Many people are excited about the forthcoming unauthorized biography of Beyoncé, written by prolific writer of unauthorized biographies J. Randy Taraborrelli. But others are probably not excited, including Beyoncé, Jay Z and Jonathan Hay, the ex-Rihanna publicist who concocted the story that Rihanna and Jay Z slept together.
People are apparently upset that Beyoncé dumped what’s rumored to be a $20,000 bottle of Armand de Brignac champagne into a hot tub during the filming of her Nicki Minaj collabo, “Feeling Myself.” But it is dumb to be mad at Beyoncé, because that wine didn’t really cost $20,000, and even if it did, it would have been more expensive for her not to pour it out and frolic in the bubbles.
Remember two years ago? I bet you wish you couldn’t. 2013 was the year of many things, but somewhere in there it was the year of the embarrassing Jay-Z career decision to release an album called Magna Carta Holy Grail, when instead he could have enjoyed an eternity of diving into a pile of gold coins like Scrooge McDuck. Remember that record? Something something Basquiat Picasso something something Rothko Christie’s.
Beyoncé and Jay Z are collectively worth something like $1 billion. Maybe. Beyoncé said it herself so it must be true. The point is that they can basically buy anything in the world. Nonetheless, spending $85 million on a single pool is a serious purchase for even the richest elevator fight club. Beyoncé and Jay Z might do such a thing, but here's the real question: would you?
Being a DJ is the new being a lazy drug addict when it comes to jobs for celebrity children; Vine is the way to become a celebrity drug addict when you don't have famous parents; Sleepy Hollow got picked up for season 2 and ughhhhh I can't it's so awful just stop; Exxon is suing FXX over a logo, because those are the pressing matters at hand, not oil spill cleanups.