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scandal
Photos Leak of Jessica Alba at Meeting of Yale Secret Society
About an hour ago a tip came in featuring the following subject line: "Jessica Alba Visits Yale Secret Society, Pictures Leaked!" Whoa! The "Wolf's Head Society?!" Oh hell yes! Let's take a look, shall we?
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film schooled
Valentine's Day: What He's Just Not That Into You Hath Wrought
In February, thanks to a star-studded cast and aggressive marketing, He's Just Not That Into You made $94 million, despite being a gay minstrel show with "desperately needy" heroines and black people punchlines. Guess what? [Jezebel] -
feuds
Bill O'Reilly Challenges Jessica Alba's Knowledge of European Peace-Keeping
Though we were heartened by Jessica Alba's recent kiss-off of Bill O'Reilly (her best performance since Into the Blue!), she's now been sucked back into a Fox News fight that's paying off with diminished returns. More » -
hollywood privacywatch
Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren
1/26 — JESSICA ALBA and CASH WARREN courtside at the Clippers/Trailblazers game last night. Everyone knows that Cash is Baron Davis' buddy, so shouldn't they go to a game when Baron actually PLAYS? [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.] -
politics
Jessica Alba's O'Reilly-Bashing Inspires Unfamiliar New Feelings Of Respect
When Bill O'Reilly's producers sought to ambush dim-bulb celebrities at the Inauguration festivities, they settled upon Jessica Alba as a potential target. Alba, however, was having none of it. More » -
casting
Jessica Alba, Cloris Leachman Join Jack Black as Glitzy 'Office' Temps
NBC will leave no stunt unplayed in its attempt to own Super Bowl Sunday, with Jessica Alba and Cloris Leachman now confirmed to appear alongside Jack Black in that night's special hour-long Office episode. -
jessica alba
Man Who Helped Doom 'Love Guru' Finds Next Target: Jessica Alba's Tattoo
Last we heard from Rajan Zed, the "acclaimed Hindu statesman" was single-handedly derailing The Love Guru's chances for interfaith box-office success. Having spectacularly accomplished that mission, he has since moved on to an even more dire crisis of modern spirituality. To wit: Can Hinduism survive Jessica Alba's body art? More » -
jessica alba
Palate Refresher! And now, we offer you something completely different: a picture of Jessica Alba in character as, uh, "a young woman who has retreated from the world and is consumed by numbers and math" in her upcoming film, An Invisible Sign of My Own. Here in California, we're still a little consumed with the number 8, so it's relief to lose ourselves in Alba's mousy brown hair, Ugly Betty garb, and shocking lack of makeup (this proves that she is smart because smart girls do not wear makeup, say the movies). Jess, we know you're trying to pull off the Oscar move known as "the Charlize," but we think we like you better when you're glammed up and muzzling the chick from Heroes. Click through for full-size. [Flynet] -
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jonah hill
8 Dos and Donts For Making the Perfect Celebrity PSA
We're 15 days away from arguably the most culturally charged election of the last 50 years, and it's not just David Letterman's outrage or Sarah Palin's SNL cameos moving the needle. In fact, the celebrity PSA crop of 2008 is as ripe as it's ever been — literally so, in fact, with every encouraging offering on the air giving way to three or four smug, pretentious, condescending or otherwise botched campaigns elsewhere. It happens every four years, as sure as the primaries; just when we think we'd seen it bottom out, along come Leonardo Di Caprio, Blake Lively, Carlos Mencia to knock us back to the Clinton era. More » -
jessica alba
Act Now, And Watch Pitchwoman Jessica Alba Apply a Muzzle to Hayden Panettiere
From megastars like Matt Damon to Cutting Edge alums like D.B. Sweeney, it seems like every celebrity in Hollywood has an opinion about this November's presidential election. Earlier this week, actress Jessica Alba decided to muzzle herself if that's what it would take to get America to vote (an enticing motivator, though perhaps not as compelling as keeping Diddy out of sight forever). Now, a curiously able-to-speak again Alba has decided to pay it forward, muzzling other celebrities like Heroes star Hayden Panettiere and 90210's Tristan Wilds (is this because he made out with Dakota? Is it?!). Props must be paid to Alba, whose maniacally enthusiastic pitch should probably shoot to the top of her reel. Extra points if she can sew Dane Cook's lips shut next time! More » -
