Gawker
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trade roundup
Everyone Overseas Wants to See a Terminated America
Funny little news today about the internet, about foreign box office, about annoying reality shows on CBS and bizarro ones on Canadian TV. Plus news on your home movie about furries. More »
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Comment by jbwan: Tune in tonight for a special episode of COnvition KJitchen when "Squeely" accidentally drops the Amuse-bouche in the shower. 1 Responses | Other threads
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midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Pregnancies, Nose Jobs, Cheating & Sex Tapes
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we "read" the celebrity weeklies so you don't "have" to. Contributing editor Margaret assists as we dissect In Touch, Life & Style, Us, Ok! and Star. [Jezebel]
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By DodaiComment by ImDatNinja (loves her Red Sox): As much as I dont want to talk about Jen A. ( cause I love her like that) if this... 25 Responses | Other threads
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midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Veiled Vows For Chris And Rihanna
Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which we attempt to piece together actual news from the celebrity tabloids. This week, most covers featured Rihanna and Chris Brown's reported reunion, with Star claiming that they got married. [Jezebel]
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By MargaretComment by saintbernadette: "Pizza or Pregnant?" Those are the only 2 choices? How about potatoes, mashed; period-time; Pillsbury biscuits; pancakes!? 18 Responses | Other threads
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By SethComment by CapnCalamity: "George Clooney is also obsessed with you." QUELLLE SURPRISE. more » | Other threads
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exes
Nick Lachey offers ex-wife Jessica some backhanded support. [Extra]
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sisters
Ashlee Simpson Wonders How Anyone Can Find Her Sister Fat Now That Obama Is President
The widely circulated images of confusing-exercise-video survivor Jessica Simpson at a Florida chili festival probably weren't what the singer had in mind when she recently told a handler, "I wanna be big again!" More »
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By SethComment by Spideyrex: Ashley, Any body who had made millions for her body is absolutely a target for criticism if she gains weight.How can... 1 Responses | Other threads
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jessica simpson
The Banned Jessica Simpson Exercise Video: With 'Manager Admitting She's A Bitch' Bonus Track!
Tough as it is to believe, recent leopardskin-belt double-cinching victim Jessica Simpson was once the star of her own weight-loss video. More »
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By SethComment by dango: I still don't know what horses and marathons have to do with fitness. 1 Responses | Other threads
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matthew mcconaughey
Matthew McConaughey Joins Elite Group Of A-Listers Who Couldn't Crack a Six-Figure Opening
Any Straight-to-Flopz masterpiece can top out below $100,000 theatrically, but it takes a special kind of crap to do so with a real star above the line. Take Surfer, Dude, the new Matthew McConaughey adventure-in-shirtlessness that found exactly zero takers at Rotten Tomatoes and not many more upon its release in 96 theaters nationwide: $36,497 worth, to be precise, likely prompting the actor/producer/placenta vintner to wonder if perhaps he should have saved the comma in the film's title for the total gross. More »
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By STVComment by MrRewrite: I love it when the title is developed first, and THEN the script, etc. are created. That always works really... 1 Responses | Other threads
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dane cook
Dane Cook's Love Scene Secrets: Minty Freshness, Strategic Groping
Dane Cook is finally playing nice these days on behalf of hisMr. Fix-It remakenew film My Best Friend's Girl, getting through an entire interview recently without once mentioning his mildly vagina-like face or those other movie-poster mishaps that so traumatized him last month. In their place, readers are treated to hints about Cook's sweeter, sensitive side — the leading man in him who prepares for onscreen interludes with a grueling two-month training routine for his mouth and hands: More »
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By STVComment by taraniso: I've just spent a good 3 minutes staring at Cook's picture here, wondering what cosmetically one could do. I decided... 1 Responses | Other threads
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jessica simpson
Won't You Take a Whiff of Jessica Simpson's New, 'Fart-Proof' Perfume?
