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midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Lots Of Baby Drama & Weight Loss Tips From Obama
Welcome to the final Midweek Madness of the year, in which the tabloids inform us that we're all overweight Americans. [Jezebel] -
midweek madness
This Week in Tabloids: Which Celebs Are Unwrapping the Gift of Herpes?
This Christmas Eve, we bring you tidings of Midweek Madness. [Jezebel] -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Jilted Wives, Jingle Bells & The Return of J.Lo
It's Midweek Madness time, and this week, most of the covers focus on Brad and Angie: Their made up summer wedding, holiday plans with the kids, and feud with Jennifer Aniston. [Jezebel] -
rumors
Leah Remini Ready to Drag J-Lo Away from 'Suppressive' Marc Anthony
America's favorite love affair between a former Fly Girl and a Puerto Rican skeleton may be coming to a tragic end. That is, if Leah Remini has anything to say about it! -
girls' guides
What Brad Pitt, J. Lo, & Contraception Have In Common
J. Lo is slated to star in a new movie called Plan B, which, unfortunately, is not a rollicking comedy about the morning after pill. It's about having lots of babies! [Jezebel] -
jennifer lopez
J. Lo Hesitant To Add 'Scientologist' To Her Multi-Hyphenate Resume
In the "special skills" area on the back of her headshot, renaissance woman Jennifer Lopez is able to list so very many things: whispery acting, AutoTune proficiency, early 1990s dance mastery... the list goes on and on. Still, there is one useful Hollywood skill that La Lopez has always been cagey about showing off, and it's her intimate familiarity with Scientology. Though her dad has been a Scientologist for over twenty years and Lopez pals around with famous L. Ron disciples like Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Leah Remini, she tells the Daily Beast that she's still a free agent — though her new twins might not be so lucky: More » -
Lynda Lopez
BREAKING NEWS: Over the wires from Us Weekly comes this exclusive, breaking story, which the magazine immediately rushed to the top of its website: "Jennifer Lopez's Sister Has Baby Girl!" According to the magazine, sister Lynda "and her beau Adam Goldfried" welcomed their daughter into the world on August 28. Knowledge of this three-week-old birth from the sister of a celebrity is now yours — must credit Us Weekly. [Us] -
barack obama
J-Lo, J-Hud and Dems Playing Poker: A 'Defamer Decides' Round-Up
How does the slowest industry news week of the year suddenly become a busy one at Defamer? Simple: Just add a Washington bureau! However, since we entered grueling negotiations last week to bring Victoria Jackson aboard as our full-time bureau chief and ideological consultant, we've fallen behind on a list of essential stories coming out of this week's Democratic National Convention. So for the sake of your political edification and our poor, congested inboxes, here's the latest worth knowing from Denver and beyond: More » -
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jennifer lopez
Romcom Bonanza to Nudge J-Lo Back Into Low-Wattage Spotlight
Clearly bored with the twins, absentee star Jennifer Lopez is set for a busy run of on-camera distractions in the months ahead. And perhaps needless to say after her '07 run of dodgy, self-produced dramas, the output to come promises a veritable bounty of romcoms playing to the constituency that will finally get J-Lo over that $100 million hump. Or maybe the $25 million hump — any hump, really, would likely satisfy producer Bob Yari, who's bankrolling The Governess this fall: More » -
katie holmes
Is Katie Holmes' Severe New Bob A Stealthy Way To Extricate Herself From Her Marriage To Tom Cruise?
