Gawker
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larry birkhead
E! Reality Show Marks New Heights In Dannielynn- sploitation Vehicles
Having had to evacuate Anna Nicole Smith's Coldwater Canyon residence after a freak cotton-candy-machine accident swept the home up in a cyclone of flossy, pink destruction, beleaguered babydaddy Larry Birkhead is left to pick up the pieces. For starters, that means taking work where he can find it—and in this dire economic environment, there just aren't many openings for 1-year-old-baby party planners. So Birkhead has relented and agreed to take the questionable step of laying bare his life, and the life of daughter Dannielynn, for the E! reality cameras. More »
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By SethComment by NoWireHangers: At this rate Daddy's Little Cash Cow™ is going to be an empty husk by the age of 10. Why... 1 Responses | Other threads
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Handle With Care
Larry Birkhead Will Never Reveal The Name Of His Pink Packing Foam Supplier
No, Bobby Trendy didn't swallow a hand grenade and detonate all over the walls of Anna Nicole Smith-legacy-upholder Larry Birkhead's living room. The stay-at-Anna's-home dad is packing up a Liberace museum's worth of gaudy pink mementos from Smith's Coldwater Canyon residence and moving elsewhere. He tells Life & Style why in a Life & Style is Covering Larry's Moving Expenses Exclusive! More »
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By SethComment by kookla: Snark all you want, it takes someone very secure in his manhood to pose on that leopard print rug, holding... 3 Responses | Other threads
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dannielynn birkhead
Dannielynn Birkhead: Two And Loving It
Hard as it is to believe, Dannielynn Hope Birkhead Smith Stern Glaxo Wellcome is now a two-year-old—well past her blob stage, and developing into quite the pretty young lady. It's Us Weekly who have this time met the birthday-party-exclusive asking price, which included some highly quotable soul-searching from doting wrangler Larry Birkhead: More »
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By SethComment by DannielynSpears: As you might've guessed, I simply CANNOT WAIT for her debut album to drop! At the sexy age of 12,... 1 Responses | Other threads
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anna nicole smith
Anna Nicole's Ex Buys Lingerie for Their One-Year-Old Daughter, A Nation Squirms
Pity Anna Nicole Smith's one-year-old daughter Dannielynn, who will grow up never having known her exhaustively documented mother. A tragedy to be sure, but one that fame-hungry babydaddy Larry Birkhead is determined to resolve in the most unorthodox fashion possible. If only there were some way (besides granting paid exclusives to The Insider) he could show Dannielynn just how much her mother meant to him... More » -
anna nicole smith
Dannielynn Hope Birkhead, now 18-months-old, has been named sole heir to the Anna Nicole Smith estate by an L.A. Superior Court judge yesterday, as well as the beneficiary of a newly established trust. Larry Birkhead and estate-executor Howard K. Stern are—you guessed it—the co-trustees, a new responsibility which we can only imagine will further prevent them from putting a fucking tombstone on Anna Nicole's grave. [usatoday.com]
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By SethComment by The Authority: And honey, this is where you sign. Here, let daddy help you. more » | Other threads
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defamer
One Year After Anna Nicole's Death, Birkhead And Stern Still Finding Ways She Can Make Money
On February 8, 2007, a devastated Defamer was glued to CNN, following Dr. Sanjay Gupta and the rest of AnnaDeath 360° team as they offered breathless updates on the not-entirely-shocking (yet still pretty traumatic) loss of Anna Nicole Smith. And yet here we are, a full year later, and Hollywood seems doomed to repeat its trainwreck-glamorizing mistakes. Meanwhile, Smith's legacy carries on via the creepy gentleman-callers who dotted the love polygon that defined much of her life. Larry Birkhead, we well know through a series of soul-deadening The Insider exclusives, has been adjusting to life with his money-pooping paternity jackpot, most recently having plopped the toddler on a patch of grass he assured us was Anna Nicole's resting place, and successfully baby-wrangled his daughter into saying the word "mama" for their cameras. More » -
have you no shame
Larry Birkhead Refuses To Let Pesky 'Insider' Cameras Stop His 17-Month Old Daughter From Grieving