Apparently Jessica Simpson is still doing... things... and one of those things is a new perfume scent, maybe? That's the story she told Rachael Ray, and it seems plausible enough, though we're a little more skeptical of the singer's insistence that she's "completely" in charge of making the product ("Vanilla bean smells completely different than vanilla. It's really weird!"). Still, her unenthused patter briefly comes alive when Ray spritzes some "Fancy" (it is called this) into the air, causing Simpson to point out the perfume's unique bonus: the ability to queef in an elevator without anyone being the wiser. Ladies, do not try this at home. [Rachael Ray]
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Comment by Bear_Necessities: "Completely in charge" of making only this product, or the other ones she's shillin' for as well? Or has she foisted... more » | Other threads
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lindsay lohan
The Hot Accessory No Starlet Can Be Without: A Bad Dad
Though Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff have been rivals for so long that no one can even remember how it began (wait, Aaron Carter? Really?), there's at least one thing the two starlets can agree on this week: their dads each need a serious time-out. In fact, while Lohan took to the pages of MySpace to chastise her father, Duff's received an actual sentencing: ten days in the slammer for poor parenting. Before we explore why, though, let's begin with the latest in the Lohan family psychodrama, which reached its boiling point this week when a fame-hungry Michael Lohan took to the press to denounce the woman who his daughter has "gone gay" for: Samantha Ronson. That didn't sit so well with Lindsay, who made a scathing rebuttal today on her Myspace celebrity blog: More »
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Comment by SteamyMcFirecrotch: Does Billy Ray Cyrus count as a "bad dad?" What about Tom Cruise? 2 Responses | Other threads
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miley cyrus
What US Weekly's List Of Star Virgins Reveals About Teenage Girls
Putting together a celebrity slideshow isn't for the faint of heart: just ask our own Molly McAleer, whose titanic work in the pursuit of compilations could kill a lesser man (and has — don't ask us about that intern in '06). So how do you survive filling out an eleven-page slideshow when your subject is that most rarest of species: celebrity virgins? Well, if you're an employee at Us Weekly, you cheat a little, padding your list with both non-virgins and non-celebrities alike! More »
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Comment by julijet: Oh my god this goes along with Jessica Simpson's virginity description. Fucking HIlarious... At 12, the Baptist-bred singer was given... more » | Other threads
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katie holmes
Is Katie Holmes' Severe New Bob A Stealthy Way To Extricate Herself From Her Marriage To Tom Cruise?
In light of some breaking hair-related news involving future fugitive Katie Holmes, we must admit that we’ve underestimated the Scientology prisoner. As the Daily Mail reported over the weekend, Broadway’s least-alluring celebrity rookie recently chopped off even more of her already chin-grazing bob, and even dared to pull out those hair curlers in what could be the beginning move in a new strategy to finally flee the Knights of Hubbard. Though Kate’s "boyish" cut may backfire, it’s a clever plan nonetheless. Below, we provide five of the best examples of drastic 'do-caused catastrophes directly linked to highly publicized breakups, from Jennifer Aniston’s self-conscious bob that led to Brangelina, to Cameron Diaz’s unfortunate goth dye job that failed to inspire any future sex or love sounds from Justin Timberlake: More »
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Comment by raincoaster: @IKnowThings: Extensions. Nobody's hair grows seven inches in six months. more » | Other threads
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celebrity science
The Gawker Wasted 20
It's shaping up as a cruel summer for drunk, high or otherwise messed up celebrities trying to stay on the straight and narrow. Comedian Andy Dick was arrested this week for groping a 17-year-old's breasts while in possession of marijuana and Valium, in something of a reprise of his bust last year for doing blow in a nightclub. Actress and teen rehab veteran Drew Barrymore is now reported to have boozed her way to a breakup with actor Justin Long. Heather Locklear fled "depression and anxiety" rehab in Arizona after barely two weeks. Even a Rolling Stone, Ronnie Wood, surrendered himself to rehab again after leaving his wife for a 19-year-old cocktail waitress — and two bottles of vodka per day. Maybe all that summer daylight is pushing everyone over the edge! In any case, it's tough to keep track of who's where on the customary arc of high-profile substance abuse: embarrassment, criminality, rock-bottom desperation, rehabilitation and then either another trip around the circle or a break into the freedom of sobriety. That's why we've compiled a guide to once and future inebriated celebrities: 20 actors, singers, models and socialites who hog way more than their fair share of space in the gossip pages — and here on Gawker. We'll update and expand this list over time as a sort of encyclopedia of shame; your comments and tips are encouraged. (The arrows, by the way, indicate trends in drunkenness, so an upward arrow means getting drunker, downward means getting more sober.)