In light of some breaking hair-related news involving future fugitive Katie Holmes, we must admit that we’ve underestimated the Scientology prisoner. As the Daily Mail reported over the weekend, Broadway’s least-alluring celebrity rookie recently chopped off even more of her already chin-grazing bob, and even dared to pull out those hair curlers in what could be the beginning move in a new strategy to finally flee the Knights of Hubbard. Though Kate’s "boyish" cut may backfire, it’s a clever plan nonetheless. Below, we provide five of the best examples of drastic 'do-caused catastrophes directly linked to highly publicized breakups, from Jennifer Aniston’s self-conscious bob that led to Brangelina, to Cameron Diaz’s unfortunate goth dye job that failed to inspire any future sex or love sounds from Justin Timberlake: More » -
jennifer lopez
Jennifer Lopez's Twins Ordered Never To Wear Same Outfit Twice (And Why J. Lo Shouldn't, Either)
Jennifer Lopez, new member of that oh-so-trendy and elite twinset pregnancy club, is continuing her fashionable legacy by deciding never to dress her mini-Marc Anthonys in the same designer outfit twice. As much as this news doesn’t surprise us, considering the international (national? not so much!) superstar’s notoriously highbrow taste in ridiculously pricey bling, we’re fairly sure where J. Lo got the idea. Even though the past few years have seen post-pregnancy slim faster Lopez awarded the #1 spot on many a prominent Best Dressed List in the glossies, her pre-glamour girl days were adorned with some of the most horrific ensembles ever to break camera lenses with their floppy fedoras, belly-baring latex bikini tops and, of course, her infamous frontless, transparent green monster worn at the 2000 Grammys. The top five outfits we’re grateful Lopez never dared wear twice, after the jump: More » -
jennifer lopez
There's troubling news out of Pasadena today as we're hearing Jennifer Lopez's Latin eatery Madre's is "closed until further notice." The 6-year old restaurant shuttered July 1 with little more heads-up than a sign in the window; the appliances have not yet been liquidated in exchange for a month's supply of J-Lo's preferred organic twin formula, as far as we know, so perhaps the staff just needs a summer's rest from bad tomatoes and/or Stephen Hawking's infamous, mechanized flirtations. But don't fret! Recent developments ensure easy stargazing at the Newsroom Cafe these days, and in any case, we can sympathize with La Lopez; restaurants are a tough go, and Lord knows she's got enough damn people to feed at home these days. [TMZ, Photo Credit: Getty Images] -
jessica alba
How Do Stars Magically Make Baby Weight Disappear? Money, Insanity, And Tons Of Booze
This probably won't come as a surprise to anyone who witnessed her seemingly hating every minute she spent pregnant, but new mom Jessica Alba has joined that elite niche of stars who lost all their baby weight at insanely rapid speeds. But the methods some celebrities have confessed to using when it comes to accelerating the path towards reclaiming their old figures don’t sound entirely sane. From suffering through cabbage soup diets to dropping $50,000 on gym equipment in an effort to slim down at paces up to 14 days after giving birth, the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Richie and others have some highly unique and scary track records. Which stars drunk themselves into wine-induced oblivion and trusted online blood tests to reach their goals, after the jump. More » -
knights of hubbard
Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Throw Bash For Everyone In Hollywood Who Secretly Hates Them, Including Suri
When the Count and Countess of Scientology throw a party, they do not set out plastic lawn chairs and serve crustless honey-drenched finger sandwiches. No, when TomKat decide to invite all of their friends and frenemies (and even some enemies!) over for a daytime soirée, the Knights of Hubbard throw the kind of party that puts everyone from the Royal Family to Donatella Versace to shame. On Saturday afternoon, TomKat decided to congratulate themselves on purchasing yet another of their manytorture chambersloving households in Beverly Hills by hosting the likes of Kirstie “I Should Be Dead” Alley, Oprah “Never Forget” Winfrey, Victoria “Posher Than Katie” Beckham, and Jennifer “Marc Is Sick Again” Lopez. And putting aside Suri’s adorably Croc-like sandals and her ongoing tendency to appear just as frightened of her father as the rest of the world, this A-list party’s most impressive attributes were the pimped out rides. After the jump, a collection of the invitees in their modes of transportations, and a sampling of just how much security goes into protecting their Friends and Foes from Xenu’s ominous Orwellian eye: More » -
we are all on drugs
Eva Mendes Blames That Silly Rehab Stay On Very Serious Bout Of Method Acting
What better way to annul your time spent in rehab than by pulling the old “It was just research!” card? That’s what Eva Mendes is allegedly claiming, pegging her January stay at Le Cirque in Utah to an upcoming role in Queen Of The South where she'll play a female drug lord or, as some have termed the character, “the female Scarface.” At the time, so-called insiders came forward saying Mendes was everything from a “closet drinker” to a prescription drug addict. Though it’s a nice thought that Mendes’ month-long stay alongside real-live drunk Kirsten Dunst was just a hush-hush effort to really feel like a druggie, we took a look at the timeline coupled with Mendes’ past, and find the excuse weak at best: More » -
monsters
Jennifer Lopez's Contractor Summoned From Birthday Dinner With His Dying Mother
One finds the best celebrity blind items in the Home & Garden section of the New York Times. Joyce Wadler, who once helmed the newspaper's tepid Boldface Names gossip column, winkled out a delicious anecdote about one of luxury contractor John Finton's most demanding celebrity clients.
