Gawker
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trailer park
Sherlock Holmes Will Kick Your Ass, Britishly
Ooh, look. The trailer for Guy Ritchie's new Sherlock Holmes movie is out. And the film's star Robert Downey Jr. seems to be no wimpering Basil Rathbone. No, this here is an action picture. More »
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Comment by Queen of the Passive Aggressives: Two words: Jeremy Brett 6 Responses | Other threads
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gossip roundip
New Mom M.I.A. Sought By Oscars Producers
Which is less appropriate: A brand-newmom performing at the Oscars, from bed, or an image-conscious Olympian trying to lay low in a strip club? Decide for yourself. More »
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By Ryan TateComment by Private Hangnail: There are certain celebrities that I, for some odd reason, worry about. Margot Kidder is one of them, I think... 6 Responses | Other threads
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gossip roundup
New Career for Dina Lohan: Hobo
She's done reality TV and (horrifyingly) interviewed her own daughter on the red carpet, and now Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay and presumably other children, has an exciting new job opportunity: creepy Long Island transient. More »
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Comment by Weegee's bored: How is that that our brilliant and sensitive Facebook commenters didn't jump on the line "I haven't been in arears... 6 Responses | Other threads
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divorce
Madonna is a Liar, Claims Madonna
Typically, when one is tasking one's publicist with the announcement of just about the biggest divorce payout ever made to an ex-husband, one wouldn't claim two days later, "Ooops, clicked 'send' too early!"
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Comment by everfade: I see Madonna skinned Oscar the Grouch for that ensemble. 2 Responses | Other threads
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payouts
Madonna to Give Guy Ritchie Massive Divorce Settlement, Headache
Finally, Guy Ritchie is going to get financial compensation for marrying/sexing/ignoring the pile of macrobiotic sinews that America affectionately calls "Madonna." And, according to the Material Girl's rep, the divorce settlement is major:
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Comment by TurdBlossom: The big question is whether she'll keep her fake british accent. 1 Responses | Other threads
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sherlock holmes
Robert Downey Jr. IS 'Shirtless Holmes'!
Most Sherlock Holmes costumes distinguish themselves through accessories like a pipe and deerstalker hat, but we'd wager that Robert Downey Jr.'s stripped-down take on the character will be far more popular in WeHo this Halloween.
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Comment by gaycurmudgeon: Can we look forward to a Pantsless Watson? 1 Responses | Other threads
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madonna
List-Addicted Madonna Slaps Guy Ritchie With 12-Rule Custody Rider
Guy Ritchie was reunited today with his two sons (yes, even that turncoat Rocco) after weeks apart, but his estranged ex Madonna made sure that the happy meeting came attached to a brand-new set of strict stipulations. Though Autotuned utterances of "Contract, Guy, Contract" didn't seem to help her marriage any, the sinewy pop star hasn't demurred from the format, instead drawing up a list of 12 simple rules for seeing her pre-teen sons. The Daily Mail's got each one: More »
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Comment by CaveatLector: I hope Guy lets them drink tap water, eat at McDonald's and wear cheap market stall clothes. 3 Responses | Other threads
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madonna
Can The Madonna/Gwyneth Friendship Survive?
Yesterday the British tabs claimed that Madonna is "begging" best friend Gwyneth Paltrow to jettison Chris Martin and the Anglophile stick up her bum for the welcoming shores of Manhattan. You see, Madonna and Gwynnie became friends in the early aughts in London, when Madonna was just adopting that faux British accent. And now, Madge is clearly on the brink of yet another reinvention: she's ditched her Brit hubby and her estate in the English Countryside and is swapping it for her old gritty New York home and, well, Alex Rodriguez. Will Madonna and Gwyneth remain close when Madge stops wearing tweed and goes back to her cone bra? We examine the evidence, after the jump. [Jezebel]
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By JessicaComment by aubonpam: Are hospitals in England really that bad? I'm curious now. 13 Responses | Other threads
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roasted nuts
Robert Downey Jr.'s 'Naughty Areas' Saved By Quick-Thinking Jude Law
Tragedy was narrowly averted on the set of Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes, a colorful report circulating the UK gossip press claims, when Robert Downey Jr. very nearly set his penis ablaze in a pipe-smoking incident gone terribly wrong: More »
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By SethComment by scottjohnson: It has been a bad week for Downey related fires. Apparently, Downey Studios in Downey, CA caught fire yesterday: [tvdecoder.blogs.nytimes.com] Appropriately... more » | Other threads
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madonna
What's the Deeeal With Seinfeld and the Secret Madonna/A-Rod Rendezvous?