jessica alba
Jessica Alba Muzzles Self For America's Sake
An election year will make stars do all kinds of crazy things, from role-playing to mile-high one-night stands. Jessica Alba tends to get especially frisky, with her recent participation in the voter-registration campaign Declare Yourself revealing a certain taste for bondage — as a metaphor for twisting in voiceless civic oblivion, of course, not her and Cash Warren's predilection when the baby is out at grandma's or wherever. Or maybe it's both! We just don't know. Point being, her duct-taped agony of a while back has today given way to the far more modest Hannibal Lecter muzzle, the latest DY ad to make its way public. (The Unrated, Extended Director's Cut follows the jump.) More » -
dane cook
Dane Cook's Love Scene Secrets: Minty Freshness, Strategic Groping
Dane Cook is finally playing nice these days on behalf of hisMr. Fix-It remakenew film My Best Friend's Girl, getting through an entire interview recently without once mentioning his mildly vagina-like face or those other movie-poster mishaps that so traumatized him last month. In their place, readers are treated to hints about Cook's sweeter, sensitive side — the leading man in him who prepares for onscreen interludes with a grueling two-month training routine for his mouth and hands: More » -
trade roundup
Will Pharaoh
· Will Smith will star in The Last Pharaoh, playing Taharqa, the actual pharaoh who fought off the Assyrian invasion of Egypt in 677 B.C. Didn't Eddie Murphy play that guy already in the "Remember The Time" video? [Variety] More » -
celebrity babies
Alba, McConaughey Offspring Already Slumming It With OK!
Ah, the three trimesters of Hollywood child birth: 1. pretend to love pregnancy, 2. schedule a c-section in order to sidestep any labor or stretching of siren vag, and 3. whore out your newborn's picture to the highest bidder. It's such a magical time! And while there are critics, it's a natural response to choose to splash your baby's face across the tabloids, especially when you constantly publicly reminisce about the good ol' days when you could buy panty liners in private. And why participate in the Hollywood Baby Bonanza? It's not like the early publicity will morph your kid into some kind of poorly mannered fauxhawked skunk. However, it will get you paid. More » -
jessica alba
Jessica Alba's Dislikes: Babies, Husbands, Actors And Being Pregnant
Okay. Until now, we’d tried to give Jessica Alba the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she’s impossible to watch in any movie she’s ever made, what with her amateur acting skills that include crafted facial expressions such as “I’m Happy, See, Because You Can See My Teeth!” and “I’m Sexy, See, Because You Can See My Bikini-Clad Butt!” And yes, she made pregnancy look like possibly the most miserable state of being, unlike all those other actresses who affected the standard Glow (see Naomi Watts and even Nicole Kidman, incapable of moving her face, yet still dewy and happy ‘til the arrival of her daughter Sunday). But after reading an excerpt from new mom Alba in next month’s UK Cosmo, we think it’s safe to say the actress, who insults all male actors, obsesses over her weight, and shows warning signs of early Husband Emasculation, is on her way to becoming the next Katherine Heigl: More » -
jessica alba
How Do Stars Magically Make Baby Weight Disappear? Money, Insanity, And Tons Of Booze
This probably won't come as a surprise to anyone who witnessed her seemingly hating every minute she spent pregnant, but new mom Jessica Alba has joined that elite niche of stars who lost all their baby weight at insanely rapid speeds. But the methods some celebrities have confessed to using when it comes to accelerating the path towards reclaiming their old figures don’t sound entirely sane. From suffering through cabbage soup diets to dropping $50,000 on gym equipment in an effort to slim down at paces up to 14 days after giving birth, the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Richie and others have some highly unique and scary track records. Which stars drunk themselves into wine-induced oblivion and trusted online blood tests to reach their goals, after the jump. More » -
cameron diaz
Diamond-Spotting: Cameron Diaz Latest Star Teasing Us With Rumor-Sparking Sparklers