Larry Birkhead and integrity go together like peanut butter and mayonnaise. While we have never held him in anything even remoting approaching regard, we think that this clip might one day go down as his lowest moment. That goes for those creeps over at The Insider, too. This clip of Birkhead trotting out Dannielynn to the Bahamian gravesite where her mother is buried repulses us on more levels than we care to count. But we'll try. More »
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By Mark GrahamComment by TheMotherOfTrouble: I would love to comment on how reprehensible this entire clip is, but my throat still burns from puking in... more » | Other threads
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britney spears
Larry Birkhead and Britney Spears? It's not as crazy as it sounds: Says an insider to In Touch, "Larry has a thing for vulnerable blondes - and no one seems more vulnerable than Britney these days." Of course, his lower back will always belong to Anna Nicole, but we're thinking those two might not be the worst coupling we've ever heard of—the Sean Preston/other one/Dannielynn/Casey Jr. playdates alone make it something worth exploring. [In Touch] -
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birthdays
Creepy Men Who Define Themselves Through Their Associations To Anna Nicole Celebrate Her 40th Birthday
Had she lived, Anna Nicole Smith would have been 40 years old today; she'd also very likely be disoriented, naked but for a set of lipstick cat whiskers, and wandering around the lobby of a Florida Hard Rock hotel with a nearby Howard K. Stern capturing every pratfall on Hi-8. As ever-tabloid-present in death as she was in her drug-addled years on Earth, Entertainment Tonight commemorates the posthumous milestone by approaching the two most essential mapping points on the love-polygon that defined much of her life—Stern and Larry Birkhead: More » -
light reading
Wouldn't Your Anna Nicole Conspiracy Theories Go Better With A Nice O.J. Double Murder Confession?
Amazon's recommendation engine suggests shoppers looking for Rita Cosby's shocking Anna Nicole tell-all Blonde Ambition also check out bestselling O.J. Simpson pseudo-confessional If I Did It, the rationale presumably being that while reading up on two mysterious Hollywood deaths is nice, four is even nicer. More » -
revenge
Stern Says $60 Mil Barely Enough To Cover Suffering Of Having World Think He'd Do Birkhead
Though it was Larry Birkhead who openly swore he'd sue Rita Cosby, to use the legal parlance, "back into the MSNBC rat-hole from which she first produced her twitching rodent snout," it is Howard K. Stern, the second half of the all-male coupling she licentiously described in Blonde Ambition, who's first to file suit: More » -
defamer
Bahamas Nearly Ready To Look Into One-Year-Old Case Of Daniel Smith's Death
To be honest, we thought the Bahamas' authorities had undertaken their Daniel Smith inquest months ago, having concluded that the substance Howard K. Stern was spotted nervously disposing of down a hospital toilet moments after Anna Nicole's son's suspicious death must have been jars of his own collected tears, in anticipation of the strength he'd be required to show in the weeks to come. As it turns out, the much-delayed inquest is just about to get underway: More »
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By SethComment by buddy10462: I have been following this case from the beginning. Daniel Smith'inquest has been postponed by many of Howard Stern's attorney's... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Tabloid-Friendly Larry Birkhead Makes His Private Grieving Moments Work For Him
As father Larry reportedly enters final negotiations with the E! network to co-star in a reality show with daughter Dannielynn Hope Marshall Colby Dexter Fortensky Birkhead, sources close to the events continue to cast the Genetic Sweepstakes winner in a sinister light. Beyond the strenuously denied blow-job bombshells, we now have the testimony of former Birkhead bodyguard Mark Speer, who tells the NY Daily News of the time Larry arranged with paparazzi to be photographed grieving at the grave of Anna Nicole's son: More »
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By SethComment by dutchtreat: Look for his side of the story, "If We Did It" in bookstores soon! more » | Other threads
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defamer
Dannielynn To Be Slightly More Coherent Than Her Mother On Her Own E! Reality Show
