Gawker
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tom cruise
Don Tom Cruise Named as Godfather in Landmark Racketeering Case Against Scientology
A new kind of crisis recently befell the Church of Scientology, accusations serious enough to reduce those Suri-sippy-cup and Will Smith Brainwash Academy rumors to mere enturbulatory afterthoughts: An ex-member has filed a $250 million suit against the Church in Florida, invoking federal racketeering statutes generally reserved for the Mafia and other crime syndicates. Even more ambitiously, the suit reportedly names Tom Cruise as a primary conspirator in Scientology's global scheme, which plaintiff Peter Letterese claims to have encompassed threats and harassment of himself and his attorney. More » -
defamer
Kirstie Alley Hopes Her New Talk Show Turns Out More Like 'Tyra', Less Like 'Gabrielle'
The last time Kirstie Alley appeared on daytime television (flaunting her slim-ish new frame on Oprah), we applauded the self-proclaimed Fat "Actress" for keeping up her promise to Jenny Craig. But after squirming through the appearance, we ultimately decided one daytime appearance was enough for us to stomach. Kirstie, however, seems to disagree. People is reporting that Alley has just signed a deal with Oprah's Harpo production company to host her very own daytime show (in addition to other potentially televised projects). As Alley herself put it, "Nothing shocks me. I'm a great listener. I'm a good comedian. And I won't lie - I live a beautiful life." But considering the ill fates of both Megan Mullally's and Gabrielle Carteris' attempts to lure housewives into their femme-angled daily circle of televised love, we have to wonder whether or not Kirstie's destined for cancellation, or fierce enough to carry on the tradition of fellow slim-ish daytime host Tyra Banks... More »
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Comment by hummingpenguin: @Sweet Panda Love: or thanking god and laughing her sweet head off at the disaster this woman has become. living... more » | Other threads
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defamer
From Your Mouth To Blog's Ear: It's 'Jewno!'
· The beauty of Jewno is in its attention to detail. To wit: a bagels, lox, & cream cheese phone. [YouTube] More »
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By SethComment by SteamyMcFirecrotch: "Attention to detail?!" The 92nd St. "Y" and "Tribeca" are at opposite ends of the city! Schande! more » | Other threads
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defamer
Note To Lisa Marie Presley: You're Not The First Star To Be Called 'Fat' By A Magazine
Newly pregnant Lisa Marie Presley is filing a lawsuit against our favorite celebrity body part attacking rag, The Daily Mail, after they reported their disapproval of just how much junk she's packing in her trunk these days. And while the Mail's use of "packing on the pounds" and "gained weight just like her father Elvis" isn't the nicest way to describe her, we've heard much worse over the years. From Val Kilmer ("Batman To Fatman!") to Kirstie Alley ("Too Fat For Sex!"), we rounded up some of the nastier cover stories and worst beach body analyses to put poor Lisa Marie's hormone-filled mind at ease. More »
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Comment by Miss d: Poor bitch was married to Michael Jackson, forchristssakes, the after-shock has probably just got to her... more » | Other threads
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hollywood privacywatch
Gay Austrian In Sherman Oaks Looks Suspiciously Like Sacha Baron Cohen
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about how the sound of Mickey Rourke's loud snoring prevented you from getting any work done at the Santa Monica Public Library. More »
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By SethComment by kit10indublin: I've almost given up trying to prove to people why SBC is unfunny, very unfunny, deeply unfunny and has stolen... more » | Other threads
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missdemeanors
If Natalie Portman Is "Not Going To Make An Effort" By Getting Implants, She Should Just Stay Home
Oh, Missdemeanors. So very necessary, unfortunately. Because who else is going to issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity? This week: Model Laetita Casta just isn't thin enough, Lindsay Lohan is a "whore," Kirstie Alley is too fat to bend over in the shower and Natalie Portman is "flat" and needs implants. Effing hell. The offenders and their sentences, after the jump. Let the Jezebel justice system begin! [Jezebel] -
defamer
Kirstie Alley Wants To Help You Look Just Like Her
When it comes to getting in shape, a few names spring to mind: Richard Simmons, Tony Little, Slim Goodbody, and ... Kirstie Alley? Famous first for replacing Shelly Long on Cheers, then for getting really fat, and then for losing a few pounds, and most recently for gaining a few of them back, Kirstie (aka "Actress") has decided to throw her gigantic hat into the weight-loss ring. Now that the curtains have drawn on her 3-year relationship with Jenny Craig, People is reporting that Alley is developing her own weight-loss brand with a 2009 launch date in mind. She pledges to "create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride." More » -
defamer
Blame Game: Jenny Craig Fires Kirstie Alley, Thanks To Scientology's 'Detox Program'?