Now that Madonna has entered the "ex texting" part of her breakup with Guy Ritchie ("OMG Debi Mazar Hates U 2"), it's time for Hollywood's looky-loos to saddle up and choose a side. On Team Madonna, we have Yankee T-friendly Rocco, a concerned Gwyneth Paltrow, and Alex Rodriguez, whereas Team Guy consists of little but his Sherlock Holmes cast, a discarded British accent used by Madonna over the last decade, and maybe Sarah Palin? Someone should ask her! Now, Page Six breaks the news of two new celebs warming the bench for Madonna: Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld, who are loaning out their house so Madonna and A-Rod can get it on. More »
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Comment by everfade: I'm just about as sick of Madonna as I am of Lindsay Lohan. Why would anyone want to bone that... 1 Responses | Other threads
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Comment by majikthise: this headline made me LOL and almost spit out my peas at lunch! more » | Other threads
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madonna
Did Madonna's Marriage-Contract Fridge-Art Push Guy Ritchie To The Brink?
We thought every marriage had a graphically worded pact to spell out its sexual and emotional tenets, but apparently our families are in the minority with Madonna and Guy Ritchie. The authorities at The Sun today make quite a bit of the busted-up duo's "marriage contract," a list reportedly pinned around their residences lest Guy ever forget his responsibilities in the relationship — and putting down the toilet seat was the least of them. More »
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By STVComment by BrawlerBarbie: I'm having a hard time choosing sides in this. Divorce sucks all around, and I am not convinced this decision... 3 Responses | Other threads
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Comment by Leviticus_71: Never have I seen a finer Gay porn mustache than the furry friend Jude is cultivating on his upper lip. 1 Responses | Other threads
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midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Aniston Pops The Question, Madonna's "Affair" With A-Rod Was "Orchestrated"
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, our weekly roundup of the glossy tabloids. Although Madonna and Guy "win" two covers this week, thanks to a nasty divorce, Jennifer Aniston also lands two covers, for her lingerie-fueled marriage proposal to John Mayer, and for getting plastic surgery. The last of the five covers features Angelina, with the by-now-greatly-recycled quote about Mr. & Mrs. Smith being a movie her kids can to watch to see their parents fall in love. Intern Margaret assists as we quench our thirst for celebrity "news" by drinking from the spigots of Star, Us, OK!, In Touch and Life & Style, after the jump. [Jezebel]
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By DodaiComment by morninggloria: I nominate "spiritual" for the most meaningless word in the English language. 13 Responses | Other threads
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splits
Messy Divorces: 'Old, Wrinkled' Madonna vs. 'Sneaky Coward' Guy Ritchie
The ink is barely dry on those first giddy divorce filings, and already the vultures are circling world's biggest pop star Madonna and her cuckolded soon-to-be ex-husband, "film director" Guy Ritchie. While the two stars themselves have remained relatively demure about the whole matter—Madge makes the same "emotionally retarded" joke at every concert, Guy reportedly said on the set of his new film Sherlock Holmes, "today's going to be a weird one, but don't feel awkward because this is where I want to be" while waving a copy of a British tabloid—the press has been a little more salacious. The latest Us Weekly features a gushy, long-for-that-publication article on the storied split, providing hideous and sad details like how Ritchie used to refer to sex with his Isla Bonita as "cuddling up with a piece of gristle." That's just... well, that's poetry Mr. Ritchie. How messy is this thing going to get?
