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saved by the beldar
Suri Cruise Goes to Alien School
The child found inside a comet by actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will turn three this week, then be shipped off to a strict Scientology school, as it is her father's most ancient religion. More » -
open caption
"That's Weird. Why Is The Steering Wheel On The Wrong Side? I'm Not South Of The Equator."
[Victoria Beckham on her way to meet Katie Holmes for dinner at Nobu; image via INF] More » -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Pregnancies, Nose Jobs, Cheating & Sex Tapes
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we "read" the celebrity weeklies so you don't "have" to. Contributing editor Margaret assists as we dissect In Touch, Life & Style, Us, Ok! and Star. [Jezebel] -
feuds
Cruise and Holmes Slammed For Fashion-Line Faux Pas
Kate Moss is not happy: Do Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, fashion nobodies, know how many fashion gods they pissed off by cutting the line at a fashion ball?
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gossip roundip
New Mom M.I.A. Sought By Oscars Producers
Which is less appropriate: A brand-newmom performing at the Oscars, from bed, or an image-conscious Olympian trying to lay low in a strip club? Decide for yourself. More » -
tom cruise
Tom Cruise Bucks The Jessica Simpson Trend
Dazzling locals on the South American leg of his Valkyrie promotional tour, Tom Cruise unveiled a lean physique and taut set of abdominal muscles poolside in Rio de Janeiro. More » -
katie holmes
Katie Holmes Fights Victoria Beckham To Draw In Glamourpuss Pout-Off
Their simmering rivalry was thought resolved. But with their new, respective designer ads unveiled on the same day, Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham appear to have retrenched in a battle for This Year's Look. More » -
katie holmes
'I'm No Wallflower,' Katie Holmes Instructed to Say
On a day that has seen its fair share of horrors, the suddenly, comparatively innocuous couple of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes couldn't have picked a better day for news of their upcoming dual cover story for the NY Times magazine to leak out. After we've witnessed Satan himself emerge onto Sunset Blvd. to announce a series/collagen installment plan for Lisa Rinna, what damage can be done a creepy story like Cruise's revelation that he bought Holmes an engagement ring after their first date? With the black smoke coursing through our city, who can choke out a laugh at Holmes's insistence that she hasn't become a Stepford wife? Oh wait, we can: -
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just imagine
Five Break-Through Roles for Celebrity Kids
So, have you heard that Jaden Smith, son of mega movie star Will, is going to be the next Karate Kid? Yeah, they're rebooting that old franchise—about street tough kids getting lessons in fightin' and thinkin' from mystical Asians—as a star vehicle for the kiddie. Sure, he's already starred (with Pa) in The Pursuit of Happy[sic]ness and has a role in the upcoming The Day The Earth Stood Still. But, the savvy tyke he is, Jaden's booked himself in the update of an iconic role that can shake off the simple title of "Will Smith's Kid." Now he'll be, well, "that new Karate Kid." He's not the first celeb spawn to go into the industry, and he won't be the last teetering into the fray to ditch associations with their famous folks. So who's next?? Who will be the next children of celebrities to hurl themselves in front of the camera in search of non-genetic fame? We'll take a look at some other famey babies after the jump and cast them in ideal (read: fake) break-out roles! More » -
tomkat
Invasion Of The TomKat Snatchers
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes attended a cocktail party for the cast of the revival of All My Sons last night at Hermes's flagship store in New York, shocking fans and jaded paparazzi alike as they emerged from their limousine to reveal that the two had morphed into virtually the same person—a freak evolutionary byproduct of Cruise having spent every waking moment since May 2005 obsessively observing his wife for signs of resistance or flight. Granted, Holmes still enjoyed one distinguishing feature in her six-inch height differential, but that should even out in no time once the ancient Scientological practice of calf-binding completes its painful, appendage-condensing process. More » -
katie holmes
'Strangely Shrill' Katie Holmes Hijacks Broadway
The Katie Holmes Road Show and Protester Revival landed last night near Times Square, where the star made her Broadway debut amid a devoted crowd of tourists, family and Scientology nemeses flanking 45th Street. The reviews — and the heartfelt pleas for calm — are in after the jump. More » -
star trek
Is This Your New Spock From 'Star Trek,' Or a Melty-Faced Katie Holmes?