Shouldn’t single actresses know by now that giant diamonds worn on a particular finger shouldn't be flaunted in public? Cameron Diaz was photographed sporting an ostentatious sparkler yesterday in Santa Monica, suspiciously displaying the gory piece on her engagement ring-reserved finger in a very blatant manner. But considering she’s just barely started dating former cokehead/Jennifer Aniston ex Paul Sculfor, and has been linked to half a dozen other canoodling partners in the past few months, we’re not jumping on the “Diaz Engaged!” bandwagon quite yet. The notoriously anti-paparazzi actress might have just wanted to fuck with her camera-flashing enemies. Still, whenever a star makes the decision to debut a big ol’ gem there, it’s proven tough to gage those inevitable engagement rumors’ validity. We looked back at celebrity diamond-spotting of the past, from the most firm denials that led to splashy weddings, to the sure things that turned out to be false alarms, after the jump. More » -
jessica alba
AFI Recruits Storied Cineaste Jessica Alba To Deconstruct Film's Greatest Treasures
Everybody loves lists, right? Especially those mystifying annual tallies compiled by the American Film Institute, which lumps together 100 films by style or some other vague calculation of merit upholding AFI's profile in cultural irrelevance. Its latest list mixes things up a little, however, featuring a who's who of talent ruminating on the 100 best "genre" films — from Westerns to sci-fi to mysteries, 10 at a time. But for every Clint Eastwood commentary about The Searchers or Roman Polanski insight about Chinatown, we've got Sean Astin chiming in about Judgment at Nuremberg and Jessica Alba weighing in on... well, we've assembled the greatest hits after the jump. Let it suffice to say that Annie Hall is closer than you might have thought to Alba's self-described, "stomach-turning" neurosis and that Cher is... yeah, she's the best. [AFI] -
holy war
New Video Hints Mike Myers Less Than Two Weeks From Claiming America's Anti-Comedy Crown
Psst! Reader! Yes, you — really quick, do us a favor: Watch the accompanying video to this item and tell us if you saw what we just saw. Granted, we (and pretty much everybody, as far as we know) have yet to view The Love Guru, so perhaps the black hole of comprehension herein is purely contextual. Or maybe it really is as simple as Mike Myers giving back another few years' worth of cultural goodwill as the title character, joining Jessica Alba and a hookah-hitting Verne Troyer in a sitar-heavy, almost scandalously unfunny take on Steve Miller's stoner anthem, "The Joker." Moreover, help us with another thing: Combined with the compounded misfires at the MTV Movie Awards, is Myers slyly usurping the likes of Neil Hamburger as anti-comedy's most powerful talent? Because we could get behind this, if so — except for the Indian guy playing banjo. There is absolutely no excusing Indian banjo players. [Paramount] More » -
births
The Bronze Child Cometh! Jessica Alba and Cash Warren Welcome Baby Girl
Jessica Alba and Cash Warren apparently aren't playing along with the latest "hasty media retraction" trend in celebrity parenting, instead just blithely going along with reports that Alba gave birth this weekend to the couple's daughter Honor Marie Warren. As the actress was due in late May, however, we have no reason to doubt the Bronze Child is among us: "Alba's father was overheard saying, 'She's beautiful,' " US Weekly reported in a bulletproof dispatch from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. "Warren — in a T-shirt, jeans and baseball cap — was spotted carrying food into the maternity ward Sunday." More » -
missdemeanors
Lily Allen Is "Tubby And Party-Hat Nippled"
Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. You know, we rage against the celebrity blogger machine every week for being anti-female, but maybe we should rage against them more frequently for being anti-funny. Because seriously? These people make the same. Jokes. Every. Damn. Week. Pregnant women are [insert word for "fat" here]; Paris Hilton is [insert term for "slut" here]. It's like playing misogynist madlibs with these fools. If they're going to be jerks, the least they could do is be moderately creative. But alas! Join us in applying some much deserved Jezebel justice to these cliché cocks, after the jump. [Jezebel] -
defamer
It's Official: Mike Myers and Rest of 'Love Guru' Principals Doomed to 1,000 Years in Hell
We were sorry to read this week about the certain fiery purgatory awaiting slumping star Mike Myers, pregnant newlywed Jessica Alba and the rest of those associated with the production of The Love Guru, Myers' new "comedy" that drew such scorn last month from spiritual leaders around the country. We now learn that after a bit more finger-wagging and number-crunching, a dreadful trailer is the least the principals — and its viewers — have to worry about: More » -
