 minutes of hammy artistic self-defense are just about through, but we find ourselves increasingly won over with his thrashing, language-butchering viral efforts on his own behalf. And while we're pleased to hear he'll be judging that Uwe Boll Movie Challenge we noted here yesterday, we are total suckers for his latest — and ideally his last — publicity stunt before vanishing into fauxter oblivion. Or, in his words: "Boll against Bay": More » -
defamer
Megan Fox's Parrot-Tonguing Exploits Delight Niche Publication
Megan Fox—whose coin-slot-baring performance in Transformers was egregiously overlooked by nearly all the major Hollywood awards (she did take Best Actress at the Golden Spankbaits)—is featured in this month's Paw Print Magazine. It's a publication for those who feel a little fenced-in by the rigid constraints of Dog and Cat Fancy, as demonstrated by the wide array of exotic photoshoot costars on display. More » -
defamer
At Last, Even Michael Bay Admits Michael Bay Is Full of Shit
Further refining his sophisticated public persona from "egregiously self-aware Hollywood hack" to "egregiously self-aware Hollywood hack with a Web site," Michael Bay teased his regular readers Monday with the suggestion that he's making up Transformers 2 news as he goes along. "Sorry everyone, everything you are reading (other then we are shooting in Philly) is false," he wrote in a message-board forum after an open audition call yielded rampant story and script speculation. "We are going to give so much disinformation on this film to confuse everyone." More » -
defamer
Uwe Boll: 'How Can I Be The Worst Director Alive When Michael Bay Walks Among Us?'
The Stop Dr. Uwe Boll online petition ticks ever upward, a sort of virtual career death clock whose every added signature brings us one tantalizing step closer to the million required to ensure the director never unleashes another atrociously realized video game adaptation on a public who strongly feel all the loose threads of BloodRaynes 1 thru 2 still don't quite justify a third. Not surprisingly, the feisty and outspoken cinematic visionary has opted to fight back, via verbal take-downs of some of his better regarded peers. From the MTV Movies Blog: More » -
trade roundup
Michael Bay Wonders How We Can Sex-Up A Basically Solid 'Rosemary's Baby' Premise
· Hollywood Out of Ideas: Michael Bay Instigating Another Completely Unnecessary Horror-Classic Remake Edition. After the announced despoiling of A Nightmare on Elm Street by his Platinum Dunes "horror shingle," the director is in talks to produce a remake of Rosemary's Baby for Paramount. Look for Megan Fox to star as the totally babealicious swimsuit model knocked up by Shia LaSatan. [THR] More » -
michael bay
Thanks to advances in CGI, reports The Onion, even Michael Bay will be getting his due on Oscar night, as green-screen technology will allow programmers to recreate with stunning proximity the illusion that the director is collecting an Academy Award right alongside his nominated Transformers sound and visual effects men. They even have made a grinning Jack in sunglasses out of millions of tiny vectors! [The Onion] -
defamer
Michael Bay Ready To Ruin 'Nightmare On Elm Street' For A New Generation Of Horror Fans
Continuing his obsessive quest to take the finest slasher films the 1970s and 80s had to offer and update them for an ADD-addled teen audience eager to see the stars of their favorite The CW melodramas eviscerated in a budget-conscious fashion on their local multiplex's big screen, leading Hollywood re-envisionary Michael Bay has convinced New Line to allow him to run the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise through his Platinum Dunes dream-despoiling factory. More » -
defamer
Michael Bay Tips Hand On Dream Project In Australian Banking Commercial
Don't let Michael Bay's lightly self-deprecating appearance in this Australian commercial fool you: as we speak, the workaholic fauxteur is already in negotiations with Paramount to make Extreme Outback Banking Koala Force: Determined To Be Different his follow-up to Transformers 2, a nine-figure-budgeted production which will require no fewer than thirty helicopters (up from the brief presentation's mere seven), and boast a small army of custom-made, fully animatronic bears (CGI is the coward's way out) each featuring over 10,000 functioning parts. Projected five-day Memorial Day 2011 gross: $125 million. More » -
box office
'Transformers' Well On Its Way To Cracking The Elusive 13-Figure Mark
It's not for nothing that Transformers should boast grosses on the high-end of 12-figures, as trumpeted by a seemingly endless succession of brushed-titanium zeroes on the pages of today's Variety: The studio has master blowingshitupologist's Michael Bay's passion and perfectionism to thank for that. More » -
defamer