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rocks of love
Scarlett Johansson Shows Off New Engagement Ring, But How Does It Compare To Celebrity Rocks Of Yore?
Sorry boys, It appears as if Scarlett Johansson really is taken. As we noted yesterday, 2006's Sexiest Woman Alive got engaged to equally easy-on-the-eyes boyfriend Ryan Reynolds, and judging from ScarJo's behavior last night at the Costume Institute Gala, the soon-to-be-bride appears incapable of hiding her joy. All smiles as she walked the carpet, Johansson even did the paparazzi a favor by flashing her new rock, and her choice to wear an off-white demure dress helped us paint some mental images of her upcoming walk down the aisle. But how does her ring compare to infamous engagement rings of the past (J. Lo's sad pink diamond monster mid-Bennifer trainwreck) and rings recently sported by newly engaged stars like Mariah Carey and Ashlee Simpson? We compare and contrast after the jump. More » -
defamer
TLC Becomes Only Network Not To Pass On Jennifer Lopez's Next Reality Show
Remember when The Learning Channel was proudly cheesy? Back when they featured all those low-budget Baby Stories and Wedding Stories and any kind of Story that would set housewives' hearts aflutter? Well, it looks like those TLC-loving housewives are in store for something a bit more glamorous. According to the NY Daily News, diamond-drenched new mother of twins Jennifer Lopez is gearing up to invite us into her and vampire-like husband Marc Anthony's home to "deliver a slice of [Lopez's] life that audiences have never seen before, as she takes on her career and launches a new fragrance while trying to juggle her new responsibilities as a first-time mom." While we couldn't be more excited to watch Lopez cook enchiladas that Anthony will eventually purge, we're noticing a trend. Namely, that previously straight-laced networks like TLC and Lifetime have taken notice of Bravo's success and, thus, are beginning to follow their bold footsteps by greenlighting programs that strongly appeal to the gay and lesbian community. More » -
the godfather
J. Lo Made Tom Cruise an Offer He Couldn't Refuse
Once upon a time, a godfather was a man whose chief mission was to guide a child's religious beliefs. But nowadays, it's just a regular guy who's friends with the parents and buys stuff for the kid ... or so J. Lo and Marc Anthony would have us believe. The "Catholic" couple, whose twins Max and Emme were born on February 22, have reportedly asked Tom Cruise to be their babies' godfather. Yeah, you read that right. More » -
defamer
Defamer Rump Day Special: Hollywood's Top Five Butts
When we heard today that Christina Ricci instructed her trainer to give her Jessica Biel's butt for her upcoming role in Speed Racer, we too remembered our longtime fascination with Biel's hard bottom. Even though Justin Timberlake famously praised the back door of Kylie Minogue, we're sure he's doing just fine enjoying his current girlfriend's assets. And considering we've had asses on the brain since Gisele thrust hers into our face this morning, we decided to just declare this Hump Day, well, Rump Day. Herewith, we present our picks for the top five best butts in Hollywood. And not to worry ladies; we'll be sure to devote an upcoming Hump Day to the male stars with the most appealing cushions for pushing. More » -
defamer
Jennifer Lopez Drops The Baby Weight Even Faster Than She Could Spend That 'People' Payday
It's been only five weeks since Jennifer "Don't Call Me J. Lo" Lopez gave birth to twins and, magically, the singing sensation seems to have withered down to her pre-baby weight. Though we have often been mystified by what Jennifer does — particularly by her decision-making process post Wedding Planner in choosing which films to star in — her desire to quickly trim down doesn't surprise us in the slightest. To that end, we compared Lopez's figure from before Marc Anthony worked his magic on her urgent uterus to a photo of her weeks before she popped to her stunning appearance last night at the New York premiere of Shine A Light. More » -
scary
What Has J-Lo Spawned?