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By Ryan TateComment by clementineV: Also, I love Kirsten Dunst just as the next Sofia Coppola fan, and I think she's precious and adorable and... more » | Other threads
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justin timberlake
The Three Most Annoying Aspects Of Justin Timberlake's Latest Jessica Simpson Impersonation
As we’ve noted in the past, Stinky master of predicting the future of love sounds Justin Timberlake isn’t quite on the level of Richard Pryor or Lenny Bruce when it comes to comedy routines. After failing to elicit laughs at the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame earlier this year, and trying out the rarely-cute attempt to evade relationship questions on Leno, Timberlake is evidently still fixated on proving he’s just bursting with comedic prowess. His latest stunt? Impersonating Jessica Simpson at the Timberlake-hosted ESPYs, airing this Sunday, by wearing a cheap blonde wig, standing in front of a cut-out of her daisy dukes, and making frightening facial expressions supposedly meant to resemble the time-traveling Tony Romo groupie. The good news? Despite these photos doing little to inspire even a smirk from us, we feel the need to point out Timberlake’s impressively hilarious impersonations of the past on Saturday Night Live, both as a tweaked out awesomer-than-thou Ashton Kutcher, and a far better Jessica Simpson impression years before: More »
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Comment by TimGunn: I don't understand how Jessica Simpson is at all relevant. more » | Other threads
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blake lively
When Glossies Attack: Blake Lively Latest Victim Of Airbrushing Whack Jobs
Blake Lively's people are throwing a hissy fit over the Gossip Girl star's cover shot on this month's Seventeen. And before assuming this is just another case of some publicist overreacting and getting their La Perlas in a twist over nothing, one quick look at the cover in question actually makes us side with the flack this time. Lively's gone out of her way recently to make sure no one confuses her with Paris Hilton, but her puffy eyes, hollow cheekbones and vampire chompers on the Seventeen cover aren't helping her case. Which begs the question: why is it so hard for a magazine to shoot a decent celebrity cover? Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie and Sarah Jessica Parker are all recent victims of the same unflattering cover treatments, and all kinds of oddly unglamorous shots have hit newsstands for years. More »
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Comment by MissHathaway: @Calraigh: I saw that TV Guide and thought "X Files? So who's the chick?" I'm still not convinced that's Gillian... more » | Other threads
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john mayer
John Mayer's Career Vs. John Mayer's Love Life: Does One Not Exist Without The Other?
