Don't Tremble The Earth Beneath Judge Judy's Legs And Tell Her It's Raining

· Did we say we were done with earthquake stories? We lied. Shake it, Judge Judy! (And Judge Penny, whoever you are.) [Access Hollywood] More »

As Earthquake Hits, Amateur Comedian James Woods Cracks, "Tumbler? I Barely Know Her!"

And now, we promise: our very last earthquake anecdote, courtesy of reliable Hollywood lech James Woods. The former Shark star was climbing into his red SUV outside Joan's on Third when the fearsome 5.4 earth-shaker began. Then, says Page Six: More »

Earthquake Stories: Shake It Up With The Cosmos Gal!

Your All-Earthquake Special Edition: More »

Shaken Southlanders Describe Their Experiences For An Earthquake-Curious America

Well, hopefully by now you've mixed yourself a nice cocktail to settle the post-earthquake jitters, didn't climb behind the wheel of an F-150, and are not currently in need of hand surgery. With everything seemingly still standing—even that wobbly nightstand that holds our framed, signed Eugene Levy headshot—we thought we'd celebrate with QUAKE '08: The Survivors' Stories, courtesy of your de facto natural-disaster-coverage destination, CNN. We particularly love the guy in the record store, contemplating his own narrowly avoided foot-mangling beneath a toppled rack of Gypsy King CDs. We also have video of KCAL's breaking news report after the jump, which confirms what we knew all along: This earthquake lasted a really long time! More »

Earthquake!

We interrupt your daily nonsense feed to report an earthquake, estimated magnitude 5.8 and centered 29 miles east-southeast of downtown L.A., just scared the shit out of you for what felt like an eternity. LATimes.com was down for a bit but was back up. Land line and cellphones are down. Developing...

• Strong Earthquake Rattles Los Angeles [KCAL]

Run for your lives! Quake! Wait, it's already over? Damn. Oh well, there should be another one rolling through any time now. Go make sure your boss crawls out from under his desk safely while you wait. [quakes.us.gov]