Ignoring for a moment the outrageous claims that she was genetically engineered to keep her greedy gay daddies in handcrafted loafers and Bahamian houseboys well into old age, the fairytale ending we all dreamed of for Dannielynn Hope Smith Birkhead appears to have finally come to pass. Only days ago, she celebrated her first birthday, opening dozens of gifts at a lavish party. (Her favorite: a real, semi-dehydrated pony from "all your loving godparents at ET and The Insider.") Now, following in the unsteady footsteps of her mommy, she's already scored her first E! reality show: More » -
birthdays
Tabloid Baby Milestones: Dannielynn Turns One
We thought we'd take a moment to put aside the scurrilous claims of videotaped, babydaddy-on-executor action being made in Rita Cosby's tell-all, and instead focus on this Insider footage of a 1st birthday party thrown for Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead by doting pop Larry. (In Cosby's defense, between the "pink ballerina tutu" and "little girl pearls," this party was pretty gay, even for a one-year-old girl's birthday.) We know it's a cliché to say, but it really amazes us how quickly highly exploitable children grow up: It seems like only yesterday that The Insider was showing us exclusive images of Dannielynn being pried out of her mother's stomach in their heartwarming C-section birthing video. More »
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By SethComment by dutchtreat: It's like soap-opera babies. They go from a never-crying newborn, conveniently stashed offstage, to pregnant teenager. And they say life... more » | Other threads
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non-denial denials
Larry Birkhead And Howard K. Stern Really Might Be Gay Lovers
So today, nearly all of the celeb mags are breathlessly reporting the nastiest coupling we've come across: Anna Nicole Smith's baby-daddy Larry Birkhead and her attorney and semi-husband Howard K. Stern were, according to that strumpet Rita Cosby's new book, totally doing it! And struck a backroom deal, and there's a sex tape, and oh my God, gross.
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Comment by Lysergic Asset: Oh, shit, I really hope you guys aren't going viral again! I needed something like a three-week break after... more » | Other threads
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defending his honor
Larry Birkhead's Mad As Hell: A Round-Up
As much of the world spent their Monday evenings funneling turpentine into their ears, hoping the primitive technique might somehow wash away the indelible vision of Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern engaged in "a compromising, intimate position," the two men figuring most prominently in the outrageous claims made by Rita Cosby's new book have begun to fight back. A round-up: More » -
dannielynn in danger?
When Howard Met Larry: Rita Cosby Drops A Dirty Bomb
Last week, we were teased with news of "shocking" material contained within the pages of former MSNBC host Rita Cosby's bombshell-laden new book, Blond Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death. For a conspiracy-hungry public who never quite warmed to Howard K. Stern's svengali-like presence and his sudden coziness with overly highlighted babydaddy Larry Birkhead, it instantly conjured up a host of sordid scenarios—everything from lusty man-on-man trysts to black market baby sales, from systematic bimbo-druggings to involuntary face-painting. Now, a leaked manuscript reveals that Cosby's claims include all of the above, and more: More »
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By SethComment by dutchtreat: I refuse to believe that Anna Nicole would surround herself by anything less than totally respectable people who only have... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Did Larry Birkhead Swap Dannielynn For $78 And A Tootsie Roll?
OK! magazine's dramatically unspecific allegations yesterday that Larry Birkhead is not the upstanding, profoundly moral soul we'd expect an Anna Nicole Smith ex to be left us to speculate on our own about his torrid secrets. Now, TMZ dumps lighter fluid and a match on the smoldering coals with suspiciously well-timed rumors that MSNBC anchor Rita Cosby's dishy Anna Nicole tell-all — conveniently available Sept. 4! — claims Birkhead slipped Howard K. Stern something entirely different: More »
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By heatherfugComment by Trixie from Toronto: It sounds like everything I wildly imagined upon first hearing there was something sinister afoot has in fact proven to... more » | Other threads
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a real life 'deathtrap?'