Where is Jennifer Aniston? We've been asking ourselves that question for what feels like three whole days now. And we're apparently not the only ones. At a gig in Milwaukee last night, boyfriend John Mayer was pouring his heart into those Grammy-winning sobfests he calls a repertoire when the usual "I want your body!" and "Are you sure you're not gay!" yelps from fans turned from coos to catty. Reports People, "Several fans were overheard yelling 'Where's Jennifer?' and 'Bring Jen Out!' in between songs." Though Mayer got his revenge by boring the crowd to tears with a volatile hate rant against the Internet and all its "vulgar" ways, we couldn't help wondering how long the oh-so-serious musician will allow yet another tabloid-y romance interfere with his craft. Or is his craft only sustainable with the help of all these tabloid-y romances? More »
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Comment by Cultmember: The bottom photo looks like a deleted scene from John Carpenter's "The Thing" and he just failed MacReady's blood test! more » | Other threads
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jessica simpson
Jessica Simpson Adds Pamela Anderson To Long List Of 'Bitches' And 'Whores' Who Despise Her
After proving she had little to contribute to the film or starfucking industries, Jessica Simpson finally realized she should keep her pretty-but-pretty-dumb mouth shut for the time being and instead let her t-shirts do the talking, angering PETA in the process. Though the feisty baby seal saviors have their fair share of enemies, they've also impressively managed to get celebrity spokespeople like Alec Baldwin and Eva Mendes to embarrass themselves in public by demanding the public do drugs (Baldwin) or taking off their clothes in the name of fur (Mendes). So naturally, Simpson's public cry for attention irked PETA's most compassionate celebrity nudist, Pamela Anderson, who called her fellow talent-challenged blonde "a bitch and whore" on a radio show. But this is far from the first time Jessica has ruffled another starlet's feathers just by being Jessica. We took a look back at the many ways Simpson has made herself a household name not by selling records or movie tickets, but by starring in her own personal Catfights franchise. More »
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Comment by the sieve: Meh. Nothing a mud pit and a coupla bikinis can't settle. more » | Other threads
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jessica simpson
Why Jessica Simpson Remains Convinced She Is Happy, In Love, And Famous: She Thinks It's Still 1999
Jessica Simpson has officially perfected the art of turning every opportunity to promote whatever is currently going on in her “career†into a public display of desperation. Ever since that gruesome Chicken Or Fish fiasco, we cannot think of a single time the game day curse has appeared on television without making a complete ass of herself. And Jessica managed to continue the pity parade on The View today. Dodging all questions related to her shockingly successful new country single, Simpson instead spun the interview into an embarrassingly blatant attempt to announce to the world how totally in love she and long-suffering QB Tony Romo still are. See Simpson hard at work, and tell us if we’re the only ones noticing a very eerie resemblance between the new Jessica and the bleached, gum-chewing, tear-drenched Britney Spears circa her “We’re just country, y’all!†era. More »
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Comment by gwendolyn: Whatever her deficiencies (and they are legion) her obsessive crush on Mr. Romo is something I can totally relate to. For... more » | Other threads
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jessica simpson
Crisis Averted: Jessica Simpson Defuses Rumor that Poppa Joe Fit Her For Training Bra
In a wide-ranging radio interview conducted before literally tens of adoring fans, Jessica Simpson seized the opportunity to clear up some outlandish rumors: namely, that stage father Joe Simpson is a little more hands-on than necessary. Said the newly-styled country singer to K-FROG (via Us Magazine): More »
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Comment by badhatharry: I know I'm in the minority here, but if she needs help, I'll fit her for a training bra. Yeah, I... more » | Other threads
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missdemeanors
"This Chick Used To Be So Cute. Now She Looks Like She’s Halfway Through A Sex Change. "
Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. These week the "writers" of these celebrity blogs call Jessica Simpson and Hilary Duff 'fat', Tila Tequila a 'whore', and Camila Alves (Matthew McConaughey's pregnant girlfriend) is a "maid" getting "preferential treatment" because of her ethnicity. After the jump, we punish the blogerati for their idiocy. Let the Jezebel justice system begin! [Jezebel]
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By JessicaComment by LiberalManifesto: Perez Hilton's over. No one cares about him and his crude "comments" on celebrities anymore. more » | Other threads
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flacks
The Creepy Brit Who's Destroying The Honorable Craft Of Celebrity Journalism
OK! is the celebrity magazine that is the most willingly manipulated by celebrity flacks, which is really saying something. So it's perfectly appropriate that the magazine just promoted sleazy former celebrity uberflack Rob Shuter to its executive editor position. That's because Shuter is skilled at doing the two things that OK! is most famous for: lying on behalf of celebrities, and losing other people's money. Even he, the great fabulist, couldn't write a more sickening script than this.