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Comment by ElvisWorley: Jeter? I thought it was Alex! Based on Jeter's past conquests, I cannot imagine him going for, what Ritchie so accurately... 16 Responses | Other threads
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madonna
Welcome To The New Cold War: Your Ciccone/Ritchie Divorce Round-Up
Another day, another approximately 12,000 steaming new dishes laid out in the ongoing Madonna/Guy Ritchie divörgåsbord, a sumptuous schadenfreude buffet. We highlight a few, for your gustatory enjoyment: More »
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By SethComment by Old No.7: The horseback riding instructor was for Guy; if you know what I mean, and I think you do. 3 Responses | Other threads
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madonna
Newly Emancipated Guy Ritchie Free To Admit Kabbalah Is A Load Of Horseshite
Ah, what a difference a divorce makes. To see Guy Ritchie's jubilant face on the occasion of his 40th birthday on September 10—just weeks after Madonna had embarked on her Men Are All Sickening, Selfish Pigs Tour—is to look into the toothy grin of freedom itself. Sure, he got perhaps one more African orphan out of the bargain than he had hoped for, but there was really no point in looking backwards now, was there? He was 40 (still relatively young), his career was right back on track, and he would never again be faced with daily surveys of the, "So which do you think—the embroidered python jodhpurs or the deconstructed parachute pants?"-variety. More »
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By SethComment by taraniso: A schlocky director, and a cocky ass to boot. He doesn't even know how lucky he is to have hooked-up... 3 Responses | Other threads
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madonna
Madonna/Guy Ritchie Wreckage Offers Many Clues, No Answers in Couple's Crash
The radioactivity of Madonna and Guy Ritchie's combustion has settled nicely around our culture since Wednesday, yielding glowing little piles of second-guesses, third-guesses and other detritus helping us make sense of the biggest matrimonial disaster of the year. Here to help you with your wasteland exploration, Defamer's Biohazard Squad suited up this morning to map the terrain; their findings are after the jump. More »
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By STVComment by Little Mintz Sunshine: National Treasure? More like National Velvet. more » | Other threads
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madonna
It's Official: The AP is reporting that the Madonna's publicist has confirmed the singer's rumored split from Guy Ritchie: "A statement e-mailed to The Associated Press from Madonna spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg says the couple has agreed to divorce, and asks the media to respect their privacy." Especially this week in Boston, where excellent seats are still available for tomorrow's Madonna concert at the TD Banknorth Garden. Seriously, people — back off! [CNN] -
madonna
The Madonna/Guy Ritchie Divorce: A User's Guide
So the Sun, England's most tasteful, reputable daily tabloid, sent word around late Tuesday that Madonna and Guy Ritchie will officially divorce by the end of the year. ("They can't bear the pretence!") We unpacked our grain of salt while sorting through the months of rumors preceding this one, but with everyone from the AP to Time hitching on and the singer's exasperated rep admitting, "We're not going to know anything until the US wakes up," all public signs indicate this is finally it. After the jump, a quick recap of how we got here, and what's likely next. More »
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By STVComment by Seanibus: God, I hope Guy gets custody of the British accent so Madonna will have to go back to sounding like... 4 Responses | Other threads
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sherlock holmes
Your First Glimpse At Robert Downey Jr.'s Little Tramp Detective, Sherlock Holmes!