Today, Entertainment Weekly released images from its upcoming issue devoted to J.J. Abrams's reboot of Star Trek, and featured on the cover were the two clearest looks yet at Zachary Quinto as Spock and Chris Pine as Kirk (what, were Tyler Perry and Winona Ryder busy?). Heroes star Quinto has seemed like a natural to don Leonard Nimoy's ears ever since the casting was announced, but we must admit that this cover gave us pause. Is it the amped-up drag queen eyebrows? Or is it that Quinto, with his severe bob and vacant expression, resembles a Marfan's-afflicted Katie Holmes? Let's do a side-by-side: More » -
katie holmes
Rave Broadway Review Confirms Katie Holmes 'Knows Her Lines'
T-minus 48 hours and counting until theater critics can officially digest the spectacle of Katie Holmes's Broadway debut in All My Sons. Can't! Wait! But while the amateur pundits have already gotten a jump on the show's previews and Anonymous protesters have hammered out the kinks in their own play in front of the Schoenfeld Theater, one perennially-trustworthy perspective has trickled out onto the Web this morning for everyone to parse: That of Fox crack gossip and drama wonk Roger Friedman, who hastens to note that today's column is a "report," not a "review," lest Holmes might have been saving her A-game for Thursday's premiere. More » -
katie holmes
Singing, Dancing Katie Holmes Excises Her Musical Theater-Loving Thetans
Professional Stepford wife Katie Holmes was once an actress, despite what the three-year gap in her IMDb profile may indicate (like America, we are choosing to forget about Mad Money). Somehow, though, the boyfriend jean advocate managed to sneak away from her duties as Ms. Kate Cruise to shoot an episode of Eli Stone airing October 21 — and a just-released clip shows a dancing, singing Holmes begging to be hit hard (perhaps that would explain those mysterious bruises?). More » -
ryan reynolds
10 Celeb Marathoners to Beat in Ryan Reynolds' Rookie Race
Ryan Reynolds hit the fundraising circuit running — literally — in an essay today on The Huffington Post, where he opened up about his training for next month's New York Marathon. There, despite vowing to avoid such events after once observing an epidemic of runners' bleeding nipples, the newlywed is racing on behalf of Michael J. Fox's foundation to fight Parkinson's Disease. But while we applaud his determination in battling 26 miles of nipple-chafe, Reynolds is running for more than just a good cause. He's also trotting into a celebrity pastime with a rich tradition of its own, competing against the likes of Will Ferrell, Katie Holmes, Diddy and even David Lee Roth's six-hour slog through New York in 1987. After the jump, find the ten swiftest boldfacers who ever laced up a pair of track shoes. Train harder, Ryan — and happy bleeding! More » -
jennifer lopez
J. Lo Hesitant To Add 'Scientologist' To Her Multi-Hyphenate Resume
In the "special skills" area on the back of her headshot, renaissance woman Jennifer Lopez is able to list so very many things: whispery acting, AutoTune proficiency, early 1990s dance mastery... the list goes on and on. Still, there is one useful Hollywood skill that La Lopez has always been cagey about showing off, and it's her intimate familiarity with Scientology. Though her dad has been a Scientologist for over twenty years and Lopez pals around with famous L. Ron disciples like Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Leah Remini, she tells the Daily Beast that she's still a free agent — though her new twins might not be so lucky: More » -
nicole kidman
Lauren Bacall Livens Up Nicole Kidman Profile With Cuss-Laden Slams at Tom Cruise
Here at Defamer, we have a well-documenter love of salty old battle axes (hi, Cloris Leachman!) so props must be paid when one goes above and beyond the call of duty in providing us with entertainment. This week's recipient of our wizened love is Hollywood veteran Lauren Bacall, who adds a much-needed dash of (blue) color to Elle's upcoming profile of Nicole Kidman. While the Botoxed beauty is in a magnanimous mood, acknowledging her pleasure that ex Tom Cruise has found a "more profound" love with Katie Holmes, Kidman's former costar Bacall isn't one to mince words, and she jumps in to call Cruise a "maniac": More » -
katie holmes
Anonymous Fails To Rain On Katie Holmes's Broadway Parade
Last night was the first preview of the Katie Holmes-starring revival of All My Sons—a critic-proof production that will be remembered less for bringing new insights to the classic Arthur Miller text than it will be for hosting the most spectacular female celebrity disappearance since the days of Amelia Earhart and Shelley Long. (She'll first have to figure out a way to sever the 3000-mile-long, indestructible microfiber restraint tethered to her ankle, rigged to reel her in at the press of the button if she so strays so much as 15 feet from her Church-approved, "apartment-Barneys-theater" travel route.) Tom Cruise was largely credited with captaining the deafening standing ovation that met her bows—rich in first-pumps, index-finger #1s, and "It's all you tonight!" points towards the stage—until one handler had to pull the actor aside to quietly explain that the 78-year-old emphysema-sufferer seated in a wheelchair next to him was physically unable to, quote, "C'mon—get on your feet grandma and show my little lady some love!" From the AP report: More » -
katie holmes
Who's To Blame For Katie Holmes's Mysterious Knee Bruises?
