The assumption when any television show hit ends its run is that the stars will go on to fame and fortune and other projects. Sometimes that happens and we never hear from them again (see Friends and inexplicably Full House) but when it doesn't, they all rush back to familiar territory to jump start their careers. Here's are scale from the worst to best.

Dynasty
Final Episode: May 1989
Breakout Stars: Heather Locklear, Emma Samms (just kidding)
Reunion: Dynasty: The Reunion aired in August 1991. The came back for another go-round Dynasty Reunion: Catfights and Caviar in 2006.
Cause: There were some cliffhanger plotlines to tie up, and really, nobody was doing anything else. Also, shoulder pads were about to go out of style, so they had to do it to save on the wardrobe budget.
Held Out: 2 years
Respectability: So bad it's campy.

Firefly
Final Episode: August 2003
Breakout Stars: Does anyone beside us and hardcore Joss Whedon fans even remember this?
Reunion: Serenity hit movie theaters in September, 2005
Cause: To try to get someone, anyone, to finally watch this thing. It failed.
Held Out: 2 years
Respectability: Did it have any to start with?

Sex and the City
Final Episode: February 2004
Breakout Stars: Sarah Jessica Parker, who was the biggest show when the series started. Everyone else found out there really aren't any roles for women over 30.
Reunion: Sex and the City: The Movie came out in May 2008 and broke box office records. A sequel is planned
Cause: These ladies needed a way to make some money. And, obviously, cosmo-swilling Midwestern "fashionistas" demanded it.
Held Out: 4 years.
Respectability: Shameless.

The X-Files
Final Episode: May 2002
Breakout Stars: David Duchovny, who was only a recurring character on the show's final two seasons, is doing quite well on Californication.
Reunion: X-Files: I Want to Believe, the second movie based on the show, failed at the box office in July of 2008.
Cause: We still haven't figured this one out.
Held Out: 6 years.
Respectability: Pretty lame.

Seinfeld
Final Episode: May 1998
Breakout Stars: All of them, but the biggest has been Larry David, now of Curb Your Enthusiasm who wasn't even an actor on the show. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss is still holding down The Adventures of Old Christine. Jerry Seinfeld sits in his house and counts his money, only leaving occasionally to do stand-up, American Express commercials, and The Bee Movie. Jason Alexander had a few failed sitcoms and KFC commercials. Michael Richards had a racist rant that ruined his career.
Reunion: On the cover of Entertainment Weekly August 2009.
Cause: They'll all guest on Curb Your Enthusiasm this year, where a Seinfeld reunion becomes a meta plot point. For a giggle. They're all still rolling in residuals.
Held Out: 11 years.
Respectability: High.

Facts of Life
Final Episode: May 1988
Breakout Stars: Nancy McKeon was a Lifetime fixture before going to rock the tween set on the Disney Channel's Sonny with a Chance. George Clooney did two seasons.
Reunion: The Facts of Life Reunion aired on ABC in November 2001
Cause: Because the gays thought it would be fun and Mrs. Garrett wasn't getting any younger.
Held Out: 13 years.
Respectability: Surprising good. This also seems to be the exception that proves the rule, either that or all the girls have given up on acting careers.

Saved by the Bell
Final Episode: May 1993 (we're not counting The College Years, which ended in 1994)
Breakout Stars: Mark-Paul Gosselaar did the later seasons of NYPD Blue and is now a hit on cable's Raising the Bar. Tiffani Amber Thiessen did 90210, Two Guys, A Girl, and A Pizza Place, Fastlane, and Good Morning, Miami. Elizabeth Berkley did Showgirls and became a Hollywood punchline, Mario Lopez danced with stars, and Dustin Diamond released a sex tape.
Reunion: The cover of People in August 2009.
Cause: Because it was either that or Jimmy Kimmel.
Held Out:16 years.
Respectability: Amazing!

WHAT'S NEW: The primary competition for The Dark Knight's second weekend will be... itself. You have to feel for Sony and Fox for dropping Step Brothers and X-Files: I Want to Believe opposite History's Greatest Film, but that's just the kind of extraordinary season it's been. Those films will perform decently enough, though — roughly $30 million for the Judd Apatow-produced Ferrell/Reilly comedy, $21 million for the sci-fi franchise adaptation — which is another bummer for Fox, which has only its overachieving The Happening to show for a long, lean summer at the box office.

Also opening this weekend are the concert/protest film CSNY: Deja Vu; the oversexed '60s groupie chronicle Eight Miles High; Nanette Burstein's controversial pseudo-doc American Teen; the small-town gardener doc (seriously) A Man Called Pearl; and Minnie Driver's middling psychological drama Take.

THE BIG LOSER: Not so much a "loser" as a handicapping interest of ours, Christian Bale's reported mum-thumping exploits — however blown out of proportion the actually are — could drop The Dark Knight a few percentage points more than it otherwise would have. But even if plunges by 50% (which it won't), it'll still nab $80 million, so again, save your pity for Fox.

THE UNDERDOG: When news hit in 2006 that director Julian Jarrold (Kinky Boots, Becoming Jane) was taking on an adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's novel Brideshead Revisited, skeptics seemed less anxious about a perversion of the author's elegant, class-crash tragedy than how the film would stand up to the epochal 1981 miniseries adaptation. We don't have time or space to even touch that, but it hardly seems to matter: Jarrold's Brideshead bites deep into the love triangle between middle-class Charles Ryder and the Catholic-burdened Flyte siblings Julia and Sebastian, aided by a cast of young British talent led by Hayley Atwell, Ben Whishaw and the extraordinary Matthew Goode (The Lookout, Match Point). Emma Thompson drops in as well for a stirring matron act, but it's Jarrold's scope and Goode's tone harmonizing so dynamically here that you almost can't imagine this story ever required nine hours to tell.