Here we have your first look at Robert Downey Jr. in Guy Ritchie's SherlocknRolla take on Sir Conan Doyle's classic creation. The director has apparently abandoned Holmes's iconic deerstalker cap, cloak, and pipe in favor of a bowler hat, stripey vest, and gigantic Starbucks beverage. ("No foam skim latte, my dear Watson!") More » -
leonardo dicaprio
'Express,' 'Quarantine' Climb Into Multiplex Over Leo's Dead 'Body'
Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your regular guide to everything new, noteworthy and potentially hideous this week at the movies. Today we see another fistful of titles tossed on the fall-release glut, none of which may have the stamina to outlast Disney's purse dog in a three-day race at the box office. We also have our refined eye on the weekend's most disappointing opening as well as our official art-house underdog, plus a few cherry-picked new DVD titles for the shut-ins among you. You know how this works by now: Our opinions are our own, but with free, near-gemological precision like this, why go anywhere else? More »
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By STVComment by Sleepyhead: I think you overestimate the appeal of a no-star, low-publicity football biopic. I call under $12m for The Express. However,... 4 Responses | Other threads
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madonna
Madonna Has Put A-Rod Back In Her Batter's Box
Perhaps mindful that her McCain/Hitler concert montage went over about as well as a soiled dominatrix outfit, pop superstar Madonna has returned to the well that attracted her the most attention this year: her are-they-or-aren't-they flirtation with New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. Though Madonna's camp had quelled the rumors before by having her step out with husband Guy Ritchie, the director is now overseas shooting Sherlock Holmes, and Us Weekly says that Madonna seized the opportunity to meet up with Rodriguez once more: More » -
michael cera
Today in Toronto Hell: Anne Hathaway's Shoes, Michael Cera's Backpack, Guy Ritchie's Vision
The Toronto Film Festival is right about at its midway point — an essential milestone from which to take stock of noteworthy developments and drama that we couldn't help but watch smolder from Defamer HQ. And while some of our principal plotlines either have yet to unwind (Paris and her doc show up tomorrow) or were resolved to our satisfaction (The Wrestler wins the fest's distribution sweepstakes), there remains a bundle of loose ends requiring maintenance and attention from a distance. That's Canada for you! More »
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By STVComment by raincoaster: Her feet must be more like flippers. Horizontal straps make your feet look SHORTER. How long are those things? 1 Responses | Other threads
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RocknRolla
Joel Silver, 'Rocknrolla' Among the Inventory on Display at Warner Bros. Fire Sale
Add another "maybe" to our speculation about Joel Silver's future at Warner Bros.: Reports today indicate that the slumping superproducer is shopping around Guy Ritchie's Rocknrolla, a Dark Castle project scheduled for release by WB in October. Maybe. Now Lionsgate and Sony are supposedly in talks to pick up the action/crime thriller lest Warners overextend itself this fall with titles inherited from New Line (Pride and Glory), Picturehouse (The Women) and Warner Independent (Slumdog Millionaire, Towelhead). More »
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By STVComment by The-Flashing-Scribe: "I don't think it's broadly commercial." Hmm. In the same way that a Joel Silver/Shane Black buddy movie (lemme see...off... more » | Other threads
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madonna
Madonna Takes Needle To Gerard Butler's 'Little Bottom', Only Succeeds In Making Him 'Severely Ill'
Madonna broke into the public consciousness not because of her vocal talents, but because of her catchy tunes, dance fever, and suggestively nymphomaniac tendencies. But now, the nearly-50-year old has finally morphed into the modern day Britney Spears: she's forcing unwilling male stars to pull down their pants, she's making headlines mainly due to a messy divorce, rumored affairs and plastic surgery rumors. Just as the British tabs begin to accuse the failed director/actress of going under a very sharp knife, it seems as though the exercise addict has used her seduction technique of shooting B-12 shots into hunky acquaintances’ butts. But this time around, unlike the soaring success story that was Justin Timberlake’s energizing vitamin-equipped ass, her second attempt on quasi-ex-husband Guy Ritchie’s newest leading man, Gerard Butler, left the poor man’s Clive Owen “severely ill.” Butler’s tale of Madge’s terrorist attack on his “little bum,” plus the allegations being made about how the extremes the Yankee doodler’s “grueling” beauty regime have affected her oddly sharp cheekbones and “popping veins,” after the jump. More »
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Comment by pissedoffprogressive: I'd like to shoot something into Gerard Butler's "little bum" (drum roll, high hat)!!! I can't believe I was the first... more » | Other threads