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Comment by Lycosidae: @gerbilsoutofexile (loves a good muumuu): I think there was a chapter in The Gift of Fear about how you should... more » | Other threads
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olsen twins
Meat Lover Jessica Simpson Becomes Latest Celebrity To Face Snarky Wrath Of PETA
No blog, talking head or alcoholic British songbird can compete with PETA when it comes to snark. For decades, the animal lovers have verbally beheaded countless starlets for their fur and snakeskin accessories, but only recently have their targets bitten back. After seeing a recent photo of plumper-than-usual Jessica Simpson sporting one of those so-last-season message t-shirts reading “Real Girls Eat Meat,†we wondered how many of her peers have boldly set themselves up for one of PETA’s trademark white powder massacres. Having called Nicole Richie “an incredible shrinking woman with the heart to match,†advising Ashley Olsen that “wearing fur does add 20 pounds, but if [she] wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead,†and telling Lindsay Lohan “there's no road to recovery for the foxes who are anally electrocuted so that you can look skanky,†has PETA inspired any other starlets to publicly react just as vehemently? We take a look at the ongoing battles after the jump. More »
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Comment by ColbertNation: People for the Eating of Tasty Animals unite! more » | Other threads
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Remembering The Fallen
'Forbes' Salutes The Stalling Stars Who Failed To Make The Celebrity 100 Cut
It's easy to forget that for every Hollywood Power List, there exists its neutered companion, the Hollywood Powerless List, filled with familiar faces who happen to be suffering temporarily—or in some cases terminally—from a career on ice. The most complete of these is the Film Threat Frigid List, but on the eve of their annual Celebrity 100 ranking—that "factors in both total earnings and an ability to generate buzz, as measured by TV, print and radio mentions"—Forbes now jumps into the chilled-celeb-ranking fray with a slideshow showcasing this year's "Drop-Offs." More »
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By SethComment by TheQuestion: @Old No.7: Joe Simpson just called, he wants you to stop blabbing his ideas around. more » | Other threads
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wtf
Willie Nelson Is Fucking The Wilson Brothers, Jessica Simpson, Woody Harrelson, And Dan Rather
We can say with complete confidence that we have never been more confused, astonished, entertained, and oddly turned on by a music video than we are today, when we witnessed the magic of Willie Nelson’s “You Don’t Think I’m Funny Anymore.†What sounds incredibly boring turns out to be a tasty Southern stew featuring cameos from Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Woody Harrelson, Jessica Simpson, and Dan Rather. The casting kind of makes sense (Luke did that Movie That Shall Not Be Named with Jessica, Willie loves Jessica, Woody loves Owen, and Dan Rather is, well, available these days?), but whoever directed this clusterfuck of pool-hall scenes, lawn mower races and eerily quick flashes of an obese redneck wearing an “I (Heart) Owen†t-shirt has nevertheless managed to surpass Gondry in kookiness, surpass the Coens in suspense, and pretty much serve up the most bizarre clip we’ve seen yet this year. See what we mean after the jump. [People]
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Comment by bonniegrrl: @Allie Anne: Thanks for posting the full video! I'm still trying to figure out if Jessica did indeed do that... more » | Other threads
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dadagers
Papa Joe Simpson: Hollywood's Least Valuable Player
We have a feeling that, were there a group of deadbeat dads out in Glendale (a la those Dina Lohan-lovin' freaks out East) who got drunk enough one day to form a Totally Awesome Dads Association (TADA!), they would most likely celebrate their first-year anniversary by handing out their Bud Light-drenched award for Father Of The Year to Papa Joe Simpson. Why? Well, as we already know, the former minister-turned-dadager managed to pimp out a few mind-numbingly boring exclusive wedding pictures featuring most annoyingly faux-punk new marrieds on the planet, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, to People a few weeks back. But what we didn’t know was that, at the same time, Simpson was allegedly attempting to sell off his other daughter Jessica — not to the tabloids, but to then-boyfriend Tony Romo. See the astonishing managing skills this guy has? But he reportedly wasn’t stopping at selling off his daughter — he was also said to be pressuring the quarterback to sign a client/manager agreement and become one of the magically successful Simpson Family Players: More »
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Comment by Pay_Me_Or_Pay_Me_No_Attention: Bishop Don Juan wishes he was this man... more » | Other threads
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Win A Date With My Daughter
Who Will Play Role Of Jessica Simpson's Boyfriend In Papa Joe's Sequel To 'Pimp My Daughter'?