'OK!' Dumps The Birkheads Due To Vague — But Damning! — Scandal
Those tender-hearted moralists at OK! magazine — who wrestled publicly with whether or not to print the pictures from its excrement-crusted Britney Spears shoot — are at it again: They now say they are dropping their planned exclusive coverage of Dannielynn on her first birthday. Since this can't possibly have anything to do with the glut of father-daughter pictures we just saw in Us Weekly, there must be some other, far more scandalous explanation—and there is! Please ready yourselves for earth-rending allegations that, unfortunately, can only be discussed with tantalizing vagueness: More »
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By heatherfugComment by Miss d: Where are you Frances Bean? DL is needin' your help. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Larry Birkhead Enjoys Newfound Celebrity Status At Teen Choice Awards
We suspected strange things were afoot at the Circle K when Larry Birkhead awkwardly shuffled down the Teen Choice Awards red carpet. Somehow, we doubted girls of age 13-17 gleefully taped up posters of Anna Nicole's sperminator next to shots of Zac Efron's hair. Turns out our Spidey Sense was right—Birkhead had been nominated alongside such crackpot luminaries as Lindsay, Britney, and Sanjaya for a category that was abruptly scrapped when certain crazy bitches put on panties just so they could get them in a wad: More »
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By heatherfugComment by Miss d: WTF?!? And people even wonder why the younger generations are dumb... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Dannielynn Comforted By Footage Of Her Drugged, Incoherent Clown-Mom
Rest easy—all is well at Birkhead Manor, even if Us Weekly's cover story on Anna Nicole Smith's last living heir somewhat disconcertingly crops daddy Larry out of the picture. (At least we're hoping those disembodied hands are Larry's, and not Tony Potts placing the one-year-old in a duffel bag for transportation to a contractually mandated appearance at Access Hollywood's studios.) And while the "$472 million baby" may tragically never get to meet her mommy, Dannielynn will at least be able to experience her through the multimedia shrine her father has erected in Anna Nicole's honor: More »
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By SethComment by Trixie from Toronto: @BabylonSister: Not that so much but it now looks like perhaps there was some alcohol and drugs ingested by the... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Saluting The Most Expensive Celebrity Photos In History
Forbes.com's Slideshows of the Rich and Famous series continues with their gallery of "The Most Expensive Celebrity Photos," featuring some of the largest sums ever lavished by gossip weeklies upon celebrities in exchange for the photo-exclusives to the milestone moments of their lives (first natural child, third adopted child, first European fairy tale wedding, last photo of deceased son, etc.). Pictured, Jolie-Pitt all-access chronicler People magazine pays a cool $2 million for touching photos of mother and newly abducted/rechristened family addition Pax Thien, a fee tied Dannielynn paternity sweepstakes winner Larry Birkhead for the first pictures of proud dad holding his darling bundle ofcashjoy. More »
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By SethComment by Colonel Mustard: I don't care what anyone says, that picture of Paris bawling in the police car is priceless. more » | Other threads
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diapers
Checking In With The Birkheads
It's time for one of those sporadic check-ins to see how Larry Birkhead and court-certified genetic property Dannielynn are faring. The two have been in L.A. for a little while now, where Birkhead has had the opportunity to introduce his baby daughter to some of Anna Nicole's favorite local haunts ("And that's the hamburger joint where your mom got tanked and sexed up a waitress!"). Amazingly, Birkhead already sees a lot of Anna Nicole in Dannielynn, beyond superficial similarities like the constant gurgling and need for an occasional bottle feeding: More » -
hollywood privacywatch
There Is No Sating Hollywood A-Listers' Hunger For Artisanal, Thin-Crust Pizza
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted a grocery-shopping Larry Birkhead getting a head start on Dannielynn's food-dependency issues. More » -
anna nicole smith
Stern Files Anna Nicole's Will, Ensuring None Of These Names Are Going Away Any Time Soon
Anna Nicole Smith's 2001 will—which named her deceased son Daniel as her sole heir and Babydaddy Sweepstakes also-ran Howard K. Stern as its executor—has been filed by Stern in an L.A. probate court yesterday:
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defamer