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robert downey jr
Robert Downey Jr. Vs. Sacha Baron Cohen: A Tale Of Two Holmes
With today's Variety report that Robert Downey Jr. will star in a mildly distracted Guy Ritchie's upcoming Sherlock Holmes for Warner Bros.—by all accounts, a much more reverential take on the mythical detective than the Columbia comedy announced just last week starring Sacha Baron Cohen—we thought we'd celebrate this latest Elementary! edition of our ongoing The End of Ideas series by comparing and contrasting the two competing projects: More » -
madonna
Christopher Ciccone's Tell-All Only Serves To Reestablish Madonna's Sorely Missed Bad Girl Rep
Madonna's epic reputation as a racy, sexual icon who lives life with "no regrets" has encountered a few speed bumps in recent years. The transition from Material Girl to Earth Mother circa Ray Of Life in 1998 marked the most significant rupture to her free-wheeling Erotica-encapsulated days of drugs, sex, and whispered rock 'n roll, an "epiphany" she credited to Kabbalah. But after the ethereal schtick grew tired, the older but not necessarily wiser Madge launched a campaign to reclaim her ItGirlWoman cred by slipping Christina and Britney some tongue, spreading her legs for Hard Candy, and using that handy Husband Emasculation method perfected by Katherine Heigl to resurrect her old identity as a shockworthy icon of sorts. And after hearing just what kind of "sordid" revelations await us in her estranged brother's tell-all memoir Life With My Sister Madonna, we don't think Madge's reps should even bother issuing a denial about Christopher Ciccone's book. Anecdotes about same-sex makeout sessions, drug parties with studio execs, and straight-edge Guy Ritchie's alleged "homophobic" tendencies, all of which actually add up to a convincing pro-Madonna campaign... More »
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Comment by SankulDenby: I read Christopher's book and found it to be an entertaining read, definitely worth it.? I think he did a... more » | Other threads
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madonna
Today in A-Rod / Madge / Kravitzgate: Divorce, Exploitation and Parisian Landlords
For the first time in our country's history, the epicenter of America's commemorative period of fireworks and independence appears to have shifted to Miami. There, we've learned, the intercoital clusterfuck of Madonna, Alex Rodriguez, Lenny Kravitz and Guy Ritchie has reached its nadir with a Rodriguez divorce now officially on the way — freeing the Yankees slugger to (allegedly) pursue whatever pop paramour his heart desires. Except Madonna and Ritchie are still in matrimonial business — literally — and apparently will be for a while. More » -
defamer
The Lost Boy
· Corey Haim spent an entire segment of The Two Coreys surfing the Defamer comment section and walked away emotionally damaged. But darker days are looming ahead. More »
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By Mark GrahamComment by jaclyn29: I can't help it, but I keep obsessing about Corey Haim! I keep watching the show, I keep watching his... more » | Other threads
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madonna
The Defamer Guide To The Whole Madonna / A-Rod / Lenny Kravitz Situation
If you've looked at the Internet at all this past week, you've probably gleaned that there's something going on with Madonna, Guy Ritchie, A-Rod and, most recently, Lenny Kravitz. A lot has happened in a very short time and, quite possibly, many of you haven't been able to keep up. But don't feel ashamed, that's what we're here for! Just read our handy dandy guide to the action after the jump and you'll have plenty to talk about at your 4th of July BBQ. More »
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By nickmComment by SteamyMcFirecrotch: @yoko: You missed my point, but I missed what you were actually responding to as Losin_It had two posts. (Your... more » | Other threads
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midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Madonna & Guy Split; Not-Pregnant Stars Without Makeup Have Hot Lesbian Sex
Welcome back to Midweek Madness! The covers sucked this week: Madonna and Guy graced one; supposed baby-luster Jen Aniston got another; stars without makeup landed another; probably-not-knocked-up chicks won the fourth and the Hogan family, yes, the Hogan family got their own. Luckily, the juicy details inside the mags mostly made up for the lame cover stories. Intern Margaret assists as we gobble up the tidbits of "news" in Us, OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel] -
madonna
Flack's Denial Pretty Much Confirms Madonna And A-Rod Are Doing It