defamer
Jessica Alba And Cash Warren Made Husband And Wife
Jessica Marie Alba and Cash Garner Warren were married on Monday in the Beverly Hills courthouse's ceremony room in Beverly Hills, California. More » -
hollywood privacywatch
Jessica Alba Is Pregnant, Hungry and Unwilling To Wait In Line
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week (depending on volume), so send them in early and often—without them, we'll surely be forced to endure another Pellicano trial! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Jessica Alba cut in the breakfast line at the Griddle Cafe. More » -
missdemeanors
"Not Even Her Milky Tits Can Hide The Fact That She's Almost The Size Of A Small Minivan"
Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. Same circus, different clowns, you guys. Getting pregnant "ruins everything," Pink is "a dude" and Katherine Heigl "needs to work on her legs. The offenders, their crimes and sentences, after the jump. (And, because someone picked on Brooke Hogan, all sentences today will be pro-wrestling moves.) [Jezebel] -
missdemeanors
"Pregnancy Slowly Turns Even The Hottest Chicks Into Monsters"
Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. There was sooooo much bullshit this week, including a lovely diatribe about feminists by your friend Drunken Stepfather. Also! Pregnant women are "monsters," Sharon Stone "looks her age," Jennifer Love Hewitt has a "big ass" and so much more. Another great week of "writing" on the internet! The offenders, their crimes and sentences, after the jump. [Jezebel] -
defamer
Mike Myers Set To Host MTV Movie Awards, Resuming Sorely Missed Tradition Of Actual Talent At Show's Shaky Helm
The MTV Movie Awards have always managed to deliver one or half a dozen memorable moments worthy of YouTube legacy. But the host of the show has rarely been a factor in determining that year's success story, until the producers' decision to enlist Sarah Silverman last year finally lifted the program's ratings. With last year's success still fresh in their minds, MTV has announced that Mike Myers will helm the 2008 edition, signaling a definitive return to the program's roots. Sixteen years ago, the show premiered with Dennis Miller at the wheel, followed by SNL alum Eddie Murphy, Jon Lovitz, two Jimmy Fallon appearances and of course, Myers' own try in 1997. But recently MTV has rolled their dice with more commercially appealing faces like Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba. We took a look back at the show's hosting history to figure out if the show's host, like love, has anything to do with it. More » -
defamer
Defamer Rump Day Special: Hollywood's Top Five Butts
When we heard today that Christina Ricci instructed her trainer to give her Jessica Biel's butt for her upcoming role in Speed Racer, we too remembered our longtime fascination with Biel's hard bottom. Even though Justin Timberlake famously praised the back door of Kylie Minogue, we're sure he's doing just fine enjoying his current girlfriend's assets. And considering we've had asses on the brain since Gisele thrust hers into our face this morning, we decided to just declare this Hump Day, well, Rump Day. Herewith, we present our picks for the top five best butts in Hollywood. And not to worry ladies; we'll be sure to devote an upcoming Hump Day to the male stars with the most appealing cushions for pushing. More » -
startups
Jessica Alba helps promote Baron Davis's startup iBeatYou
If you're going to waste time at work on a social network, why lavish it on the proles of Facebook? You could instead luxuriate it on the wildly attractive Jessica Alba and NBA All-Star Baron "Bulletproof" Davis of our hometown Golden State Warriors. Davis and old friend Cash Warren, Alba's paramour, cofounded Alba's favored social network, iBeatYou. The basic premise: One interacts through friendly contests like Best Beard. But the "differentiator," in Valleyspeak, is Alba and Davis's celebrity draw. It kind of reminds me of the now-defunct Consumating, except with playful jocks instead of indie rock hipsters. After the jump, NewTeeVee's Liz Gannes captured a moment with the effusive Davis. More » -
missdemeanors
"Almost Any Girl With A Dick In Her Mouth Could Be Mistaken For Lindsay Lohan"
Well, folks, another Friday, another shitty week in the gossip blog universe. It's simply amazing how many writers think trashing and insulting women is "funny." With that, we welcome you back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. Let the Jezebel justice system begin! [Jezebel] -