Dannielynn Poops Among Us
NBC Universal reportedly paid $1 million for exclusive access to Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkead, a deal that is now culminating in her Journey to America, as well as an honorary godfather title and round-the-clock blankey duty for Access Hollywood reporter Tony Potts: More »
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By SethComment by Trixie from Toronto: @Scout: With the utmost respect, dear Scout, I beg to differ. Adorable little Dannielynn is the white trash Athina Onassis... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Last Legal Roadblock To Dannielynn's L.A. Homecoming Crossed
A final attempt by Anna Nicole Smith's tenacious, pug-faced mother Virgie Arthur to prevent paternity sweepstakes winner Larry Birkhead from returning to the U.S. with daughter Dannielynn Hope MarshallSternBirkhead (according to her reissued birth certificate!) has been shot down by a Bahamian court: More »
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By SethComment by Hyman Decent: @Scout: No way! Not only is there the matter of Marshall's estate, but there's going to be another court hearing... more » | Other threads
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defamer
'OK!' Scores Exclusive First Photos Of Larrylynn
In a savvy and lucrative media transaction that would have made her mother proud, 7-month-old Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern quietly arranged to sell the exclusive first photos of herself posing with recently adopted biological father Larry Birkhead to OK! magazine (pictured on the front page of today's NY Post, cooing adorably on his belly). In the interview, Birkhead shed some light on what originally drove a wedge between the two lovers (hint: it rhymes with "rugs"), as well as demonstrated an amazing capacity for forgiveness towards his babymomma-hogging nemesis, Howard K. Stern: More » -
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By SethComment by Trixie from Toronto: @LickyDisco: Licky, they say crack babies are born snarky and miserable and stay that way for weeks. And yet Dannielynn... more » | Other threads
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anna nicole smith
Larry Birkhead's Family Reunion: A Round-Up
· Enjoy this video of Larry breaking the good news: "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but: I told you so!" If you look closely, you can see money being exchanged between the giddy Bahamian law enforcement officials in the background. More »
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By SethComment by leatherface: It's sad that one day that child will have this entire saga to peruse and think about, long after we've... more » | Other threads
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anna nicole smith
Breaking: It's Larry's!
Admittedly, we had prepared in advance for other possible outcomes, but in our hearts, we always knew that no amount of baby home hair-coloring products could cover the golden locks Larry Birkhead passed down to his genetic progeny. Moments ago, the elated Entourage background player announced to a gathered crowd that Dannielynn was 99.9999% his. Howard K. Stern then told reporters he was "obviously very disappointed," but that he would "do everything I can to make sure he gets sole custody," as opposed to the baby's overzealous grave-filling grandmother Virgie Arthur. Reports then have the two former adversaries hugging it out, bitch—a tender moment of reconciliation that would have been incredibly moving if it didn't instantly bring to mind the slashfic Stern-on-Birkhead fantasy that scarred us some weeks ago. Developing... More »
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By SethComment by wundergirl: Seriously...at what point was Ashton Kutcher going to come running out and yell at both men that they had gotten... more » | Other threads
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anna nicole smith
Howard K. Stern Reportedly Ready To Concede Babydaddy Sweepstakes To Whoever Actually Fathered Dannielynn Smith
TMZ is reporting an "all systems go" for the Big Daddy Reveal tomorrow, with major players in the Dannielynn Smith paternity case descending upon Nassau, including the expert from Ohio who oversaw the testing, and frontrunner Larry "Bullseye" Birkhead, seen here excitedly boarding an American Airlines flight, daydreaming about which terrifyingly oversized stuffed animal he'll present his newly won daughter with first. As for Howard K. Stern, the site quotes "unimpeachable sources" who insist he won't challenge for custody if the baby isn't his: More »
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By SethComment by EvilMinion: I don't think she can become a tragic icon until Elton John dedicates a version of Candle in the Wind... more » | Other threads