At this point in Jessica Simpson’s sad, sad career, it’s become clear that her only chance of making headlines is by sleeping with a new guy, getting dumped by that new guy, or whining over one of the many guys who’ve dumped and/or slept with her. As we learned this week, her most recent conquest — QB Tony Romo, who Jessica called “her future husband†in Glamour’s March issue before admitting that “this article could come out and Tony and I could be broken up†— rid himself of the Game Day Curse just as her ex-fling John Mayer was popping up all over the weeklies swapping spit with Jennifer Aniston and her fembot nips. Naturally, Jessica reacted by drinking herself silly and, we presume, making several late-night calls to her Dadager, Papa Joe, requesting her next romantic PR stunt stat. So the question is: which lucky bachelors will Joepay offset her up with this time to guarantee continuous coverage of his darling daughter? Our suggestions, after the jump. More »
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Comment by gwendemarco: Next up, a country music singer. They're reformed bad boys, they say "ma'am" a lot, will call you "my lady",... more » | Other threads
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Tears And Jeers
'Clingy' Jennifer Aniston And 'Bored' John Mayer Take 'Romance' To New York
Whatever’s going on between Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer has thus far had all the standard Summer Fling ingredients: making out in pools, sunset dinners, word that psychopathic ex-girlfriends are drowning in tears and booze, and so on. But last night, the cougar and cad took their lovey dovey tour to New York, doing the double date thing at celebrity haunts and hiding out in cloudy cigar bars, leading onlookers to believe the new Demi and Ashton are having more than just fun in the sun. However, reports that John is “bored†already, combined with Jennifer’s alleged “clingy†and starstruck groupie behavior at one of his gigs have us worried that Aniston will be yet another tear-soaked ex on the crooner’s widdled down bed post... More » -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Jessica Is Dumped; Nicole's In Tears & It's Lindsay's Fault
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we search for actual news amongst the blaring headlines of the weekly celebrity magazines. Today Jessica Simpson has earned herself two covers for being (maybe) dumped by Tony Romo and (maybe) jealous that John Mayer is with Jennifer Aniston. Reese Witherspoon gets a cover because she might marry Jake Gyllenhaal. Nicole Richie gets a cover because her baby daddy Joel Madden was seen sitting next to Lindsay Lohan. And Brad Pitt gets a cover and the headline "Brad Walks Away," because he is pictured, um, walking away. Intern Sharon assists in our thirsty quest for the quench of juicy gossip in In Touch, Life & Style, Star, OK! and Us. [Jezebel]
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By DodaiComment by beatrice3000: I must be the only one who thought of Steve Urkel going "I'm wearing you DOOOOOWWWWN!" more » | Other threads
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maghag
Jessica Simpson In Glamour: Did She Jinx It With Tony Romo, Or Was She Just Being "Honest"?