Take another look at that $6m spread in People on Jennifer Lopez's newborn twins. It's a picture of parental bliss. The actress displays the requisite ecstasy as she and husband Marc Anthony skip down the front drive, each pushing a stroller. (For $6m, People had a right to a bit of a show.) But turn to page 55, and look closely at Emme Maribel, the couple's daughter. Some dark intelligence is evident behind those eyes. For the close-up:
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defamer
After Much Divatude, Jennifer Lopez Shares Her Baby-Looking Twins With The World
It's tough out there for a celebrity mom with a baby cover exclusive with People. From Nicole Richie's non-groundbreaking Harlow cover to Christina Aguilera's boobalicious Max debut, no glossy cover with a star baby splashed across it will ever compare to that of The Chosen One. Well, unless The Chosen Two follow in their goddess-like older sister's footsteps. And despite the fact that Jennifer Lopez received the heftiest payday on record to introduce twins Max and Emme to the masses, MSNBC reports that Jenny From The Block went into vintage diva mode both prior to the shoot and throughout the painful session: More » -
defamer
Just How Big Will 'The Chosen Two' Make Angelina Jolie, Anyway?
It's been nearly two months since we first heard about The Chosen Two's impending arrival, but judging from the size of Angelina Jolie's widening waistline, we suspect Brad's super sperm went into baby-making action a bit earlier than that. Seen yesterday shopping for books in Austin, Texas, Angelina's belly seems to be expanding at an exponential rate not yet seen in celebrity pregnancies. Which got us thinking, what if we saddled Jolie up next to J. Lo and Julia Roberts just before they burst? That way, we can begin to suss out just what size muumuu to FedEx to Casa Brangelina come spring. More » -
defamer
TomKat Seduces A New Hollywood Couple Into Their Dinner Dates/Scientology Screenings
Another day, another star lost to the more-popular-than-ever VIP club that is the Church of Scientology. But unlike Tom and Katie's previous predatory attacks on Jennifer Lopez and the Beckhams, this one really hurts. On Wednesday night, the Knights of Hubbard went on a double date with Oscar winner Forrest Whitaker and his wife Keisha, right on the heels of last Wednesday's double date with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith (long-term victims of TomKat's proselytizing ways). Savvy observers will recall that this isn't Whitaker's first brush with the wily ways of Scientologists; back in 1999, he spent months on end on the set of Battlefield Earth with John Travolta. So, the question is this — does he have enough willpower left to resist yet another call from Xenu's sworn enemies? More » -
defamer
Celebrity Knees Under Attack By British Press!
There's no two ways about it, Americans love obsessing over celebrity nip slips, vadge flashes and sex tapes (even if it is Gene Simmons...shudder). But the British tabs, being as posh as they are, have taken a more conservative approach to body part fascination: knees. While photos of the bony joints attached to Kate Moss, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez and Courteney Cox may not tighten your trousers, the names they've come up with for each gal's wheely kneelies give the NY Post a run for its money in the hed-writing department. Photos of The Sun's picks for Worst Knees, along with their snappy yet barely decipherable titles ("Eva Longoria's Tunnock's Teacakes Kneecaps"!), after the jump. More » -
celebrity science
The Nine Biggest Oscar Party Hoppers
The cancellation of this year's Vanity Fair party, the social highlight of Oscars night, is a tragedy. Not so much because it deprives gatecrashers of their most significant challenge of the year; but because Graydon Carter's annual party invites represent a definitive list of celebrity. The next best thing: social scientist Elizabeth Currid and her colleague analyzed photographs of guests since last year's gathering, to calculate the most socially connected and socially promiscuous of celebrities. A taster: highly connected Kimora Lee Simmons is a perfect celebrity disease vector, or else simply skilled at working her way into the frame. But one of the flightiest social butterflies, a cute Spanish actress, seemingly devoted to her craft, will surprise you.
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defamer
J-Lo Still Refusing To Confirm Pregnancy As Second Newborn Crowns
Exciting news for actress/singer/fragrance magnate Jennifer Lopez and singer/actor/Caesar-supporter Marc Anthony, for the two are the proud parents of bouncing baby twins—one J and one Lo—born shortly after midnight in a New York-area hospital. Having dropped a rumored $6 million for the privilege, we now acquiesce with a bow and a flourish to People's J-Lo! Twins! Birth! Exclusive!: More » -
defamer
J. Lo Has The Most Valuable Babies In All The Land
Jennifer Lopez has reportedly sold the US rights to exclusive pictures of her twinset to People for a rumored $6 million, beating the record formerly held by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Plus, Lopez will also receive an undisclosed sum from OK! for international rights. But why so much moolah for J. Lo? How can her spawn possibly be worth more than The Chosen One (whose baby pics were purchased by People for $4.1 million)? As Flavor Flav and those guys from the Coors Light commercials would say: TWINS! More » -
short ends
The Sound Of Two Hands Clapping
· Earlier today, Oprah emerged from her Oprahphagus long enough to welcome the world's fastest clapper onto her show. While we haven't scientifically verified this, we're also betting he's the world's fastest masturbator. More » -
short ends
Is It Just Us?