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anna nicole smith
Howard K. Stern Finding It Was Way Easier To Evade The Whole DNA Issue When Anna Nicole Was Still Around
After submitting a DNA sample to Bahamian authorities (we prefer to maintain our blissful ignorance of how exactly that was achieved), Howard K. Stern made an 11th hour attempt at blocking the results. It was a legal action we're almost certain arose out his desire for privacy at this difficult moment, and not, say, because he bore even the slightest shadow of a doubt that Dannielynn wasn't stamped as 100% his own loinfruit product. Now comes word that the courts have shot down his appeal: More »
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By SethComment by MyThighsRHot4GoatFelons: I predict that when/if the day ever comes that he has to turn her over to her real dad, will... more » | Other threads
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anna nicole smith
Anna Nicole Smith Round-Up: It Never Ends
· After a brief stall for undisclosed legal reasons, the Bahamian inquest into the death of Daniel Smith is finally under way, with a jury of seven women selected to determine the circumstances surrounding the death that started it all. 40 witnesses are set to testify, including Stern, Birkhead, and hospital staff members who reportedly witnessed Howard K. Stern flushing methadone down a toilet soon after Daniel's body was discovered. It remains to be seen how an all-female jury might influence the proceedings, though we doubt they could get any more emotional during the verdict-reading than Judge Seidlin did. [CourtTV] More » -
defamer
DNA-Tested Larry Birkhead Confident His Chromosomes Will Do The Babydaddy Talking
Rita Cosby, MSNBC's in-house champion for Anna Nicole Smith-related justice and any incidental ratings that might haphazardly come out of that crusade, reports (and TMZ instinctively regurgitates like a sparrow feeding its scoop-hungry young) that our national (not that one) might soon be over: Larry Birkhead and the baby he claims is his own both have had DNA samples extracted: More »
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By SethComment by MyThighsRHot4GoatFelons: Let's just face it. The root of all evil where this child is concerned is the possibility of future millions... more » | Other threads
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entourage
Before They Were Possible Anna Nicole Smith Impregnators: Larry Birkhead, 'Entourage' Extra
In this magical, DVR-enabled era in which we live, viewers need only press a button to confirm that the tussled blonde extra they spotted on a repeat airing of Entourage was, in fact, a central player in the Anna Nicole Smith saga: Larry Birkhead. Radar Online posts a screencap of Birkhead's turn as an Ari Gold underling, assigned to the challenging task of reigniting former Viking Quest star Johnny Chase's flagging career. How Birkhead, whose occupation is usually referred to as photographer, wound up cast as an expendable AMA redshirt is anyone's guess: As Radar points out, his name doesn't appear anywhere on IMDB (which could change just as soon as the MOW conveyor belt starts pooping out Anna Nicole miniseries), and his page on Studio System lists precisely zero credits. Regardless, the mere involvement of a leading paternity candidate instantly throws a new light on the industry-satirizing series, making us wonder if other Entourage bit players—from Paul Haggis to Peter Dinklage to Seth Green—might also be worthy of consideration in the Dannielynn Smith Genetic Sweepstakes. More »
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By SethComment by Capt.Insano: I'm waiting for the home made ANS porno to hit the internet.....of course, after an appropriate period of mourning. more » | Other threads
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anna nicole smith
Howard K. Stern And Larry Birkhead Put Aside Their Differences For One Night Of Slashfic Passion
We here at Defamer are fully aware that the public may have long since reached its saturation point with Anna Nicole Smith death coverage, and that nothing short of a decomposed Smith knocking from within her casket during her "over the top" Bahamas funeral, then climbing out to perform a surprisingly on-key rendition of "Don't Cha" for the gathered guests, would warrant mentioning. You may be amazed to learn, however, that there are fascinating, still unexplored avenues to this bizarre tale, even if they only exist on alternate-reality planes. Without further ado, then, we proudly present for you some hot Howard K. Stern-on-Larry Birkhead slashfic action: More »
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1-39 of 39 for "Defamer, larry birkhead"