Ugh. The curse of the celebrity ladymag strikes again? Just a week after Glamour's June issue hit newsstands, cover girl Jessica Simpson has reportedly split with Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. Although InStyle Weddings is perhaps the most famous example of why celebs should probably not publicize their private lives in periodicals, Simpson's Q&A with Glamour is notable for how much it focuses on her relationship — over 50% of the 2,500-word piece is devoted to talk of "Tony". ("I love your honesty, Jessica," writer Josh Patner tells Simpson after plying her with Chardonnay and getting some choice quotes about Romo. Yeah, Josh — you love it because it sells magazines!) And then, at the end of the interview, there's this gem: "This article could come out and Tony and I could be broken up." After the jump, the singer's most memorable quotes about the romance that, as of today, was just six days shy of hitting the six-month mark. [Jezebel]
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By AnnaComment by CrazyRatLady: I don't like her but please, don't be mean, I feel so sorry for her despite being a cynical bee-atch... more » | Other threads
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cover lies
Glamour's '50 Most Glamorous' Does Not Include Cover Model Jessica Simpson
Yes! The June Glamour is here, and, once again, it is full of useless features, like the reader-generated list of the "50 Most Glamorous Women." It's so refreshing to see a montage of the Patrick McMullan red carpet crossed-leg poses and pouts we've seen a million times before. Too bad that list excludes boobilicious cover model, Jessica Simpson, who just so happens to sit on the cover so unGlamourously. And why is it that the coverline about vagina normality rests so suspiciously close to Jessica's very own hoo-hah? Could this be a case of accidental art direction? After the jump, find out all the other really useful information inside the June Glamour, including some genius advice on how to make men worship you (hint: it involves breasts). [Jezebel] -
defamer
The Jennifer Aniston Dating Game: Fun Like 'Go Fish' Or Depressing And Endless Like 'Monopoly'?
When news that Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer got together for a "touchy, feely" lunch date and dinner in Miami over the weekend broke, the entire community of celebrity observers and glossy magazine readers let out a big ol' collective yawn. Aniston has been linked to (and we're roughly estimating here) seven hundred or so possible paramours since her split with Brad Pitt, and Mayer has pulled what Liz Phair would call the all-too-common "fuck and run" on so many starlets that he earned Us's "Cad of the Year" award. But just because the gossip is yawnworthy doesn't mean there isn't a larger issue here: mainly, is Aniston really dating or trying to date all these guys-of-the-month, or is this charade her publicist's idea of spinning her post-divorce life into an unglamorous version of Sex And The City? More » -
defamer
Papa Joe Simpson Officially More Ruinous To Daughters' Lives Than Dina Lohan
Has Joe Simpson gone from a pimpy fame-hungry Dadager to a bonafide nutcase? Not that we're surprised or anything, but his recent interferences with daughter Jessica's "relationship" with quarterback Tony Romo suggest there may be a few gurney-riding trips in his future. As OK! reports this week, Joe's intrusive behavior has Romo's family feeling like their son is being used and, even more disturbing, he showed up uninvited to a private Mexico vacation Jess and Tony took earlier this year. According to OK's source, "Whatever hopes Tony had of his relationship with Jessica turning into something real pretty much ended with Joe's stunt. According to his friends, they're pretty much just friends with benefits." But judging from Jess's romantic past, isn't Friend With Benefits pretty much her primary career these days? More »
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Comment by jasonelias: @TurdBlossom: Yeah, he even talked about his daughter's boobs. more » | Other threads
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defamer
Jessica Simpson Tries To Pull A Lohan, Minus Rhyme, Reason And Nudity
As proven by Lindsay Lohan, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a contemporary actress attempting to recreate the magic of an iconic 60s photo shoot. But while the just-rehabbed Lohan chose to recreate an infamous shoot featuring soft-core nudity, Jessica Simpson chose to ... shave her face? Don't get us wrong, we loves us some Verna Lisi, but this just doesn't have the same Wow Factor. More »
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Comment by Benovite: Yes because Jessica Simpson with a shaving creme goatee will get me to read anything. = / more » | Other threads
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the clip show