Upon hearing The National Enquirer's report that Jenny Craig fired Kirstie Alley because she is just too darn fat, we stopped picturing Jenny as a cute Southern mommy type who just wants us to be healthy and began suspecting she's more like that undermining ex-boyfriend of ours who just wanted us to be Angelina Jolie. Adding extra salt on the wound, Jenny Craig has reportedly replaced her with Queen Latifah, who's pledged to lose 25 pounds as soon as that pesky Pizza Hut contract expires. But the reasons behind the corporate ax may have had less to do with Kirstie's inability to shed pounds, and more to do with a little religion Tom Cruise likes to call Scientology. More »
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Comment by bitchybitch: I thought it was great that she went on Oprah looking like that. Kudos to her. How many different companies... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Exclusive: Kirstie Alley's Lawyers Demand That 'US Weekly' Fire Writer Who Cracked A Scientology Joke
Defamer just managed to get our grubby mitts on a secret copy of a strongly-worded letter that "Actress" Kirstie Alley's legal team over at Goldman & Kagon recently sent to US Weekly. In it, the firm asks that United States Weekly sever their relationship with fashionista/comedienne Danica Lo because of an innocuous Scientology joke she made at the expense of billion-year contract escape clause benifitee Nicole Kidman. The joke in question ran in the "Fashion Police" section of the mag and referred to an outfit Kidman wore to the Australian premiere of The Golden Compass, which the tony Miss Lo described as being "specifically designed [to repel] Scientologists." Um, zing? The legal letter and offending picture follow after the jump. More »
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By Mark GrahamComment by tinyhands: Given that Scientology is an insult to real religions, I'd say we call it even. more » | Other threads
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bootlegs
Newly Unearthed Scientology Orientation Video Reveals Church's 'Mind Control' Tactics; But Without It, Kirstie Alley 'Would Be Dead'!
Who knew L. Ron Hubbard was such a superhero? In this recently unearthed clip from Orientation: A Scientology Information Film, two robotically-pitched Scientology mouthpieces claim that LRH singlehandedly unmasked "the government's" system of "mind control" using nothing but his creative genius (saving millions of Earth Human lives along the way). That is, when he wasn't busy being "fully professional" in 29 other fields. The video also includes cultish quippets from "Actress" Anne Archer and "Actress" Kirstie Alley, the latter of whom calmly explains that "without scientology, I would be dead." But it's not just popular-in-the-`80s actresses giving Hubbard praise; hear from opera singers! Fashion designers! Exercise physiologists! And the most flamboyantly gay chef we've ever seen, or heard, in our collective lives. More »
27,701
By mollyfComment by dutchtreat: At first I thought by "Beck" you all meant that soccer guy, Beckham. The one whose wife hangs out with... more » | Other threads
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911
By MarkComment by SteamyMcFirecrotch: "Boos don't intimidate me. I've been in PRISON bitches!" - Paris Hilton more » | Other threads
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fires
Kirstie Alley, Celebrity Hero Of The Wildfire
Proving that its emergency preparedness program is unquestionably the finest in Hollywood—yes, it even shames that of hyper-vigilant ICM—the Church of Scientology sprung into action following news that the spread of the Griffith Park wildfires necessitated the evacuation of many adjacent Los Feliz homes, dispatching their top Level VII Celebrity Disaster Response Tech to make sure residents knew to immediately flee the area. Reports the LAT Breaking News blog: More »
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By MarkComment by raincoaster: Valerie Bertinelli deserves to be publically fat, after all the "I have four percent body fat" crap she spouted in... more » | Other threads
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sightings
Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Kirstie Alley Torn Between Disembowled Starlets And Brutal African Dictators
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so start sending them in more often. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let the world hear all about the time you spotted television's Blossom, Mayim Bialik, looking so damn fine she nearly knocked the gay right out of you. More » -
diary
Short Ends: World Gone Mad
· The world has officially gone three different flavors of batshit insane: Showtime will rush the Fat Actress Season One DVD into stores, presumably accompanied by a tour of video stores where Kirstie Alley will be challenged to eat and/or have sex with anything you put in front of her, emitting her trademark high-pitched whine the entire time. More » -
gossip
Press Release Of The Week: Fat Monday
We feel confident in naming this the press release of the week on a Thursday, knowing that it's going to take an HBO announcement that March 6th is "Cocksucker Day" in honor of Deadwood's premiere to top this: More » -
gossip
Scientologists Take Rush & Molloy Hostage
The NY Daily News's Rush & Molloy lead today's column with a healthy salad-tossing for the salad-impaired Kirstie Alley and her upcoming show: More » -
gossip
Fat Actress: You Don't Want To Know What Kirstie Alley Does To The Fudgesicle
A spy offers a sneak preview of Kirstie Alley's upcoming Showtime abomination Fat Actress that indicates the the show is going to be far more cringe-inducing than we'd feared. If you manage to get past the part about "deep-throating a fudgesicle," you have a much heartier constitution than we do. We fainted dead away like a Southern belle succumbing to a nasty bout of the vapours the second our brain maliciously conjured that image. More »
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