FOR SHUT-INS: Among this week's new DVD's are the Gen-Y card-counting drama 21; the nifty Famke Janssen pool-shark indie Turn the River; the taut enviro-horror sleeper The Last Winter; and, at last, complete series collection of Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg's Spaced.

So is this your week to catch up on The Dark Knight? Or do you, as Fox so desperately hopes, want to believe? Can Step Brothers actually have more gags than those in its trailer? Go ahead — call your shots now before the August doldrums come to claim us all.

We guess we'll wait and see, but meanwhile, we've scanned the program for a few daily recommendations you might consider through the end of the festival — from no-budget micro-horror to a primate-centric Charlton Heston tribute to a Reitman family gab session. See them all (and add your own tips) after the jump. And give us a ride, would you? We're quiet, clean and can probably fit in your trunk.

Tonight: Start the fest in style by crashing the premiere and after-party of Wanted; assuming she shows up, it's likely the only way Entertainment Tonight can be sure Angelina Jolie has not yet made twins.

Friday, June 20: Not to be confused with Alan Ball's execrable eye-terror Towelhead, the Duplass Brothers' Baghead is a nifty comedy/horror hybrid about four struggling actors who hit a cabin in the woods to hash out a screenplay for themselves. Creative tension gives way to sexual tension, which in turn gives way to a bag-wearing homicidal maniac. What, your writing partners never tried to kill you? Alternate: Swear-A-Long Scarface at the Ford Amphitheater. It is what it sounds like.

Saturday, June 21: After eluding their damn dirty hands in April once and for all, the late Charlton Heston receives a free tribute screening of Planet of the Apes outdoors on Broxton Ave. Alternate: Mystery Science Theater 3000 creator Joel Hodgson and his Cinematic Titanic crew return for a live-on-stage lampooning of Roger Corman's The Wasp Woman.

Sunday, June 22: David Duchovny and Chris Carter drop by the Crest to show clips from X Files: I Want to Believe and deflect amateur screenwriters' offers during the Q&A to write the franchise's next film. Alternate: The engrossing, Sundance-winning doc Man on Wire, about the wack-job who walked between the World Trade Center towers on a tightrope in 1974.

Monday, June 23: Ivan and Jason Reitman chat all things Canadian and nepotistic in a conversation at the Geffen Playhouse. Alternate: Guillermo del Toro chats all things monsters and Hobbit at the Billy Wilder Theater.

Tuesday, June 24: A late revival screening of The Lost Boys promises "special guests" (someone named "Corey" is a high-percentage guess) and a preview of the straight-to-DVD sequel Lost Boys: The Tribe. Alternate: Una Noche con Antonio Banderas at el Teatro de Guillermo Wilder.

Wednesday, June 25: We haven't seen Paper or Plastic?, but any documentary about a grocery-bagging competition in Las Vegas seems virtually guaranteed to soar. Alternate: Josh Safdie's kleptomaniacal Cannes and South By Southwest sensation The Pleasure of Being Robbed.

Thursday, June 26: The Russian social "satire" Cargo 200 is arguably the bleakest, most uncommercial and bitterly amusing film we've seen this year. Which is to say we loved it. See it now or wait for Netflix. Alternate: Rob Reiner gets his spittly, hyperventilating election-year game going with a screening and discussion of his 1995 film The American President.

Friday, June 27: Night Flight: Born Again revisits the gone-but-not-forgotten program's stash of music videos, interviews, shorts and other cult artifacts that made it the compelling (if short-lived) analog to '80s-era MTV. Alternate: If that's not fringe enough for you, three hours' worth of Kuchar brothers films are screening at the same time down the street at the Billy Wilder Theater.

Saturday, June 28: Another crash-worthy gala premiere of Hellboy II: The Golden Army starts winding things down, followed by more monsters-and-Hobbit talk from Guillermo del Toro. Alternate: The Peter Bart-approved crankhead opus Heidi Fleiss: The Would-Be Madam of Crystal.

Sunday, June 30: The W Westwood hosts a 20th-anniversary screening of A Fish Called Wanda. Alternate: None. Are you kidding? Have you seen A Fish Called Wanda?

· Maybe we're a little dead inside, but why can't we make ourselves care about potential Hilary Swank starring vehicles? Even if they involve a "modern day Dracula"? [Variety]
· Fox announces that XZibit, Amanda Peet and Billy Connolly will be in the new X-Files movie, though the obligatory veil of secrecy around the project prevents them from telling us about their roles. [THR]
· VH1randomly selects three members from the Wayans Brothers' talent pool to create "edgy urban comedy" pilot for the network. [THR]

· NBC puts off indefinitely the production of Heroes spin-off Heroes: Origins, with possible reasons for the sudden shelving including the possible writers' strike, the mess the original series has become in its second season, and a strategic redeployment of hit-recycling development brainpower to that rumored The Office offshoot. Also: The Singing Bee is coming off the air for November sweeps. [Variety]
· Oh, happy day! More reteaming! Onetime Closer pals Julia Roberts and Clive Owen join Universal's Duplicity as "longtime lovers and rival corporate spies" who get together to pull "an elaborate con." [THR]
· Holy fucking reteaming shit! This is possibly the best day ever for Hollywood reunions: Heath Ledger will once again hook up with Brothers Grimm director Terry Gilliam for The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. [Variety]