· Or does the new sketch of the man suspected of snatching young Madeline McCann look a lot like Killer Bob? Through the darkness of future past, the magician longs to see, one chants out between two worlds ...fire, walk with me! More » -
jennifer lopez
Little interests us less than the contents of Jennifer "Jen-Pez" Lopez's uterus, but when the items on her super-double-top-secret baby gift registry are shockingly! revealed ("We don't talk about any of our clients," says the publicity-shy owner of celebrity-infant-spoiling concern La Petit Tresor with a conspiratorial wink), we take notice. $350 cashmere outfits! $3,500 carriages! The proposed building of standalone nursery-mansions on the grounds of the star's many sprawling estates, each lavishly decorated by the boutique's design consultants! We can hardly wait for Lopez to pop out her twins directly onto the cover of People, allowing us all a first look at all the fun things Jen's besties bought for the tykes. [Rush & Molloy] -
tom cruise
Jim Carrey And Jennifer Lopez's Suppressive Reps Deflect Rumors Of Scientology Involvement
Today's Page Six puzzles through how floundering megastar Jim Carrey and multimedia-brand-in-decline Jennifer Lopez squeezed onto the guest list for last month's Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Billion Year Commitment Ceremony Spectacular, connecting the dots first through evil agenting monolith CAA, then through a possible interest in discovering how some time in the sauna with a fistful of vitamins can help one's career or family-building ambitions. Says Page Six: More » -
short ends
Short Ends: Aaron Spelling Kicks Ass From The Hereafter
· David Hasselhoff's unbelievable winning streak comes crashing down on him like a crystal chandelier that his head hit while shaving at some gym or something, we're too close to the weekend to really care. More » -
jennifer lopez
Only Thing Jennifer Lopez 'Flashdance' Video Guilty Of Is Being Annoying
In an exciting legal victory that has made the world safe for countlessderivativehomage-paying music videos to come, a U.S. Court of Appeals has upheld the dismissal of a lawsuit brought against Jennifer Lopez and the small army of music industry drones whose job it is to perpetuate her recording career:
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jennifer lopez
Marc Anthony's Declaration of Love To Receive Uncredited Punch-Up
Readers of the paper edition of Variety were treated to an unseasonable Valentine today, in the form a full-page ad taken out by Marc Anthony, declaring his bursting love and pride for his wife and former object of public fascination, Jennifer Lopez. Only her husband would know Lopez intimately enough to compose the tribute to the baffling "Women in Film" award winner in the form of a mock screenplay, as "Lola" (as he affectionately refers to her in the ad) tends to glaze over when subjected to any assemblage of words not presented in dialogue-and-action formation. After Anthony sneakily placed the trade rag near her morning melon, casually asking if she had "happened to see page 46," a curious Lopez quickly discovered the gushy, Final Draft-templated ode. Purely by force of habit, she immediately handed it to her assistant for coverage, which soon came back to her in the form of a far more manageable, four-line summary: "You're a beautiful actress/singer who receives an award. Your husband says he loves you, but in the end, he says something about you 'never waking up.' The Bodyguard meets Sleeping with the Enemy. Pass." -
real estate
Defamer Real Estate: The Former Bennifer Love Nest
In his wanderings, the Defamer Real Estate Correspondent inadvertently came across a property formerly owned by the first Bennifer incarnation (for those of you who suffered blunt head trauma around January of 2004, we're referencing the tabloid-friendly partnership of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez). In filing his report, he transports us back to a more innocent time, a time when two overexposed stars were on top of the world, unencumbered by flagging movie careers, more successful (Affleck) or creepy (Lopez) spouses, and the demands of new parenthood (Affleck only). Says our expert on ostentatious property: More »

































