Gawker
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jack valenti
Jack Valenti Once on FBI's 10 Most Probably Gay List
It's been two years since silver-maned MPAA drum-beater Jack Valenti passed to the great ratings board in the sky, where he's been gleefully defending the afterlife's classification system. (Heaven: PG-13 for strong language, partial angel-nudity.) More » -
politics
Is PBS Harboring the Man Who Led the Jack Valenti Homo Hunt?
J. Edgar Hoover's FBI investigated late movie-lobby chief Jack Valenti for homosexuality, the Washington Post reports. Interesting. But what about evidence ernest PBS liberal Bill Moyers requested similar probes? More »
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By Ryan TateComment by OwenKlient: I don't buy your premise. A 74-year old who can't remember his actions from *45* years ago does not sound... 1 Responses | Other threads
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defamer
At Thursday afternoon's Cinerama Dome celebration of the memory of late MPAA icon Jack Valenti, Steven Bochco offered these words of tribute: "He was the human equivalent of the iPhone. He was a small, sleek package with irresistible features." It's probably best that Valenti himself didn't live to see the iPhone era himself, as he likely would have seen the device as "the Son of Sam of intellectual property theft waiting to blast away the young lovers of copyright as they make out in the front of a parent's Oldsmobile, an infernal machine that infuriatingly allows the brazen pirate to call up his friends and brag about how easy it is to steal food from the mouths of hard-working Hollywood professionals." [LAT]
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By MarkComment by Little Mintz Sunshine: Aw. So sweet. Reminds me of my grandpa's memorial service when his former accountant compared him to the Beta format.... more » | Other threads
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propaganda
Dan Glickman: We Are Living In A Golden Age Of Hollywood Crap
To celebrate a summer movie season that has delivered an unprecedented, soul-crushing string of record-breaking pirate-, ogre-, and superhero-related sequels, MPAA spirit squad captain Dan Glickman has grabbed his pom-poms and megaphone and headed for the Huffington Post to lead the world in a call-and-response "Holly!"..."WOOD!" cheer, careful not to tear anything amid his flurry of ecstatic scissor-kicks. Glickman reminds us that the while the MySpaces and the YouTubes may have their place in modern life, nothing beats a wholesome trip to the multiplex to watch horny college girls get eviscerated by sadistic hostel-keepers for old-fashioned community-building: More » -
defamer
Hollywood PallbearerWatch: Spielberg, Arnold Draw Honorary Duty At Valenti Funeral
· 3,000 attend the Spider-Man 3 Tribeca Film Festival premiere in Astoria, Queens, uncharitably described as "roughly the east coast equivalent of Van Nuys." We hope nobody from Var is planning any trips to that borough in the near future, as we fear for their safety after that slight. [Variety] More » -
trade roundup
A Trade Paper Salute To Jack Valenti
· Variety remembers recently deceased MPAA legend Jack Valenti, calling him "colorful," "charismatic," a "prime mover behind the movie ratings system," and the "industry's most ardent cheerleader." Also: "The silver-haired Valenti was a natty dresser and courtly gentleman who enjoyed using five-dollar words and arcane historical and literary allusions as he spoke out on numerous issues, all of which seemed to get him into a high lather." [Variety] More » -
obits
Heaven's Movie Pirates About To Meet Their Worst Nightmare
It is with a heavy heart that we note the passing of former MPAA lobbyist Jack Valenti, an enemy of the movie-pirate menace so terrifying that a future generation of unauthorized downloaders will trade apocryphal stories about the copyright-defending bogeyman in hushed tones while watching illegal copies of Spider-Man 16, visibly trembling as they hear once again how a DVD-ripping friend of a friend's grandfather once awoke to find Valenti's hook embedded in the side of her computer and the message STOP RAPING HOLLYWOOD scrawled in blood on the bedroom wall. The LAT has a detailed obituary for those interested in the hyperbole-prone pirate-hunter and ratings system pioneer's legacy; after the jump, a tribute round-up of our long-ago posts about Valenti's fascinating thoughts on subjects like elves, the hostess-humping absurdity of the Hays Code era, and the un-fucking-believable magic boxes that assist outlaws in stealing food from the mouths of honest stuntmen: More » -
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defamer
Trade Round-Up: Williams, Travolta To Form Latest Unholy Buddy Comedy Union
· No, sillies! His name is Gay! LOL! CMT would never hire a real Gay! [Variety] More » -
trade roundup
Trade Round-Up: Pacino Gets High-Paid 'Ocean's Thirteen' Vacation
· Warner Bros. determines that the cast of Ocean's Thirteen really needs a big-name actor to chew the scenery being ignored by the other big-name actors phoning in their performances, adds Al Pacino to the project. [Variety] More »
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By MarkComment by Gallant Patsy: ya know what they should do..... get al pacino to play al pacino in the movie. or someone who looks... more » | Other threads
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defamer
Trade Round-Up: Andy Samberg May Jump Shark On Scooter
· Crown/Harmony Books buys former MPAA head Jack Valenti's memoir, which the superannuated lobbyist promises is not a "get-even book." However, he promises that Jack Valenti: My Life Dueling The Rapethirsty Pirates Bent On Repeatedly Violating The Entertainment Industry's Virginal Maids With Their Digital Instruments Of Unparalleled Evil will contain "a lot of interesting stories about some famous people." [Variety] More » -
jack valenti
Jack Valenti, Champion Of The Ratings System
First ballot Hall of Defamer crackpot and former MPAA head Jack Valenti defends the movie ratings system in the opinion pages of today's LAT, arguing that the current G-through-NC-17 guidelines are far superior to the clenched-sphincter, Puritan absurdities of the infamous Hays Code: More »
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