This Week In Tabloids: Tom Forcibly Impregnates Katie

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we suffer through cuddling up to the decrepit old weekly tabloids, so you don't have to. This week: Katie Holmes is so distracted with being knocked up that Suri's going without shoes. [Jezebel]

Al Pacino and Robert De Niro Indistinguishable Even to Movie Directors

Al Pacino steps into Robert De Niro's Italian leather shoes. Amanda Bynes' sex comedy. Judd Apatow forsakes the bromance for Kristen Wiig. Erector Sets' movie adaptation is not a soft-core porn. The Trade Roundup just ate an entire frittata. More »

Mel Gibson's Unfortunate Comeback Continues Unabated

We do not want a Mel Gibson comeback, but the universe doesn't care because Mel Gibson just landed another starring role. Katie Holmes also might make a comeback, and George Lucas writes a musical about fairies. All inside the Roundup! More »

This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we take a walk through the celebrity weeklies, in search of entertaining gossip. This week: Britney's beach wedding; Katie's leaving Tom; Angie and Johnny are planning to make out and shower together. Naked. [Jezebel]

Oprah: 25 Years Of Screaming Celebrities' Names

Television will never be the same after Oprah goes off the air in 2011. If we had a "Favorite Things" list about O, in the top spot would be the way the talk-show host introduces celebrity guests. Mashup at left. [Jezebel]

Scandal and Death Spell Showbiz Success for Letterman and Michael Jackson

Somewhere out there in Hollywood, there are a few dozen people who made bets that "scandal was never the way to win over audiences" kicking themselves, hard. More »

Suri Cruise is Riding Around L.A. on a Gold Lexus

A tipster in Los Angeles just sent us this picture, snapped from his car on Los Feliz Blvd., right up the street from Scientology's Mission of Los Feliz. So, who was driving the car? More »