Even though the just-released Transformers DVD has broken this year's first-week sales record, director Michael Bay, ever the blowing-shit-up perfectionist, isn't completely satisfied with the product: "I was traveling promoting (Transformers) while they were doing the DVD. You try to guide people as to what to do (in making it), but ultimately if you rush your date, you are not going to get the DVD as good as it could be. ... Studios want to pump this stuff out, and my job is to care about it and try to put the right people on it. They just see it as a show they are selling, and I see it as a movie." Included in the features that will have to wait for the Transformers: Special Fauxteur's Cut DVD: a behind-the-scenes clip in which an uncompromising Bay reduces star Shia LaBeouf to a weeping mess by repeatedly screaming a suggested line-reading through a megaphone, footage in which the phrase "you talentless little baby" figures prominently. [USA Today] -
defamer
Guild Throws Down Strike Authorization Gauntlet, Studios Officially Not Impressed
Yesterday, the leadership of the Writers Guild sent out an e-mail blast asking its scribe army for strike authorization, hoping that letting the entire industry know that they've requested the ballistic launch codes from their membership will force the studios to take their just-revived contract negotiations seriously: More » -
defamer
Tobey Maguire Wants A Piece Of The Giant Fucking Robots Action
With Transformers having shattered all kinds of non-sequel box office records, Voltron in the development pipeline, and Gobots: The Movie awaiting the hedge fund capital infusion that will allow it to expand into a feature-length production, it's obvious that Hollywood is suffering from a serious case of robofever—and, as the THR notes today, the disease is worsening: Warner Bros. and Spider-Man star/occasionally portly poker enthusiast/burgeoning producer Tobey Maguire are getting into the Giant Fucking Robots business, announcing that they're teaming up to bring Robotech, yet another 1980s cartoon series involving oversized automatons and the human freedom fighters who love them, to your local multiplex: More » -
short ends
Michael Bay Reconsiders Hastily Adopted Position in Format Wars
· Michael Bay now officially prefers Paramount's HD-DVD Kool-Aid (how exactly one drinks it "hook line and sinker" is still a mystery) to that served by Blu-Ray enthusiasts: "Last night at dinner I was having dinner with three Blu-Ray owners, they were pissed about no Transformers Blu-Ray and I drank the kool aid hook line and sinker. So at 1:30 in the morning I posted - nothing good ever comes out of early am posts mind you - I over reacted. I heard where Paramount is coming from and the future of HD and players that will be close to the $200 mark which is the magic number. I like what I heard." [via Variety] More » -
defamer
Michael Bay Takes The Stand, Maintains Innocence In Cocktail Party Snub Allegations
Yesterday, Michael Bay made his much-anticipated cameo in the Phil Spector trial, taking the stand to dispute the defense team's theory that the director's alleged snubbing of Lana Clarkson at a Hollywood party drove the despondent actress to shoot herself in the home of a happy-go-lucky guy who loved to joke about how women "all deserve a bullet in their head." Court TV reports that while Bay was initially a little uncomfortable, it didn't take long for the director to break out some of the trademark, rapid-fire banter he always uses to lighten up any explosive spectacle he's involved with: More » -
defamer
Michael Bay To Take The Stand In Spector Trial
Today brings potentially bad news for Transformers director Michael Bay, who last week was so memorably dragged into the legal clusterfuck that is the Phil Spector trial by a star witness named after a popular seasonal dessert. Apparently, Bay's previous telephone testimony won't be enough, and he'll soon be forced to take the witness stand to explain how he never blew off Lana Clarkson at a party, sending her into a depressive spiral that caused her to take her own life. Reports Court TV's Spector trial blog: More » -
clips
Michael Bay: Power Director
Something doesn't feel quite right about posting a Michael Bay-related video on Brett Ratner, Billion Dollar Director Day, but we think we can justify temporarily shifting the spotlight from Ratner to his Transformers counterpart by pointing out that Bay's seven movies have actually grossed more than those of today's fauxteur-of-honor, crossing that magical ten-figure barrier in domestic receipts alone. In any case, we're too impatient to wait until Var gets around to its Bay BDD issue (the full-pager from Jerry Bruckheimer, we're told, will actually explode when the reader flips to it—but don't worry, a welder's mask will be included with every copy) to share this loving tribute to Bayos with his fans. More » -
defamer
Michael Bay Refutes Report Of Suicide-Inducing Clarkson Snubbing
Disturbed by recent Phil Spector trial testimony by "star" defense witness Punkin Pie Laughlin that his alleged snubbing of Lana Clarkson at a party had somehow driven the actress to suicide, Transformers director Michael Bay took time out from the Tokyo leg of his Giant Fucking Robots Are Coming world tour yesterday to clarify the spurious claims about his fauxteurial power over life and death. Reports the LAT: More » -
defamer
Giant Fucking Pets Are Coming [MichaelBay.com]
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defamer
'Transformers 2' On The Fast Track
· Go behind the scenes of the Transformers 2 development meetings with an animated Michael Bay, Gay Megatron, and a version of Brett Ratner that's somewhat less cartoonish than the real article. More »











