But what of little David Banda? For whatever reasons, that was our first reaction to rumors that the marriage of conical-bra-popularizer Madonna to lad-flick director Guy Ritchie was all but over. Well, when we actually stop to think about it, we can figure out the reasons: Lourdes and Rocco are half Ciccone—meaning their DNA is hardwired to withstand just about anything life could throw at them. What's more, were there a divorce, the two elder siblings could access their respective biological dads at virtually any moment with little more than an international mobile calling plan. But not little David: His known world would be splintered apart, one parent flouncing off to the country of hot dogs and baseball, the other staying put in bangers-and-cricket land. His real dad, meanwhile, was a world away, catching glimpses of the domestic unrest in his local Malawian celebrity tabloid, and second-guessing all the while his decision to sell his son to the global pop icon for a year's salary and a signed copy of "The Immaculate Collection." We prayed—oh, how we prayed!—that somehow these two would make it work. Clearly, God hates us: More » -
madonna
Madonna's Next Single Likely To Be 'D-I-V-O-R-C-E'
Just a few days ago, we outlined our top three reasons as to why Madonna and her (current) husband Guy Ritchie will never be having "incredible sex" again. Well, it seems that we can now add a fourth reason to that list — Madonna has reportedly enlisted the counsel of top notch Britishlawyersolicitor Fiona Shackleton. Before you dismiss "Steel Magnolia" (no really, that's her nickname) as being nothing more than the English version of Arnie Becker, it's worth noting that she is the tiny, dental-hygiene-challenged island's highest profile divorce litigator, having negotiated both Prince Charles' and Paul McCartney's divorce (the latter of whom left his case $50 million poorer). However, lest you think that Madge is driving this lorry all by her lonesome, it's worth noting that Guy Ritchie seems to be just as fed up with Madonna as she is with him. Quoth The Daily Mail: More »
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By Mark GrahamComment by Tiger_Tanaka: Hmm...casting the TV movie in my head...Portia De Rossi, Stephen Dorrf, and Joan Cusack. more » | Other threads
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madonna
Three Reasons Why Madonna Will Never Have 'Incredible Sex' With Guy Ritchie Again
The seven-year itch has reportedly struck the unusually long and strong union between Madonna and Guy Ritchie, but news of the split isn’t exactly sending anyone into shock. It was only three years ago when Madonna practically divorced her frostylocks husband on television, telling the world in an MTV documentary that she “wanted to end everything,” and that Guy hadn’t lived up to whatever S&M-loving, hotel room-wrecking ideal she’d “imagined him to be.” But we’re not so sure the soft-spoken director of speedy-spoken indie flicks was necessarily the problem child in this couplet. Considering Madonna’s behavior over the past year or so, scented ever so slightly with desperation and Justin Timberlake’s ass cheeks, we came up with three of the most likely reasons we think the love story went sour: More »
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Comment by gwendemarco: Guy, there's a bloke on the line named Ben Silversomething. He has Carlos Leon on the call as well. They... more » | Other threads
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madonna
Madonna and Guy Ritchie popped up in quite the most unexpected of places today—touring the slums of Mumbai, where she was "showered with rose and marigold petals," and dangled bottles of antibiotics in front of the locals' faces which she happily turned over just as soon as they signed a document ostensibly converting them for the rest of eternity to Kaballah. [AP]
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By SethComment by scroll_lock: Pick up a curry-flavored spare heir for little David to compete with, and the Angelina transwhormation is nearly complete. more » | Other threads
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defamer
The NY Times Gets Madonna's Husband Out Of the House For A While
Briefly enticing the occasional director of hyperkinetic gangster flicks away from the time-consuming responsibility of making sure that his wife's orphan acquisitions aren't repossessed by any disillusioned biological family members while she's out shopping with the promise of some cocktails at the Sunset Marquis bar, the Sunday NY Times spent a fascinating "Night Out With" Madonna househusband Guy Ritchie, an encounter which began with Ritchie demonstrating his martial arts skills to an impressed reporter: More » -
defamer
'Gimme More (Random Lookalike Actress Remix)'
· Remember that unknown actress who bore enough of a resemblance to Lindsay Lohan to take off her clothes in a parody video a few months back? She's obviously found her niche as a seminude trainwreck-alike, because now she's returned with in a remake of Britney Spears' lazy-stripper video for "Gimme More." More » -
defamer
Nothing says, "You can be easily replaced if you keep rolling your eyes like that when I talk about my next orphan purchase" to your already-emasculated husband than giving him a Purple Penetrator on his 39th birthday. [Daily.co.uk] -
defamer
Remembering The Start Of The "Be A Man" Feud
· Just in case you missed yesterday afternoon's reports of the Steve McPherson/Ben Silverman "be a man" feud at the TCAs, here's Var's take on the "clueless or stupid" row. [Variety] More »
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