While other well-photographed actresses might don a pair of pants to go out if their knees were covered in bruises, Kate Holmes is of a different breed. Not only did Holmes attend a performance of August: Osage County with black-and-blue welts studding her bare legs, she did it while leggings were surely close at hand. Are the bruises the result of a suddenly aggressive Suri, a painful rehearsal for Katie's Broadway debut, or a niacin-cleansing ritual gone awry? The Daily Mail takes us inside the scene: More » -
haley joel osment
Haley Joel Osment Learns 'F' Word in Preparation for Upcoming Broadway Debut
The A-list movie-star incursion on Broadway this fall just got a little B-listier with the addition of Haley Joel Osment to the cast of American Buffalo, David Mamet's 1976 play set for revival in November. And we can't wait: For sheer envelope-pushing, neither Daniel Radcliffe's full-frontal horseplay nor Katie Holmes's Dawson-ization of Arthur Miller is likely to compare to their fellow ex-child star's profane verbal tussles with castmates Cedric the Entertainer and John Leguizamo — a duo whose characters entangle Osment's young, broke schemer Bob in a bluer-than-blue cascade of "cunts," "fucks" and other Sixth Sense-era unutterables. And all it'll cost Osment, 20, is the low, low price of a semester behind at NYU: More » -
katie holmes
Clothing Exchange! Katie Holmes isn't simply a robot with human emotions — no, she's also a style icon. Whether it's her sunglasses, hairstyles, or leggings, she's always been at the forefront of Scientologist chic...which is what made us question these baggy, rolled-up jeans she's been sporting lately while rehearsing for her Broadway debut. Now, finally, Us Weekly breaks the story wide open: Holmes is merely wearing the jeans of her husband, Tom Cruise — and isn't that the fun part of being a couple? As for the rolled-up ankles, we'll leave that to Us: "A reason Holmes has been rolling them up? She's 5'9" and Cruise is 5'7"." More » -
tom cruise
Don Tom Cruise Named as Godfather in Landmark Racketeering Case Against Scientology
A new kind of crisis recently befell the Church of Scientology, accusations serious enough to reduce those Suri-sippy-cup and Will Smith Brainwash Academy rumors to mere enturbulatory afterthoughts: An ex-member has filed a $250 million suit against the Church in Florida, invoking federal racketeering statutes generally reserved for the Mafia and other crime syndicates. Even more ambitiously, the suit reportedly names Tom Cruise as a primary conspirator in Scientology's global scheme, which plaintiff Peter Letterese claims to have encompassed threats and harassment of himself and his attorney. More » -
katie holmes
Is Katie Holmes' Severe New Bob A Stealthy Way To Extricate Herself From Her Marriage To Tom Cruise?
In light of some breaking hair-related news involving future fugitive Katie Holmes, we must admit that we’ve underestimated the Scientology prisoner. As the Daily Mail reported over the weekend, Broadway’s least-alluring celebrity rookie recently chopped off even more of her already chin-grazing bob, and even dared to pull out those hair curlers in what could be the beginning move in a new strategy to finally flee the Knights of Hubbard. Though Kate’s "boyish" cut may backfire, it’s a clever plan nonetheless. Below, we provide five of the best examples of drastic 'do-caused catastrophes directly linked to highly publicized breakups, from Jennifer Aniston’s self-conscious bob that led to Brangelina, to Cameron Diaz’s unfortunate goth dye job that failed to inspire any future sex or love sounds from Justin Timberlake: More » -
tom cruise
Tom Cruise and The Bizarre Gifts That Keep Giving (Giving His Friends The Creeps, That Is)
What fun it must be to have a baby, get married, or turn one year older if you’re lucky enough to be chummy with Village People Fan Club president Tom Cruise. As a card-carrying member of Tom’s inner circle of disco-dancing Xenu-fearing tribe of pals, new mom Nicole Kidman had the joy of receiving one of Cruise’s trademark lavish gifts — as People reports, the birth of little Sunday Urban prompted Nicole’s ex-partner in bearded crime to send over a huge “high-end” gift basket filled to the brim with fancy baby must-haves. But after reviewing Tom’s history of gifting his nearest and dearest with incredibly bizarre and, at times, inappropriate items, we suspect his inclusion of “Giraffe baby blankets” might actually be a subtle swipe at Kidman’s tendency to resemble the long-necked drowsy animal. Cruise’s unnerving presents of the past to fellow Tom-ophiles like Dakota Fanning and Katie Holmes, after the jump. More » -
defamer
The Lost Boy
· Corey Haim spent an entire segment of The Two Coreys surfing the Defamer comment section and walked away emotionally damaged. But darker days are looming ahead. More »





















































