Kim Kardashian currently stars on the reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Kristin Cavallari used to star on the reality show The Hills. You might think the similarities between the two end there, but you’re wrong, because Kristin and Kim Kardashian also dress alike, because Kristin copies Kim Kardashian. (Busted!!!!!)
This Sunday, Keeping Up With the Kardashians returned to E! for its 11th season. Today, keen-eyed Kardashians scholar Mariah Smith returns to Gawker for her second season. Every week, Smith uses paparazzi photos, gossip-blog coverage, the family’s own Instagram and Twitter accounts, and common sense, to investigate, and establish a detailed and accurate shooting schedule of Keeping Up With the Kardashians—laying bare the distorted timelines and manufactured plotline of America’s royal family. Welcome back for another season of Keeping Up With the Kontinuity Errors.
Noted attractive person Kim Kardashian is the driving force behind many successful businesses, the star of a hit television show, and the new false god of tens of millions of Instagram followers. This month in Rolling Stone, she is also a “jungle Aphrodite escaped from a forest of big-booty nymphs,” whose “creamy thighs bestride an entire nation.” Her vagina, says Rolling Stone, is one of the few in pop culture “to smell and bleed and pop out babies.” Earthy. Powerful.
Kim Kardashian, who is currently pregnant with the perfect boy child of her choosing, had quite a night last night. The weary celebrity complained on Twitter this morning about an anonymous, naked, drunk woman who woke her from her sleep last night by banging on her hotel room door (naked and drunk):
Kim Kardashian’s origin story has, at this point, passed into legend: Before Ray J, before Kanye, before Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kim Kardashian: Hollywood, she was the personal assistant to the original sex tape star-cum-reality-TV personality Paris Hilton. But how did she climb her way past her old boss? According to a dirt-filled new Buzzfeed story: By spilling tea on her to tabloids.
If recent months have taught us anything, it’s that the Kardashians—a family whose daily comings and goings are documented more thoroughly than the Obamas’—are able to conceal secrets more securely than the most secret shadow branches of the C.I.A., until such time as TV ratings require their reveal. This week, the world learned that Kim Kardashian was pregnant. But when did Kim Kardashian learn that?
In a conversation on Sunday night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, eldest sister Kourtney brought up her stepfather Bruce Jenner’s announcement that he is transgender and planning to transition. A totally normal topic, given that she ostensibly just learned about this in last week’s episode—except the conversation broadcast on Sunday was actually filmed last November, while Jenner’s announcement to his stepdaughters was filmed two months later, in January.
In the wake of Bruce Jenner’s Diane Sawyer interview, rumors have swirled regarding the alleged re-shooting of tearful Kris Jenner scenes for E!’s Keeping Up With The Kardashians: About Bruce two-part special. In light of this controversy, Gawker called on an expert to determine exactly when the footage was filmed.
The New York Times Magazine published a highly-entertaining profile of Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner today, for which writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner spent a day on the set of Keeping Up With the Kardashians at the sprawling Jenner manse in Calabasas. Brodesser-Akner got to sample one those salads the Kardashians are always eating and use Jenner’s special-order black toilet paper. She was not permitted, however, to join Jenner on a filmed Costco trip:
Last night, E! released a teaser for an upcoming Keeping Up With the Kardashians episode where 17-year-old Kylie Jenner reveals she’s had lip injections. Anyone who’s seen a photo of Kylie in the last year could have told you that, but the Kardashians have gone to great lengths to keep it just another sweet family secret.
After appearing as one of the most naked attendees at the Met Ball on Monday, Kim Kardashian won a coveted spot on Vogue’s best dressed list. The reality star was incredulous at the news at first, tweeting at 3:27 p.m. today, “Best dressed list?!?! Thank you so much Vogue for this honor! #MetGala2015.”
On Tuesday afternoon, selfie queen and alleged animal murderer Kim Kardashian graced a New York City Barnes & Noble with her esteemed presence, in order to sign copies of her new book of vanities, Selfish. While the line began forming on Monday night, that didn’t stop several animal activists from patiently waiting for hours to speak their truth to the star. Animal NY published video of the incident.
[Note: Some of the photos below are NSFW]: When you are Kim Kardashian, every year—1998, 2012, 40 A.D., the future—is a good year for you. Looking out over the hills of Calabasas or the boulevards of Paris, your kingdoms, both, you can feel proud of all you have wrought. Fame for you has expanded like a waist freed from a waist trainer, and in 2015, your notoriety continues to grow.