Lessons Learned
What did we learn about our favorite celebrities this week? Glad you asked! More » -
defamer
Defamer Rump Day Special: Hollywood's Top Five Butts
When we heard today that Christina Ricci instructed her trainer to give her Jessica Biel's butt for her upcoming role in Speed Racer, we too remembered our longtime fascination with Biel's hard bottom. Even though Justin Timberlake famously praised the back door of Kylie Minogue, we're sure he's doing just fine enjoying his current girlfriend's assets. And considering we've had asses on the brain since Gisele thrust hers into our face this morning, we decided to just declare this Hump Day, well, Rump Day. Herewith, we present our picks for the top five best butts in Hollywood. And not to worry ladies; we'll be sure to devote an upcoming Hump Day to the male stars with the most appealing cushions for pushing. More »
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Comment by kendalldoesit: @bowleen: i can't believe i forgot that Jezebel exists to "take care of all that PC shit" so that defamer... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Our Top Three Conspiracy Theories Regarding Jessica Simpson's 'Kidney Infection'
Singer/actress/Game Day curse Jessica Simpson was recently treated for a kidney infection at Cedars-Sinai, according to People today. Though her rep assures us she's been released and is doing just fine, our ears tend to perk up whenever we hear of a troubled starlet being rushed to the hospital for all kinds of issues, be they asthma attacks or a simple case of the Batshits. But this is the first time in recent memory that a celeb has attributed their hospital visit to the kind of condition one generally (well, pretty much always) associates with the joy of sex. We did a bit of research, and came up with our top three guesses on what (or who) sent Jess to the operating table, after the jump. More »
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Comment by StevieRayHalen: said "Bacterium" was most likely pissed for picking..."The dumbest host body possible..." and decided to band together and 'flare up'... more » | Other threads
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Comment by MidTwix: "Please don't let anyone be hit in the eye when the buttons on my shirt blow. Thank you, Jesus. Amen." more » | Other threads
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fame game
Twenty New Reality Hopefuls Will Compete For Paris Hilton's Heart (And The Chance To Break It)
With Nicole Richie playing house for the next five minutes or so, Kim Kardashian having moved on to mall clothing endorsements and her own show, and sister Nicky entrapped in a brand new anorexia scandal, Paris Hilton has no one to play with. Not even her hypersexual litter of puppies. So she's prepared to do what Britney and Jessica Simpson did before her: pay someone to be her friend. Teaming up with MTV and Ish Entertainment, Paris announced the debut of her next reality show, Paris Hilton's My New BFF, in which 20 lucky boys and girls will prove to Paris that they're capable of being loyal, trustworthy pals who won't try to feel her up or plan porny video attacks mid-party. As Paris herself put it, "[I am looking for] someone I can just trust, someone who's not gonna stab me in the back like has happened a lot in this town, someone I can have fun with." But what does the winner get in exchange? More »
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Comment by ♠ Final ♠: They need a law in LA to stop feeding the Attention Whores... and against plaid shorts that don't match your... more » | Other threads
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defamer
John Mayer Harnesses The Power Of The Internet To Lash Out At A Clingy Ex
First John Mayer started to grow on us (a little bit) with his skills handling the TMZ paparazzi and voracious autograph seekers, then he won us over (okay, a lot) when we saw him jogging on a yacht wearing green Borat butt floss tightly wound across his nearly perfect buttocks. And now, having penned a giant Fuck You to one of his exes online, he's officially convinced us that we were correct in falling head over heels for the guy after witnessing his rendition of "Chocolate Rain" on Best Week Ever. But back to the story at hand! Earlier this week, John had the following to say toJessica Simpsonone of his anonymous ex-girlfriends:"Dear Ex Lover. Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don't know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I'm done trying."
More »
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Comment by cupcakes: You have to find his short-lived (one episode, hilarious) Vh1 show from like four years ago. No one watched... more » | Other threads
defamer
Hollywood, 2:13 AM
Sat Jul 11
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