missdemeanors
Liv Tyler Is A "Pale Fattie" With A "Hilariously Small Head"
Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. This week? Pregnant still=fat. WTF people?? Also, Celine Dion must be an animal, since she has body hair; Jamie Lynn Spears must be a Star Wars villain, since she is pregnant; and Liv Tyler is a "pale fattie." All this and so much more, after the jump. Let the Jezebel justice system begin! [Jezebel] -
technical issues
Kate Hudson Latest Recipient Of A Digital Boob Job
Shocking (shocking!) news has surfaced that yet another flat-chested actress was deemed not voluptuous enough for her movie poster. The lusty marketing team behind Fool's Gold are not fools; they realized that Kate Hudson's no Lindsay Lohan in the breast department. To that end, The Daily Mail is reporting that Hudson's natural A-cups were boosted up to Bs in promotional pictures for the film, possibly in an effort to give Matthew McConaughey's pecs a run for their money. But Kate's not the only cleavage-challenged actress that's been digitally bazoomed on a poster. Anyone remember the titular tales behind Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, Emma Watson and yes, even Lindsay Lohan's digital enhancements? We do! More » -
defamer
Oscars 2008: Top Ten Best Dressed Women
Compared to the last few years of beige, gold and altogether safe ensembles, this year's Academy Awards carpet was delightfully packed with surprising silhouettes (Heidi's exaggerated popped collar), feather detail that drifted nowhere near tackiness (Jessica Alba), and form-fitting strapless dresses that made actresses (gasp!) look like they have actual curvalicious figures (Cameron Diaz). Herewith, our glance at who we think stopped the show last night with their expertly picked dresses. More » -
defamer
Jessica Alba: Studies In O-Face
Following in the current publishing world trend of putting leading actresses of the day in meticulously art directed recreations of Hitchcock films, naked Marilyn spreads, and other potentially terrifying scenarios, Jessica Alba sat for a series of iconic horror movie tableaus for Latina magazine. The shoot called upon the unsung-serious-actress- trapped-in- the-body-of-a -mindblowing-hottie to reach deeper into her own talent stores than ever before. And reach she did, pulling out every open-mouthed trick in her acting playbook, to put her own imprint on such iconic cinematic moments as (from L to R) Rosemary's Baby, the Psycho shower scene, and the climactic pigeon-attack from Working Girl. More » -
defamer
Every Tween In America Turns Out For Hannah Montana's Big Screen Debut
As you and your loved one attempt to pry off the beer helmet that became glued to your head by a combination of sweat and Coors Light runoff, enjoy the weekend box office numbers: More » -
charts
Jessica Alba, By The Numbers: Rotten To The Core
Our first indication that something might be awry with Jessica Alba's career came not when that guy on TRL told her that getting pregnant was "Not cool, dude", but rather when we saw the one-sheet for her new movie, The Eye. While certainly a captivating Photoshop job (ish), we found it fairly bizarre that Lionsgate would choose NOT to use the beautiful visage of one of the most lusted-after actresses in the world to promote their film. But then we did some research on Rotten Tomatoes and realized something very important. Save for fanboy fave Sin City, no one really seems to have liked any of the films she's starred in. More » -
jessica alba
The career-long battle between Jessica Alba's artistic ambition and the typecast-inviting good looks she knows are preventing her from becoming a Serious Actress rages on, with Alba once again issuing a public plea for someone, anyone to hand her some ugly-making prosthetics—a crooked nose, a suppurating sore, five extra eyes, whatever—and trust her to deliver their passion project to Oscar glory: "Most of all, Alba, who admires Charlize Theron's Oscar-winning transformation in Monster, wants to be seen as a multifaceted actress who can take on any role. 'I'm not really attached to my appearance,' she confesses. 'I know I can get dressed up and look like something. But what's more of a challenge is someone allowing you to play that role and letting you go there — having a director and writers believe in you. To do something where I got to just concentrate on the performance and discover, that's the ultimate, as far as I'm concerned.'" [LAT]
















































